


Finger On The Trigger

by texasbelle91



Series: Trigger Series [1]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Bethyl - friendship only, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Physical Abuse, Protective Carl, Rape, Suicide Attempt, Underage - Freeform, Violence, brick - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-04
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-03-16 08:57:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 40
Words: 68,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3482195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/texasbelle91/pseuds/texasbelle91
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <strong>"Death - the last sleep? No, it is the final awakening. There are more dead people than living. And their numbers are increasing. The living are getting rarer."</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>  <strong>A story of love, loss and betrayal in the zombie apocalypse.</strong></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Running Through My Head

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first story. It was originally posted on fanfiction.net and I'm just now posting it on here with a few minor changes to the chapters. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead or it's characters.

**Rick-**

After everything had gone to hell, we finally found somewhere safe, somewhere we could try to figure things out but now Hershel was telling me he wanted us to leave. He claimed he didn't trust Shane and was afraid of what he was capable of but to be honest, I don't think he trusted any of us. I didn't blame him though, he had a family to protect.

After talking with him, I just stood there on the porch looking out at my group, I noticed Shane was nowhere in sight. Then I spotted Lori, she was looking for someone, "Shane," I thought, "that bastard had been my best friend and I trusted him." My mind wandered...How long had it been going on? Were they fucking each other before all this happened and had I just missed the signs? Is he the reason Lori picked fights with me, in front of Carl? I had to stop my mind before my imagination got the better of me. I hurried off the porch after Lori, by this time she was with Shane and they were holding hands. 

"Lori, Shane," I called out as I could feel my anger growing. They let go of each other and Lori ran off. "Hey," I called out after her but she didn't stop. My fists clenched as I turned to Shane, "We need to have a talk," I said.

"Alright," he replied, "What's up?"

"Are you still fucking my wife?"

"No."

"Good, stay the hell away from her. Now that I'm here, you have no reason to be around her...or Carl," I said, walking off before he could respond.

My mind began wandering again...What the hell was going on? Why were they meeting like that?

As I approached the house, I saw Hershel's youngest daughter watching me through her window, though I didn't know her well, she still reminded me of Lori when we first met. She was beautiful, shy, sweet and innocent -that was the Lori I loved, not the one who cheated on me with my best friend, of all the people, "Why him?" I asked myself.  
_________________

**Lori-**

I'm pregnant! I thought to myself...What the hell am I gonna do? How do I tell Rick? Telling Shane didn't help, he said he wanted to be there for me and the baby. How do I tell Rick that even though there's a chance the baby is his, I believe it's Shane's? I can't deal with this now, I stood up, shook off my thoughts and headed into the house to help with supper.

"Bethie! Please come down and help us in the kitchen," Maggie called for her sister as I entered the kitchen. "How's she doin'," I asked.

"Not good," Maggie replied wearily, "she's been staring out her window all day."

I could see the worry on her face. "She's just shocked but she'll snap out of it when she's ready. All she needs is time and to be left alone," I told her.

"Time! You think she needs time?! I don't know if you've noticed but that's one thing we don't have a whole lot of and I'm not gonna let my little sister sit in her room and be alone. She needs me, she needs her family," Maggie said angrily.

"Okay," I shook my head, not wanting to give cause for them to make us leave.

At supper I noticed Rick glancing back and forth between Beth and I. He had a look of both concern and confusion on his face. What was he thinking and what did Beth have to do with it? After all, they had barely spoken two words to each other since we arrived here. I caught myself. Great, now I'm becoming suspicious of Rick even though I know he would never cross that line. He loved me and I could see it broke his heart to find out about Shane and I and I know he would never hurt me the way I've hurt him.


	2. Going Off The Deep End

**Beth-**

My mama, my brother, Jimmy, Otis and Patricia were all gone now. All that remained of my family was daddy and Maggie. Daddy treated me like a child he wanted to keep shielded from the world and all Maggie wanted to do was boss me around and act like I was completely helpless, like I had no mind of my own and therefore, couldn't think for myself. Well, here I am, my life has been reduced to this, nothing more than a burden to those I love and to what was left of the world. I needed to go, to get away from here but I couldn't run, I could barely bring myself to go downstairs to eat. I heard them calling my name but I just couldn't bring myself to answer. I was lost to the world in my own thoughts. Everyone had things to do but nope, not me, all I was assigned to do was stay out of the way unless I was asked to help the others but they never asked, they just stared at me and whispered amongst themselves. I was jolted out of my own thoughts when someone suddenly opened my bedroom door, it was Lori.

"Hey sweetie," she said, "I'm sorry I startled you but we were all getting worried. I figured you needed some alone time so I brought you lunch."

"Thank you," I replied, "you didn't have to bring me anything, I'm really not that hungry anyway."

Lori walked over and sat the tray on my nightstand before taking a seat on my bed, she patted the spot next her and said, "Come sit down," I slowly walked over and took a seat next to her, "I want you to know that I'm here for you, its hard dealing with loss at any age but with the way the world is now, I can only imagine how hard it is to process and deal with everything you've gone through recently. You're still so young that you shouldn't have to be going through this, especially not on your own. Now before you say anything, I wanted to tell you that I've talked to Hershel and Maggie and while they both want what's best for you, they're not entirely sure what to do. Maggie didn't like the idea of leaving you alone and giving you space but your father agrees with me. So, if you feel you can't talk to either one of them just yet, maybe it would be easier to talk to someone you don't know..."

"Lori," I interrupted her, "I don't think I can go on living like this. I have nothing to live for. Most of everyone I love is gone, Maggie has Glenn, she doesn't need me. I tried to talk to daddy about it but all he had to say was that I should open my Bible, I should read it and know that my faith can get me through this. But, I'm not so sure I believe anymore, I want to believe but I don't." I hung my head as tears started to fall. The devout Christian girl I once was is gone and now I can only think about committing a sin that I'm not sure would be forgiven by God or my family. "Sometimes you just have to believe and have faith no matter what," she said, "sometimes that's all you have. Prayers may not mean much to you right now but it still doesn't hurt to try." I picked my Bible up off the bed and in that moment, I made up my mind, I dried my tears, raised my head and thanked Lori for her help. She politely smiled and before leaving my room she said, "Anytime, Beth. I'm here whenever you need me." But that's just it! I didn't need her, I didn't need anyone else. After a few minutes, I tossed my Bible aside.

I looked at the tray of food and reached for the knife, it had to be done. As I walked into the bathroom, I sat down on the floor and all my fears seemed to be gone. "You can do this Beth," I said aloud. I brought the knife to my left wrist and sliced it, just as I raised it to my right wrist, I suddenly stopped. "I don't wanna die," I cried out again and again, almost screaming. Maggie and Lori must have heard me because they came running in and hurriedly wrapped my wrist in bandages.

"Beth Annamarie Greene, what the hell is wrong with you?!" Maggie yelled and then she drew back and slapped me before continuing, "That's for being a selfish bitch and trying to take the easy way out. How do you think dad will feel about this? How do you think I feel? Huh? Did you even consider anyone else but yourself? If your Mom was here, she would be so disappointed in you!" Maggie stormed off while Lori just stood there staring at me, the look on her face was almost motherly.


	3. Time To Get A Gun

**Lori-**

It was almost winter and I knew I couldn't keep my pregnancy a secret much longer. The only people I had confided in were Beth and Shane and that didn't help me any. I'm sure the others noticed the signs but none of them said a word. I still had to tell Rick though and I had decided that today was the day I told him. After all, he did have a right to know. He was by the RV talking to Carl.

"Carl, your father and I need to talk alone," I said.

"But dad was fixin' to teach me 'bout guns," he replied.

"Now Carl!"

"Fine!", he growled back.

"What'd you wanna talk about?", Rick asked me.

I hesitated but finally said, "Me, you, Shane...and the baby."

"Baby?! What baby? Who...?", he said with a confused and heartbroken look on his face.

"My baby. I don't know which one of you is the father. It could be you but it's probably Shane...," he interrupted before I could finish.

"No, our baby," he said, "you're my wife, that baby is mine. Not his, mine!"

After a few moments of silence, he rubbed his face and softly asked, "Does he know?"

"Yeah, he knows."

"Well then, I'll be the one making sure he knows it's mine and if he comes anywhere near you..."

"Stop it, Rick. We both know things will never be the same. I think it'd be better if all three of us talked about this, together."

"I don't want him around, Lori. I need to know that whatever y'all had is over."

**Beth-**

I can't believe she's pregnant and to think the baby could be Shane's creeped me out. I could see that he cared about her, maybe even loved her but there was something off about him. He was obviously jealous of Rick and there was something dark lingering in his eyes.

I'd been in the house for weeks now and I was under constant supervision since my incident. I needed something to occupy my mind so I asked daddy if I could learn how to shoot a gun. He didn't like the idea but he knew it was better for me to get out of the house and learn how to protect myself, so he agreed.

"Lori," I said, "can I talk to you a minute?"

"Yeah, of course. What's on your mind?"

"I know y'all are gonna target practice later and I was wonderin' if I could come along. I've already asked daddy and he agreed that I should learn how to use a gun."

"Well, you should be askin' Rick about this, not me. I'm sure he won't mind but I know he wouldn't want to upset your father. So go talk to him, okay?"

"Yes ma'am," I said.

When I found Rick he was showing Carl how to hold a gun and giving him some safety tips.

"Mr. Grimes?"

"Yeah," he said as he looked up at me.

"I've already talked to my daddy and he said it was okay for me to learn about guns and Lori said I should talk to you if I wanted to go to target practice. Can I come with y'all?"

"Sure, I was just showin' Carl some things. Have a seat and I'll go over them again," he said.

A little while later we were all ready for practice. Daryl, Rick and Shane had set up the targets and told us who our teachers were. Rick was helping Lori and Carl; Daryl was helping Maggie, Glenn and Carol; and me and Andrea got stuck with Shane.

I'd never been around so many guns.

Everyone else had some experience with guns but I didn't have any so Shane payed more attention to me which only made me more nervous.

I tried to focus on my target and not let anything distract me but I could feel him watching me.

"You're holdin' it wrong and your posture is horrible," he said, "you wanna stand your ground, not get knocked on your ass."

I looked around at the others, tryin' to get an idea of what I should do but it didn't help.

Before I knew it, Shane's arms were around me. "Hold the gun like this and spread your legs a little. Remember, you need to stand your ground. You can't be afraid of the gun. You think you got it now?"

I nodded as he slid his hands up my arms and placed them on my shoulders. I got tense as I felt his breath on my neck and he whispered in my ear, "Now line up your target and take a deep breath," I did as I was told, "now pull the trigger."

**Rick-**

I'd been keepin' a close eye on Shane to be sure he left my family alone and didn't cause any trouble for the rest of us. After finding out about the baby, I just knew he would try something with Lori.

Lori was already a pretty good shot and Carl didn't need much instructin' so I watched the others to see how they were doin'. Maggie, Carol and Glenn could definitely hold their own, Andrea missed a few times but she certainly didn't need much help. Just as I looked over to see Shane with his arms around Beth, she pulled the trigger and hit her target.

"Beginners luck!" Daryl shouted to her with a smile and a wink. She just smiled at him shyly and looked away.

I heard Shane ask her if she wanted to try again and she nodded her head. She got in position with his help and then he moved his hands slowly down to her hips with no intentions of being subtle and whispered something to her. Whatever it was must've been the right thing 'cause she hit her target again. Shane immediately tried to hug her but she pulled away before he got too close.

"What the hell is wrong with him? Is he really losin' his mind?" I thought to myself, "She's a child! Poor girl couldn't be more than 16 or 17." and from the look on her face, it was clear she was uncomfortable in the position he was putting her in.

As I looked on, I kept thinking, "Was he tryin' to get Lori's attention? Was he tryin' to make her jealous and was it workin'? Did she really have feelings for him or was he just there for her amusement? Or was I the one that was there for _their_ amusement?"


	4. Trouble With The Truth

**Lori-**

A few weeks ago I became more aware of every move Shane made when he was trying to teach Beth how to shoot and I've noticed every move he's made since then. I was a little jealous but I could tell that Beth was uneasy and wasn't going to give in to his advances. He was doin' it just to piss me off and it was workin'. He made it a point to try to get my attention whenever Rick was around, like he wanted a reason to fight.

Beth and I had gotten close and I felt protective of her, after all, she had lost her mother and her sister payed her little attention. The attention she was getting was unwanted. She was scared. I had to talk to her.

"Beth, is everything alright?" I asked as I walked into her room.

"Yes ma'am, everything's fine. I just miss my mama is all."

"I know you do sweetie. Mind if I talk to you about somethin'?" 

She just nodded.

"I've seen what's goin' on with Shane. I know you're a good girl and I don't want you to get hurt. I care too much about you, Beth."

"I've asked him to stop and leave me alone but he won't," she said.

"Is that why you're in here?" I asked. She just nodded her head again. 

"Don't worry, Bethie, I'll make sure he leaves you alone," I said as I hugged her.

"Thank you," she replied.

I'd been searching for Shane most of the day and when I finally found him, he just smirked at me. I gestured for him to follow me to a cluster of trees away from the group so we could talk.

"You need to leave Beth alone," I said to him roughly, "she's just a kid and you're scarin' her!"

"Leave 'er alone? What if I don't want to?" he said almost jokingly.

"You will if you still love me," I whispered as I pulled him into a kiss. I knew what was needed to keep him away from her and I was more than happy to oblige.

**Rick-**

We were gettin' ready to make a run into town for supplies and because Hershel had suggested that we try to find some pre-natal vitamins for Lori.

After we finished makin' plans, I went outside to find her and see if she needed anything else.

"You lookin' for Lori?" asked Andrea.

"Yeah. You know where she is?"

"Last I seen her was a couple hours ago, she was headed over there to those trees."

"Thanks."

As I got closer I could hear Lori moaning and then I heard Shane.

"I'll be damned. They must think that I'm stupid!" I said to myself when I saw them.

I shook my head, I was stupid to believe she wouldn't do anything with him again. She had assured me that it was over and that he meant nothing to her.

"Earth to Rick!" Maggie yelled to get my attention, "you comin' with us or not? Daryl's gettin' antsy and Glenn's already in the car."

"Yeah," I said, "I'm comin'."

The whole way into town I kept thinkin' 'bout Lori and Shane. I still can't believe I caught 'em.

"What's on your mind, Rick?" Maggie asked.

"Nothin' just hopin' everything goes okay and we don't run into to many walkers."


	5. Calm Before The Storm

**Rick-**

We were supposed to be gathering supplies to take back to the farm but my mind kept wonderin'. Whenever we left for a run, I feared Lori was pulling further away from me and closer to Shane and I was right, but I couldn't send him out on the runs, not with Daryl and Maggie anyway.

We'd just about picked this place clean except for a small rack of baby clothes that I couldn't help but glance at every time I passed by it. I had told Lori the baby was mine and I meant it but it didn't change what she had done. I was afraid that no matter how much I loved Lori and the baby, the baby would be a constant reminder of what she did, even if the baby was mine.

"We gotta get the hell outta here, there's a whole heard of walkers head straight for us," Daryl interrupted my thoughts.  
_______________

**Beth-**

My birthday came and went but it wasn't mentioned and that irritated me. Had daddy and Maggie forgotten? They never forgot before. With everything that's happened, I knew I shouldn't be mad about it but I kinda was. I guess I was acting like a little kid, hiding in my room just so no one asked me what was wrong. But I knew I couldn't hide in the house forever so I told daddy I would feed the horses for him. I loved spending time with them, it was sorta like therapy for me.

"Nellie is pretty but not as pretty as my horse, Starlight," I thought to myself as I approached them.

"Hey girl, I've missed you," I said to her, "d'you miss me?" I couldn't help but laugh as she snorted and went for the treats in my pocket.

"I'll be back in a minute to give you more treats and maybe we'll go for a ride," I told her.

I went to the tack room, got out the feed buckets, filled them with feed and toted them one by one to whichever horse they went to. All the while singin', _"Her daddy gave her, her first pony/ Then taught her to ride/ She climbed high in that saddle/ Fell I don't know how many times/ Taught her a lesson that she learned maybe a little too well/_

_Cowgirls don't cry/ Ride, baby, ride/ lessons of life are gonna show you in time/ soon enough your gonna know why/ it's gonna hurt every now and then if you fall get back on again/ Cowgirls don't cry"_

It always seemed to soothe the horses and myself. After finishing the song, I hummed the same tune while I carried the buckets back to the tack room.

As I stepped in to put them back on the shelf, someone grabbed me. I tried to fight them off but I couldn't. I even tried to scream but their hand was over my mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **The song used in this chapter is "Cowgirls Don't Cry" by Brooks & Dunn**
> 
> **please review**


	6. Good Lord, Lori

**Beth-**

I couldn't help but feel awkward around everyone, especially around him. After what he did to me, I couldn't even stand to hear his name and anytime I was around him I would get physically sick. I felt like it was my fault. "Did I say or do somethin' to make him do that?", I thought. I wish I could crawl into a hole and die...or at least stay there forever.

At dinner he sat across from me, even though his eyes occasionally left his plate, they never landed on me. But I still felt like he was watching me. One thing was certain though, he was in my head and he was here to stay. The only time I get a slight sense of peace is when I'm asleep and dreaming about life before there were walkers...and him.  
________

**Rick-**

I was drivin' myself crazy thinkin' 'bout Lori and Shane. I needed to talk to her, find out why she was with him but I was afraid of what her answer would be. I know she thought I was dead and she needed comfort but she didn't have to do what she did. I know our marriage wasn't perfect, we'd been havin' trouble but that was no reason for her to fuck him. I think that was what I was havin' trouble with the most.

"Lori, I saw you with Shane.", the words stumbled out but she needed to know that I knew. "Why him? What was I doin' wrong that made you go to him?"

"That's all you're concerned with, why him?! Did you ever once think that maybe he wasn't our problem, you were?", Lori stated rather than asked. "Our marriage was in trouble long before Shane. All because you stopped communicating with me. You pushed me away, Rick."

"Well maybe I stopped communicating because you were never interested in the stuff I was goin' through. You never wanted to do things with me anymore," I told her.

"What you were goin' through?! What about the shit I was goin' through? I needed you more than anything but you weren't there. Shane was! You didn't seem to care about me."

"I do care about you. I love you, Lori. More than anything, more than you know. I'm sorry if I never made it a point to tell you but I do and that'll never change. I'm willin' to take responsibility for my part but I'm not the only one to blame here. Look, I believe our marriage is still worth fightin' for but if you don't, if you want out, then please tell me now. Otherwise, I expect you to end it with Shane, for good this time."

"I don't want out. I still love you, Rick. I swear it really is over this time. I'll make sure he knows it. I want to be with you, not Shane. I want us to be a family again. You, me, Carl and this baby, we're a family."


	7. The Next Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **WARNING: RAPE IMPLIED**
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead or it's characters.
> 
> A/N: I hope y'all will enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think. :)

________________________________________

**Beth-**

Every time I went to feed the horses I was afraid he'd come back so I started carrying a gun with me. I wasn't even sure I'd be able to use it if I had to but maybe I could scare him off with it.

I was thankful whenever he didn't show up, even though I knew he eventually would. After all, he had told me it wouldn't be so bad next time. "Next time", those words stuck in my head and scared me more than anything ever has before.

As I was finishing up in the barn, Nellie started acting up. I knew something was bothering her but I figured she just wanted out of her stall since she'd been in there for a while. But I was wrong.

He grabbed me again and carried me back to the tack room. This time I was able to fight back but I couldn't get to my gun, it had fallen out of my pocket and onto the floor. I managed to scratch his face and chest but he was too strong. There was no way I was gettin' out of here until he got what he wanted. All I could do was close my eyes and pray for it to be over soon.

________________________________________

**Rick-**

Things were gettin' worse. Everyday we found more and more walkers around the farm, it wouldn't be long until we got overrun. We all knew it was just a matter of time.

We were makin' sure we had the stuff we would need packed into our vehicles just in case we had to rush outta there when I noticed someone was missin' he'd been here a minute ago but now he was gone.

"Where the hell did he go?", I mumbled to myself.

"Where did who go?", Hershel asked.

"Shane, you seen him?"

"No, not for a while. Isn't he on watch?"

"Supposed to be but he's not," I said motioning towards the windmill.

I asked the others if they'd seen him but they hadn't.

"Maybe he's helpin' Daryl," Carol said.

"Maybe, I'll see if I can find him 'cause we need someone watchin' out for walkers.", I told them.

"Shane!", I kept callin' him but never seen or heard him.

I must've walked all over the farm and still hadn't found him. As I passed the barn I heard the horses goin' crazy.

"Shit!", I thought, "were the walkers already this close to us."

I entered quietly just in case there were some in there.

I was about to pass the tack room when I heard muffled sounds. I thought I was ready for what was in there but nothin' could've prepared me for what I found.

There was Shane, on top of Beth. She was tryin' hard to fight him off but he overpowered her.

"What the fucks goin' on?", I said as I pulled him off of her.

"None of your damn business.", was all he said.

I was pissed, I drew back and knocked the shit out of him, sending him into one of the shelves. I'm not sure what came over me but I kept on punchin' him.

"That all you got?", he laughed.

"Lori not enough for you?", I asked as he fought back.


	8. Looking Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: In this story Lori is further along in her pregnancy at the farm than she was on the show. Once again, I'm sorry this is so short, I promise the next chapter will be longer.

**Lori-**

I was beginning to get worried. Shane had disappeared and Rick was out lookin' for him. I couldn't let myself get caught up in that now, if somethin' had happened to them, then we needed to be ready to go.

"I fixed tea. You want some?" Carol asked.

"Sure."

Carol, Andrea, Maggie and myself sat around the dinner table. We all tried to carry on a conversation but given our situation, it was hard to. I could tell by the smiles on their faces that they were thinkin' about the way life used to be. I was thinkin' about it too. It seems we've all been thinkin' about that lately.

"I bet it's a boy," Maggie said.

I just laughed. I was just beginning to show.

"If we're makin' bets, then I say it's a girl," Carol said.

"Nah, I think Maggie's right, it's a boy," Andrea replied.

________________________________________

**Beth-**

All I could do was cry. My eyes were shut but I could still see him. Someone had came in and pulled him off of me but it still felt like I was pinned.

"Open your eyes, Beth. Run!", a little voice in my head told me. I can't, if I open my eyes then it's real.

I don't know how long I laid there but it felt like forever. I finally worked up the courage to open my eyes and sit up. I pulled my pants up but my shirt was ripped.

Rick and Shane were beating the hell out of each other.

"Stop it!", I screamed, still crying.

Shane was on top of Rick beatin' him with something. The gun I had brought with me was on the floor.

I picked it up, aimed and pulled the trigger.


	9. Gonna Be Okay

**Rick-**

"No Beth!", I yelled as she aimed the gun. That was one thing she didn't need on her conscience. If Shane was gonna die, it would be on me, no one else, especially not Beth. After what I saw, she didn't need that too.

She pulled the trigger anyway, the bullet struck Shane in the shoulder and he fell. When he got back up he headed for Beth and she dropped the gun.

I took the chance to grab an iron tool and smashed it into his head. He fell again, bleeding and motionless but still breathing. I had to catch my breath.

"What the fuck happened here?", Daryl asked runnin' in, the others were a few steps behind him, they must've heard the gunshot.

"Shane...he...Beth...," was all I could say between breaths. Beth didn't try to answer, she just started cryin' again.

"Is he dead?", Carl asked peeking his head into the room.

"No, go back to the house Carl."

"Bethie, what happened?", asked Hershel.

She looked up at him and ran out of the room, cryin' harder than she was before.

"What happened?", he asked again.

I shook my head in response. I had to talk to Beth first and make sure she was okay.

_______________________________________

**Beth-**

I was so embarrassed when daddy asked me what happened. How could I tell him? How could I tell any of them what happened?

I laid on my bed cryin' and prayin' to God it was all a bad dream when Rick came in, he didn't bother knockin' or anything.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I should've kept a better eye on him. What he did to you was wrong and I'm sorry for that."

I sat up, still cryin' and said, "You shouldn't be sorry. He did it, not you."

"Everyone wants to know what happened. I was gonna tell 'em but I couldn't without talkin' to you first."

"Please don't tell them.", I said as my tears began to fall harder.

"Beth, has he tried to do anything before?"

All I could do was cry and shake my head yes.

"What did he do?"

"The same thing he did today."

"Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"Because I didn't want to cause anymore trouble for anyone and I was scared of him. Please don't tell anyone, I don't want them to know."

He came over and pulled me up off the bed and wrapped me in a hug. "I'm sorry" was all he kept sayin'.

______________________________

**Lori-**

Whatever happened in the barn wasn't bein' said. Rick had asked Glenn to keep an eye on everyone to make sure nobody bothered Beth and he had asked Daryl to help him with Shane. None of us had a clue what happened or what was about to happen.

We had all formed our own opinions about it when Beth finally came down stairs. Maggie and Hershel both rushed to hug her but nobody said anything for a while. Finally, Maggie asked her what had happened with Shane but she didn't answer. Instead she asked where Rick was.

"He and Daryl went to deal with Shane," Glenn told her, "they'll be back in a little while."

She nodded her head okay and went back upstairs before anyone could say anything else to her.


	10. Lose It All

**Rick-**

We carried Shane to the old barn. Daryl was ready to kill him after I told him what I walked in on. I didn't blame him for it, I wanted to kill Shane when I saw him.

We questioned him about why he did that to her. He acted like he enjoyed seein' the way we reacted.

"You took Lori from me, you claimed my baby as yours, I wanted somethin' that was mine, somethin' you couldn't have 'cause I couldn't have her. Everything was fine 'til you showed back up," he said.

"You know that baby's mine and Lori loves me, she always has. Hell, we've been together before, you always picked the job over her." he said with a smile, "But Beth, damn, she was perfect. She was tight and a much better fuck than Lori."

I froze, he thought of my family as his, Daryl took that as a chance to jump in and beat the hell outta him.

I pushed Daryl outta the way. "They're mine!", I kept repeating as I hit him until he wasn't movin', just barely breathin'. I stood and looked down at him. After everything he's done, I still couldn't put a bullet in his head.

Back at the house everyone questioned us about where Shane was. Daryl didn't answer them and I couldn't answer them, I didn't have an answer anyway. They knew he was unstable but that didn't change how Lori and Carl felt about him.

I looked around the room at everyone, they were all watching me and waiting for an answer, I had to do it. They needed to know everything, they needed to know what he did to Beth. I wasn't gonna tell them everything he did though, just that he had hurt her. The details weren't important right now. I had promised her I wouldn't tell them what all he did. When I was ready to talk, I looked to her for permission to tell them and she nodded.

As I spoke, I could see her watching me again. I couldn't tell if she was paying attention or just lost in her own thoughts, but nevertheless, her eyes were on me.

________________________________________

**Beth-**

I knew Rick wasn't gonna tell everyone what Shane did, just that he was hittin' me, not that he had raped me several times. It was bad enough he had told Daryl because he kept askin' if I was okay. I said I was even though I really wasn't. I couldn't help but smile at him though, he was beginning to remind me of my brother Shawn, it didn't matter how much he picked on me, he was still protective and always wanted to make sure I was okay, that was how Daryl was acting now.

I knew what was on Ricks mind as he spoke, what he had done shown in his eyes. I could see he was disgusted with himself. I watched Lori, she didn't even seem to notice how he felt, she just kept asking about Shane.

When Rick had finished telling everyone what happened I could see something inside Lori snap. I had grown close to her, she was caring and someone I felt I could trust but after Rick told them what Shane did, she just stared at me like it was my fault. I was very thankful he didn't tell them everything.I could only imagine how they'd all react if he had.

Lori had been the only person I've been able to talk to and I hadn't seen her act this cold before. How could she act like that, her husband obviously needed her, I needed her too. I think on some level she thought she could have both of them and everything would be fine.

________________________________________

**Lori-**

I know it wasn't Beth's fault, if it were anyone's fault at all, it was mine for not stopping whatever was between us and leading Shane to believe it would be more. If I had of put an end to things sooner, maybe he wouldn't have lost it. I needed Rick and Beth to know I was sorry but neither of them would speak to me. Rick brushed me off sayin' he couldn't talk about it right then and Beth just ran to her room cryin'. I had a feeling there was more to the story than what Rick had told us.

That night as I slept I kept dreamin' about life before Rick and I had trouble. Everything was good, I couldn't have been happier. Where did it all go wrong? I knew Rick was right, he wasn't the only one to blame, I had done more than my part to destroy our marriage.

I was awoken by screams as a huge heard of walkers drew closer to the house.

"Mom, come on. We gotta go!", Carl yelled.


	11. The Rabbit Doesn't Die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Lori is further along in this story. She's about 8 months. In chapter 8 she was "just beginning to show", that would put her around 5 months, this chapter is about 2-3 months after that. (I just felt I should explain that instead of just throwing it in there).

**Rick-**

It's been a few months since the farm was overrun with walkers and everyday since then we'd been searchin' for somewhere we could stay. When we found the prison, we told everyone about it and decided we should move there. It was safer than being on the road especially now that Lori is further along.

After we cleared the walkers from the prison yard inside the first gate, we decided to go on a run for some supplies. Before we left Beth slipped us a note asking us to get her a few things.

When we finally returned, we gave her the things she'd asked for and we waited patiently. When she saw that we were waitin', she came over to us.

"It's positive," she said while fightin' back tears, she hung her head. We just stared at her for a while, none of us knew what to say.

"Shit! What the fuck happens now?", Daryl asked me, still staring at Beth.

"Hell if I know. Hershel is gonna be pissed when he finds out we knew what happened and didn't tell him. Especially since she's pregnant."

"Tell him it's my fault and it is. I asked y'all not to tell. But we don't have to tell him or anyone else that I'm pregnant, not right now at least.", Beth told us. "I don't want this!", she burst into tears and then stormed off.

"Fuck, what'd we do?", Daryl asked me.

"On our next run we'll try to find somethin', I'm sure they have stuff for these kinda things."

________________________________________

**Lori-**

I could see there was something wrong with Beth and though no one said anything, I could tell they saw it too. We'd all heard her cryin' for the past week or so but tonight her cry was different.

"What's goin' on with Beth?", I asked Daryl and Rick as I approached them. I had seen them talkin' to Beth earlier, before she started her cryin', I knew they knew somethin' about what was bothering her.

"How the hell should we know? Why don't you ask 'er your-fuckin'-self?", Daryl smarted off to me.

"I know y'all know and if you don't tell me what's goin' on now, I'll let Hershel know y'all are keepin' somethin' about Beth from him."

They both looked at each other, Daryl shook his head disapprovingly and looked down but finally Rick said, "She's pregnant."

"What?! Oh my God, which one of you...?", I was disgusted.

"You got it wrong, Lori. It ain't one of us, the baby is Shane's. He raped her, that's what he was doin' to her in the barn."

"Shane's? You expect me to believe that! Shane would never have done anything like that, I know he wouldn't have. If he did rape her, why would she tell y'all and not her family? Why didn't she tell me? "

They looked at each other again, this time Daryl walked away and towards Beth and when he did, Rick started tellin' me what was goin' on.

"I don't know everything about it but that day in the barn, I walked in and Shane was raping her, she was tryin' to fight him off. That wasn't the first time he did that to her though, she said it'd happened before and she was too scared to tell anyone. Maybe she told us 'cause I saw it happen, I saw what he was doin' to her! And maybe she didn't tell you because she knew you were fuckin' Shane, hell, everyone knew!"

"Why the hell didn't y'all tell us then? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Lori, We didn't tell you or anyone else because she asked us not to."

"Even if she didn't want us to know, you had no right keepin' that from Hershel and Maggie! I'm goin' to talk to her." I was pissed at Rick and Daryl but mostly at myself, I didn't think he would do anything like that. I had to calm down and talk to Beth about it. I couldn't help but feel sorry for her.

________________________________________

**Beth-**

Daryl had come over and told me that Lori was questioning him and Rick about me and that Rick had told her about my situation. The last thing I expected was for her to wanna talk to me so I was surprised when she came over.

"Beth, do you want this baby?", Lori asked me, she didn't sound mad but rather worried and confused.

"No, I don't. But I don't really have a choice, do I."

"No, I guess not. But you know when I found out I was pregnant I took those 'morning after' pills. There's absolutely no guarantee they would work but that's somethin' you may wanna try. I know they have abortion pills but they would only be at a hospital or an abortion clinic and they'd be really difficult to find. If you do have the baby though, we are all here for you. You don't have to do this alone. But you shouldn't worry too much, there's always a chance it was a false positive, you could've been pregnant and miscarried. That may be why the test came out positive. It happens, you know. If you're late, it could be from stress or maybe it's because you're malnourished. You should definitely take another test because you may not be pregnant."

"Thanks but what if I am really pregnant? How would I get them? The pills or the test? I don't want Maggie and my daddy to know."

"Well, Rick said we are gonna try to clear the prison tomorrow, so in a couple of days when they go on a run, I'll tell him and Daryl what to look for, okay? They've already gotten you one pregnancy test, I'm sure they can find you another one."

"Yes ma'am. Please don't tell anyone else yet."

"I won't but if you are, they'll need to know eventually."

"Thank you." I told her and I shook my head yes as she started to walk away. I don't want this baby but I couldn't help but think Lori was a little jealous of the fact that the baby was Shane's and she didn't want me to have it. We all know her baby is his. No matter how much she says she loves Rick, she obviously loved Shane. I couldn't help but smile a little though because no matter what her feelings are, she did give me a little hope. Maybe it was a false positive, maybe it is because of stress or malnutrition.


	12. Inside

**Beth-**

Lori had tried comforting me but it didn't really help. I needed to be alone but just as I started thinking about everything that was happening, I was interrupted.

I jumped as Rick came up behind me and started talkin', "What'd Lori say? She ain't botherin' you, is she?"

"No sir, she aint and she didn't say nothin' really. Just the test could've been wrong and that I needed to take another one but I don't think it's wrong."

He just looked at me, "Well, if she starts any trouble with you, you come to me. Okay?"

"Yes sir."

"And don't worry about anything. We'll figure things out," he was silent for a minute then he spoke again, "Come on, we all need to go over the plans for tomorrow."

I just nodded and followed him to where the others were.

________________________________________

**Rick-**

"Tomorrow we're gonna split off into groups. Daryl, Maggie, Glenn and Andrea, y'all are with me. We're gonna try to clear out a cell block. Hershel, Carl, I want y'all with Lori, Beth and Carol outside clearing the yard. I don't want y'all goin' into the prison 'til we get a place cleared."

"Rick, I think it would be best if we stayed out here and tried to rest for a few days. We all need it.", Lori said.

"No, the sooner we get in there, the sooner we can rest. We're not stayin' out here another night. It ain't safe. Y'all okay with what we're gonna do tomorrow?"

I looked around at them and they all nodded in agreement.

The next day we set out to clear a cell block. When we had finished, we got the others and our stuff and tried to settle in.

Afterwards we all gathered to make plans on what to do next.

"I've already talked to Hershel and Daryl. We're gonna try to find the cafeteria and infirmary tomorrow to see if we can find anything useful. Food, medical supplies, there has to be some of those things left."

"Are we gonna split into groups," Maggie asked.

"No. We're not gonna split up just yet. We just need to see what we can find that'll be useful. Carl, you're stayin' here with Carol, Beth and your mom. The rest of us are gonna see what we can find."


	13. It Gets To Me

**Lori-**

I have to admit that I'm pissed off at Rick. He talks to everyone and he values their opinions but when I voice mine, he just brushes me off. Even though I can't blame him for treating me like this, I can't help but be pissed. Everything has changed. I can even tell how differently he is treating me compared to how he is treating Beth. Though I'm sure none of the others have noticed. It's almost as if I'm nothing more than the mother of his children, not his wife, not his partner, not even someone he used to love. I'm nothing. Yet the way he treats Beth is the total opposite. She's something. Someone he clearly cares for and someone he wants to protect. I don't think he's in love with her or anything like that but she definitely means more to him than I do. I guess I'm a little more jealous than I thought.

As I sat there lost in my own thoughts, I looked down at Hershel and I can't help but think he needs to know about his grandchild.

I'm fully aware that he is unconscious after having his leg amputated and from the loss of blood but I leaned in close to his ear anyway.

"Hershel, you have to pull through this. You have so much to live for. You're going to be a grandpa. Beth is pregnant," I whispered to him.

"A little louder, Lori. I don't think everyone heard you," Rick said suddenly, making me jump, " you can't keep a fucking thing to yourself, can you?"

"Rick, regardless of what Beth decides to do, I think he should know. He needs to know and it's not for you to decide whether or not he finds out. Beth is his daughter. It's not your place to keep it from him."

"And it's not your place to tell him," he said while grabbing my arm and pulling me into another cell, "me and Daryl are goin' on a run to get stuff for Hershel's leg. While we're gone, you need to keep your fucking mouth shut. Last thing we need is for everyone to find out about Beth. Especially right now. If and when she's ready, she will be the one to tell everyone. Not you!"

Before he left the cell he turned back towards me and said, "All you need to do is help Maggie and Carol tend to Hershel and stay the hell away from Beth. We'll be back soon."

"Well you need to get her another test," I told him as he left. I was secretly praying she would take it and it would be negative. That is the only way Rick will pay attention to me.

__________________________________

While they were gone, I tried to avoid Beth but I couldn't. We're in too small of a place for that. She was constantly at Hershel's side which made it difficult for me to not only avoid her but to tend to him. She looked so helpless and tired.

"Beth, sweetie. You look tired, why don't you go lay down for a bit," I finally said to her.

"I can't, I don't want to. I wanna be here when daddy wakes up."

"If he wakes up," Maggie said as she entered the cell, "Lori's right. You need to get some rest. I'll stay here with daddy."

Beth began to cry, "Don't say that! He will wake up and he'll be fine!"

I hugged her and tried to reassure her, "He will be fine. I promise he will be."

__________________________________

Rick and Daryl returned a few hours later. He gave Maggie and Carol everything and they began to clean and redress Hershel's leg.

Rick pulled me aside, "I need you to come with me. I got Beth's test. You'll go with her and I'll stand watch. Okay?"

"Okay. But we need to talk afterwards. Not about Beth, not about her baby or mine, but about us, Rick."

"Fine, we'll talk. Now come on so we can get this over with."

"Here Beth," I said giving her the test, "Go over there. I'll hold the light for you, Rick's outside keeping watch."

3 minutes later we both looked at the test. Beth started cryin' again. It was positive.

"Oh sweetie, it'll be okay. Everything will be fine," I said, trying to convince myself more than her.

"Y'all done? We need to get back inside before everyone gets worried," Rick told us.

"We're done," I told him as he looked at Beth and she nodded.

__________________________________

"Rick, we need to have that talk now," I said to him once we were back inside.

"Okay. Say what you need to say."

"I know I've said it before but what happened between me and Shane meant nothing. I did fall for him but he wasn't you. I have always loved you and I always will. I'm truly sorry for what I did to you, to us, to our family. I can't take it back and I don't expect you to forget about it but I am asking you for forgiveness. I'm asking you to please acknowledge that I'm your wife, at least act like you care. We need to be a family. Please forgive me, Rick. Tell me what Ineed to do to make that happen. Please!"

"I do care about you, Lori. I can't forgive you for what you did, not right anyway and I don't know if I ever can but it doesn't mean that I don't love you. I've never stopped loving you. But I can't forgive you, I just can't."

When he was done he turned around and walked out without saying another word and without looking at me.

I stood there for a while, just thinking. There may not be a way to fix things between Rick and I right now but maybe I can get everything settled and deal with Beth. All I need to do is talk to Maggie and she'll make sure Beth does what's best. I just have to talk to her without Rick, Daryl or Beth finding out.

If I can do that, then it'll be Maggie and Hershel's problem and Rick wont have to worry about or protect her. It'll be one less problem for him and then maybe we could try work things out. I have to get him back somehow.

__________________________________

**_A/N: This whole chapter is told from Lori's POV. I felt it was necessary to give a little insight into everything as she sees it. Most of this chapter is centered on her being a little jealous of Beth and though she doesn't think anything is going on between her and Rick, she definitely sees the difference in his attitude towards them individually. She is definitely a little bit of a conniving bitch in this chapter. ;)_ **  
**_Let me know what y'all like or didn't like about this chapter/story, I hope y'all like it though and as always please review, favorite and follow._ **


	14. Last Goodbye

**Beth-**

It's almost been two weeks since daddy's leg was amputated and he's doin' much better now. Lori, Carl and myself helped daddy with his crutches, now he can finally walk around a little. We decided to go for a walk in the prison courtyard, it was a beautiful day. We could see the others clearing walkers on the opposite side of the fence.

Everything seemed to be perfect and we were all safe. But the perfectness and safety was shattered by a group of walkers heading towards us. I ran to a cage where daddy had gone and locked myself in there with him. I saw Maggie, Lori and Carl run into cell block C. I could hear the others screaming out to us but I couldn't make out what they were saying.

__________________________

**Lori-**

We couldn't really see where we were going but we had to find somewhere away from all the walkers. I could feel contarctions starting and I knew from how close they were that it wouldn't be long 'til the baby came.

Carl and Maggie found a room and helped me lie down on the floor.

"You're losing too much blood," Maggie said, "you'll have to have a C-section."

"Maggie, all you had to do is cut along my scar and pull he baby out."

"I can't," she cried.

"Yes you can. You have to or the baby won't make it. Whatever happens to me, you need to be the one to kill me. It can't be Rick or Carl."

"Lori, I can't," she cried again.

"Carl, come here," I said, pulling him into a hug, "I love you, baby. No matter what happens, don't ever change, you're a good boy. You're the best thing I've ever done. I love you. Take care of your little brother or sister for me, okay. Maggie, please tell Rick I love him and I'm sorry."

The one last thing I had to say, I whispered to Carl as I pulled him in for another hug and kissed his cheek.

____________________________

**Beth-**

It seemed like forever when Rick, Daryl, Glenn, Carol and Andrea finally reached me and daddy. We told them which way the others had gone. Before they could even head in that direction, we heard a baby cry.

When Maggie and Carl appeared without Lori, we all knew the worst had happened. Rick quickly ran over to them and started cryin'. My heart broke seein' him fall to the ground. I couldn't keep myself from cryin'. I knew Carl had just lost his mother and Rick had lost his wife but she had become like a best friend, a big sister and a mother to me.

Andrea ran over and helped him up off the ground but he was still cryin'. He looked around at all of us and we all took steps back. He had a crazy, deranged look in his eyes. Maggie tried to stop him but he picked up his axe and disappeared back into the prison.

We all discussed what to do for a few minutes. It was soon agreed upon that Maggie and Daryl would go on a run to see if they could find some formula, diapers and other things the baby would need.

Before they left, Daryl pulled me aside, "Beth, I need you to keep an eye on Carl. The boy just lost his mama. Make sure he's okay and he doesn't try to go after Rick. We can't lose anyone else."

"Okay," I told him.

As they were leaving I walked over to Carl and hugged him. After a couple of minutes he wrapped his arms around me and started cryin'. I didn't really know what to say and I wasn't sure if I could say anything. So I just kissed the top of his head and we started walking back into the prison.

A few hours had passed since Maggie and Daryl had left and Rick still hadn't come back. Glenn was the first one to go and try to talk to him but when he came back, all he did was shake his head, so Daddy went and tried to talk to him but he said it was better to leave Rick alone and that he needed time to work things out for himself.

We all sat there quietly for a while wonderin' what would happen next. Daddy went to his cell and started prayin'. Glenn and Andrea started clearing out the courtyard and Carol tended to the baby. Carl and I went back outside and just sat there in silence but he kept watchin' me.

"Is it true?", he finally asked me.

I was confused, "Is what true?"

"Before she...you know, mom told me to look out for you because you're pregnant. Is it true?"

"Carl, I...I..um...yeah, it's true. Don't say anything to anyone else but...," he interrupted me before I could finish.

"I wont say anything," he said, "but if mom knew, then does everyone else know?"

"No, they don't know, well not everyone knows and I wanna keep it that way," I said.

"Who else knows?"

"Well, Daryl, your dad and now you."

"Daryl and my dad know?!"

"Yeah."

He was silent for a while, then said, "Is it one of 'em?"

"Is it one of 'em, what?"

"The dad. Is Daryl or my dad the dad?" he looked at me with a worried but kind of pissed off look on his face.

"No Carl, ain't neither one of 'em the dad. They've just been helpin' me out is all."

"Good, 'cause that'd be weird. But if they ain't, then who is?"

"I don't think you need to know right now. So just drop it. Okay?"

"Is it that guy Jimmy? I know it can't be Glenn, he's with Maggie."

"It ain't Jimmy. Drop it, please Carl."

He quit talkin' and just stared at me again. I could tell he was goin' over names, tryin' to figure out who the dad was.

"Is it Shane? It's Shane's, isn't it?"

I fought back the urge to puke and the lump in my throat, "No, it's not him."

We stayed outside until it started gettin' dark. When Maggie and Daryl returned, we helped them with the baby stuff and we fixed her a bottle. Daryl picked up the baby, took the bottle from me and started feeding her. We all smiled.

"She got a name yet," he asked Carl.

"No. I was thinkin' maybe Sophia, Amy, Jacque, Patricia or Lori," he shrugged, "I don't know."

"How 'bout Little Ass-Kicker?", Daryl suggested and the baby started cooing. "Ya like that huh," he asked her. We all started laughing. It had been months, if not longer, since any of us had done that.

Later that night Maggie and Glenn went to the guard tower to keep watch; Carol kept watch just outside the prison door and daddy went to his cell to sleep. Carl and Daryl brought the baby to my cell and they both sat down without saying a word.

"At least my sister's gonna have someone to play with," Carl said. Daryls eyes snapped towards him.

"What'd you mean, boy," Daryl asked quietly.

"It's alright. He knows," I told him, "but you both need to keep your voices down and keep it to yourself." They both looked at me.

"What're you gonna do," Daryl asked.

"I don't know."

"What're you gonna do with what," Carl asked, looking at both of us confused.

"I...I don't want the baby."

"So. You can't do nothin' bout it now anyway."

"She can if she wants to," Daryl told him before leaving my cell.

Once again, we sat in silence until the baby started cryin'.

"Hand her here," I told Carl, "I'll hold her while you fix a bottle."

I sat there rockin' her and quietly singing a lullaby. I was so lost in her that I didn't notice Carl come back until he sat down.

"Here," he said, handing me the bottle, " please don't do anything."

"What?"

"Don't do anything. I know y'all were talkin' 'bout you gettin' rid of your baby. Don't do it."

"Carl, it's my choice, not yours."

"I think you should keep it. If you do, my sister will have someone her age to play with. Will you think about keepin' it?"

I looked at him and saw tears forming in he corners of his eyes, "I'll think about it."

Just when we got the baby settled down and asleep, Carol came in and took her to her cell for the night.

_________________________

**_A/N: Yes, I borrowed some dialogue from the show but I loved it. I want to know, do y'all think I should do a chapter of Rick acting completely crazy or skip ahead a little to where he's coming out of it but he's still not right but there's more Rick/Beth interaction? Let me know what y'all think._ **  
**_Now that Lori is dead, should it just be from Rick and Beths POV or should I add a third POV?_ **  
**_Please review, favorite and follow. Thank you so much to everyone who has already done so. :)_ **


	15. Keep it to yourself

**Rick-**

When I entered the cafeteria, the voices I had heard from outside faded into silence as everyone stared. I knew they were all still playin' it safe around me. Hell, they have every right to. Though the shock of what happened has started to wear off, I still see Lori but now I know she's not really there.

"What're y'all doin'," I asked as they continued to stare.

Andrea was the first to speak up, "umm...we were discussing plans for our next run. We need some supplies and things for the baby. Daryl, Carl and I were gonna go in the morning."

"No, you stay here. I'll go with 'em," I looked around, "where's Carl?"

"He's with Beth and the baby. They're in her cell," Maggie pointed out.

Just as I entered the cell block, I felt a hand grab my shoulder, I stopped but didn't turn around.

She moved to stand in front of me, "Rick, we're all here for you. I'm here for you, so if you ever need to talk or anything else, I'm here. You can always come to me."

"Thanks for the offer, Andrea, but I don't need your help. I just need to see my kids."

I walked away before she could say anything else. I didn't want or need her help.

I made my way to Beth's cell and stopped. Carl was holdin' the baby and Beth was reading to them from her Bible. They must've known I was there 'cause they both looked up.

I walked in and looked at the baby, "How is she?"

Carl looked down at her, "She's okay. She likes Beth's voice. It's the only thing that'll make her settle down or sleep."

I smiled, "How 'bout you, Carl? You doin' okay?"

"I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. I'm takin' Andrea's place on the run tomorrow. So it'll be me, you and Daryl."

"Can I go with y'all," Beth asked.

"I don't see why not. But you'll have to ask Hershel first. If he agrees, then you can come with us."

She jumped up and ran out of the cell. I looked to Carl and the baby. "What'd you think we should name her?"

He smiled before answering, "You know my third grade teacher, her first name was Judith. I kinda like that."

"Judith is a good name. I like it."

"I know middle names don't matter now but I think we should give her one anyway," he said while still smiling.

"Well, what'd you think it should be?"

"Lori, after mom. Judith Lori Grimes."

"Judith Lori Grimes it is."

We talked for a little while longer. I was leaving Beth's cell when she returned and she didn't look happy.

"I'm guessin' he said no."

"Yeah. He said it's not safe."

"And he's right. It's not safe out there," I told her.

"I know. But I really wanna go. Everyone else has gone on runs and I haven't. I need to get out of here for a little bit."

I looked at her and sighed, "I'll talk to him for you but I'm not makin' any promises."

Her smile was back, "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

I talked to Hershel about letting her come with us and he reluctantly agreed after Daryl and Carl assured him nothin' would happen to her as long as they were there.

* * *

 

**Beth** -

I was so excited and nervous. I couldn't believe daddy had actually agreed to let me go on a run.

Daryl was on his motorcycle and Carl, Rick and I were in the truck. I couldn't sit still.

"Why'd you really wanna come with us," Rick asked me when we pulled out of the prison gates.

"I really just needed to get out of the prison...," I began before I was interrupted by Carl saying, "You mean you needed out to get somethin' to get rid of your baby."

* * *

 

**Rick** -

"Shit, I forgot you're pregnant. I shouldn't have let you come with us."

I looked over at Carl, "How long have you known?"

"Before mom...um, she told me Beth was pregnant and she wanted me to look out for her," he replied.

I looked back at Beth who had been sittin' there staring out te window, "What are you gonna get?"

"I'm not gonna get anythin'. I've decided not...I've decided to keep it. So, that's what I'm gonna do...keep it. I really did just wanna get out of there for a while and maybe I can find some things for Judith."

"Have you told anyone else you're pregnant?"

"No, I haven't told anyone yet. I plan on tellin' Maggie and daddy when we get back. But I don't wanna tell them how it happened. I'm not ready for that."

"Okay, I'm gonna hold you to it. You have to tell them when we get back."

When we got to the town we were scavengin', Daryl and I went into a small general store and Beth and Carl went to the pharmacy.

We were finishin' up in the store when we heard Carl and Beth scream.

"Dad! There's too many," Carl yelled as they fought off the walkers and tried to get out. We rushed in and helped clear the walkers they couldn't get.

"Hurry, get the bags and lets go," I told them. When we go back to the truck we noticed Beth wasn't with us.

"Where the hell's Beth," Daryl asked Carl.

"I don't know. She was right behind me but I don't know where she is now."

"Damn it. I'll go in and get 'er," Daryl volunteered.

He came out of the building a few minutes later with Beth in his arms, "She's out. She must've fell or somethin'. Looks like she has a piece of glass in the side of 'er stomach and some smaller pieces in 'er head."

"Put her in the truck. We need to hurry back," I told him.

The whole way back to the prison, Carl held her head in his lap so nothin' would hit the shards of glass. I was impressed at now protective he was being of Beth.

When we got back to the prison, I grabbed Beth and carried her to Hershel while the others unloaded the truck.

"How did this happen, Rick?" He asked when he saw her unconscious.

"She fell while tryin' to get away from walkers. Her and Carl were in the pharmacy and the walkers swarmed 'em."

"Is all this blood hers?", Carol said motioning towards Beth's shirt and pants, "there's too much for it to be from her wounds."

"Damn it!" I mumbled, "yeah, it's all hers. She um...she's pregnant."

"Pregnant? My Bethie is pregnant?", he quickly removed his hands from her head and just stared at her in disbelief.

"That explains why she hasn't been eating much and when she does eat, she's been gettin' sick. I thought she had the flu or somethin'," Carol stated more to herself than us.

"How did this happen? Who's the father?" He was still in shock.

"She asked me not to tell anyone and I agreed I wouldn't. She'll tell you when she gets ready."

"So you decided to keep it from us because she asked you to? How long have you known about my Bethie being pregnant?"

"Beth's pregnant!" Maggie yelled as she entered the room and quickly drew her gun on me, "you son of a bitch! You kept this from us knowin' she could end up like your wife! Answer daddy, how long have you known?"

"I've known for a while now, since the night we found the prison."

She stepped closer, "how far along is she?"

"I don't know. My guess would be about 4 months, maybe 5. I'm not exactly sure."

She shoved the gun into my face, "Who's the father?"

"She'll tell you when she's ready."

It took Glenn, Daryl and Andrea to pull her away and get the gun from her hands but she was still screamin'.

"Stop it! What are we gonna do about Beth?" Carol yelled nervously.

Hershel took a closer look at her, "The glass in her head doesn't look too serious but the piece of glass in her stomach looks like it may be in there pretty deep. I won't be able to tell until it's removed." He paused for a moment, "Everyone except Carol needs to leave so we can get to work. Maggie, dear, go outside for a bit and calm down."

It took them a good hour or so to finish. By the time Hershel reappeared, we had all gathered and were waitin'.

"How is she, daddy?" Maggie was calmer but she was still pissed.

"I think she'll be okay but we'll need to keep an eye on her. As for the baby, we'll have to wait and see but I'm sure it'll be fine."

Maggie turned to me, "So help me God, if somethin' happens to my baby sister, I'll kill you myself!"

"Maggie! Now's not the time for this. Go help Carol clean her up and get her to bed. She'll be on bed rest until further notice. Rick, I need to have a word with you."

I nodded and followed him. He stared at me as we walked out of the cell block. He finally spoke after a few minutes. "If she is still pregnant, I don't want her goin' on any more runs. You know I trust you with my life and with the lives of both my girls but Bethie is just a kid herself and now she has to raise one in this world." He paused and shook his head, "you put her in danger carrying her out today. I was against her goin' but I agreed to it because I thought she would be safe. Beth is too fragile and now she's in more danger because of this pregnancy. If there's somethin' I need to know, then you need to tell me now."

"Hershel, all I know is, she's gonna need all of us. Especially you and Maggie. Other than that, there's nothin' I need to tell you."

"Bethie is my child and I love her more than anything. I know she's goin' to need us but I do not approve of this pregnancy. I don't approve of it or the lyin' and secrecy that has come with it. So until she decides to tell us the truth, I will not...I don't want to see her in that condition. I refuse to see her like that."


	16. Sin

**Rick-**

I couldn't sleep. The cell block was almost silent except for the sounds of Beth throwing up. I listened to see if anyone went to check on her but I didn't hear anything, so I got up.

When I reached her cell, she was sitting on the floor with a small trash can in front of her. I got pissed off because no one was with her. Hershel and Maggie should've been there, she needed them. But I wasn't surprised, it's been this way for the past three weeks, since they found out about her. Everyone has been avoiding Beth because she refuses to tell them who the father is. The only time anyone interacts with her is to check on her bandages and Judith.

I couldn't just leave her there alone, it's my fault she's in this situation, so I went in and sat in front of her, leaning against the bed. When she was finished, I grabbed her arm and pulled her onto my lap sideways. "Shh...Shh...everything's gonna be alright, Bethie," I whispered as she began to cry. I started rubbing her arm with one hand to comfort her and I softly massaged her temple with my other hand. She started to settle down and laid her head on my shoulder.

"Go to sleep, Beth, you need it. Okay? I'm not goin' anywhere."

She nodded in agreement. It wasn't long until we both fell asleep.

I was awoken by the sound of crutches shuffling into her cell.

"What's goin' on here?", Hershel asked.

I looked at Beth then at him. "You tell me. She's in here sick and you and Maggie won't even try to help her. That's what I'm doin'."

"Bethie made her bed and she was willing to lie in it. Now, she has to learn how to deal with the consequences on her own. Until she tells us the truth, tell us who the father is, we won't help her. _If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness_."

When he left, I looked back down at Beth and shook my head, I know they need to know everything but she trusted me and I'm not breakin' it. _I'll have to discuss it with her when she wakes up,_ I thought to myself. I leaned my head back and fell asleep.

I don't know how long we slept but I couldn't wake the poor girl up and Lord knows I needed the sleep too.

I was once again woken up, this time by someone kickin' my boot.

"I brought y'all some lunch," Carol said.

"Thank you. You can put it on the table."

She sat down and reached to pull Beth's hair out of her face, "I fixed her some oatmeal. Maybe she'll be able to keep it down. Rick, I heard what Hershel said to you this morning. I know that's not the reason he and Maggie won't come around her."

"Seems to me like they think that's a good enough reason."

She shook her head, "That's not the reason, Rick. They're mad at themselves, they both wanted to protect her and keep her from finding out how hard things really are now. Maggie's afraid to acknowledge Beth being pregnant because of Lori. She's afraid she'll lose her sister the same way. And Hershel, Hershel's afraid of that too but he also feels like he failed her somehow. He thinks he kept her too close and that drove her away. But that's not true, is it? She's just a kid who made a mistake."

I nodded my head.

"Well, I'm gonna go check on everyone else. Glenn and Maggie left early to get some formula, they should be back later. Um..when she wakes up, let me know. I wanna talk to her about some things."

"Okay."

"Oh, by the way, Andrea's pissed. You were supposed to be on watch with her this morning but you didn't show. She thinks you're shirking your duties."

"She'll get over it."

* * *

**Beth** -

When I woke up, I immediately felt sick but I was too weak to move.

"Carol brought some oatmeal. You need to try eating some," Rick said. I must've looked shocked because he chuckled lightly and handed it to me.

"I...is it time for me to take Judith?"

"No, she's with Carol right now. When you finish eating though, Carol wants to talk to you."

"Okay. Is somethin' wrong?"

"No, she just wants to talk to you about some things. My guess is she wants to pass on some motherly advice. But I wanna talk to you first. I...um...I talked to your dad earlier, he and Maggie are havin' a hard time with this. They wanna know who the father is and why it happened. Are you ready to tell them what Shane did to you or do you not want to tell them at all?"

"I...I don't...I'm not ready to tell them and I'm not sure I ever want to. It...it feels wrong talkin' about it. I just...I don't wanna believe he did that to me."

"I understand. But you need to tell them somethin', otherwise, I don't think they'll be able to accept it."

"I know. I just don't know what to say to them."

He looked at me and rubbed his eyes, "What I'm about to say is just an alternative to telling them about Shane. I've been thinkin'...they already blame me for this, hell, I blame myself too. I just think that maybe, if you want to, you could..."

"Dad!", Carl came running in. "We need your help. Come on. Hurry!"

"We'll finish this later, okay?"

I nodded and finished eating. God, I am so confused. I'm actually beginning to think maybe this baby isn't such a bad thing. At first I had regretted my decision to keep it after seeing daddy and Maggie's reactions but now I actually want it. Regardless of what they think.

Suddenly, there was a loud bang. I jumped up and hurried to the common room.

"Carol, what's goin' on?"

"I'm not sure, sweetie. Here, take Judith to your cell and stay there."

I took Judith and started back to my cell when Carl came in followed by Rick and Daryl who were carrying a woman.

"Beth, go to your cell. Now," Carol said sternly.

I went back to my cell but I could still hear them. I tried to listen but Judith's cries were too loud so I tried to calm her down instead.

"Beth?"

"Hey Carl. What's goin' on out there?"

"That lady brought baby formula."

"So? Wait, how'd she know there was a baby here?"

"Maggie and Glenn went on a run. She said some guy was tryin' to kill her but she escaped. He took Maggie and Glenn back to some guy called 'The Governor'."

Tears rolled down my face and I held Judith tight. "Maggie and Glenn are gone?"

"He took them to some town called Woodbury. She's tellin' dad and everyone about it now. Ya wanna come down there with me and listen?"

"Yeah."

I followed him and we sat at a table off to the side while we listened. I was too worried to pay much attention to everything that was said but I heard enough.

"If this guy is as bad as you say, maybe it's not worth the risk to get our people back."

"Are you crazy? You can't just leave them! Maggie is my sister! They both belong here, with us. They're family. You can't leave them!", I yelled. Everyone was silent.

"Beth, if Michonne is right and we go after them. There's a chance none of us will make it back," Rick said.

"Fine. If you won't go get them, then I will."

"Beth!" I heard all of them hollerin' after me as I raced to my cell. I put Judith down and grabbed my knife and gun. If they won't go get them, then to hell with 'em. I'm not gonna leave my sister there. Especially if everything that Michonne woman said was true.

"Beth," Rick grabbed me. "You're not goin' out there," he said roughly.

"Watch me!" I pushed past him and made my way out of the cell block and out of the prison, towards the gate.

"Beth, damn it! You're pregnant! Do you have any idea what could happen to you out there.", he was following me closely.

When I didn't answer or stop, he grabbed my arm tightly and turned me around. "Damn it. Listen to me! You are not goin' anywhere. Get your ass back inside."

"No! I'm not leaving her. I don't care what y'all say and I know what could happen to me but I don't care. No one else cares either. Now let go of me."

"That's not true, Beth." He loosened his grip on my arm but didn't let go.

I shook my head. "I'm goin' and you can't stop me."

"I'll go," Daryl said as he approached us, "I'll take Michonne. We'll bring Maggie and Glenn back."

"It's not safe." Rick told him.

They stared at each other for a minute.

"Fine. We'll go but we can't just go bustin' in. We need to have a plan." Rick looked back at me. "Now will you please come inside and settle down?"

"You promise you'll bring them back?"

He nodded, "I promise, Beth. Come back inside and we'll all discuss how to get them back."

When we got back inside, we all gathered in the common room and listened as plans were made. I suddenly felt sick and ran back to my cell.

* * *

**Rick** -

"Michonne, do you think you can get us in there without too much damage?"

"I can try but it won't be easy. They're heavily guarded and The Governor is crazy."

"That'll have to be good enough, I guess. Daryl, Andrea, y'all are comin' with me and Michonne. Hershel and Carol, y'all stay here with the kids. If anything happens and we don't return, get what you can into one of the trucks and leave. Don't try to stay here."

"When do we leave?", Andrea asked.

"It'll be better if we go at night. We may risk running into more walkers but it'll give us the upper hand because they won't be expecting it," Michonne told her.

"I agree. We'll leave around noon tomorrow. After we make sure everything around here is secure. But for now, anyone got anything the wanna add?"

"No," they all said, almost in unison.

"Okay. Everyone get some rest. We have a long day ahead of us. Carl, come with me. I wanna talk to you."

We walked outside to the guard tower to take first watch.

"When we're gone, Carol and Hershel are in charge but I want you to stick with your sister and Beth. Make sure they're safe. If by chance anything happens to Carol and Hershel, you get the girls out of here. You understand?"

"Yeah. You want me to babysit them," he said sarcastically.

"Not babysit, protect. You protect them. No matter what, protect them."

He nodded, "Okay. I'll protect them."

"Go get some sleep, you'll need it."

I wandered around the guard tower aimlessly. Looking out at the walkers only served as a reminder that I wouldn't be able to protect my family forever. Hershel is an old man, if the walkers don't get him, age will. Daryl, Andrea and Carol could take care of themselves and so could Maggie and Glenn. But Carl and Judith are still so young, they shouldn't have to know this life and yet this may be what takes them from me. And then Beth and the baby, so many things could go wrong there. Maggie was right, she could end up like Lori or worse, a walker could get her before she has the baby. I shouldn't be thinkin' about all this stuff, they're all my family and I couldn't live without them.

"Rick?"

"Beth? What the hell are you doin' out here?"

She shrugged, "I couldn't sleep."

"Still throwin' up?"

"Yeah."

"When we get back, we'll make a run and get you somethin'."

"Okay. Rick, I'm sorry for how I acted today. It's just...Maggie is my sister and..." she started cryin'.

"Hey, don't cry. I should be the one apologizing. But you can't ever go out on your own. Come here," I pulled her into a hug, "I promise everything will be fine. Don't worry about anything."

"I can't help it. So many things are goin' wrong."

I rubbed her back, "I know, baby, I know. We're all worried about things. You need to go back to bed. It's not good for you or the baby, you need sleep."

"I can't sleep. I've tried," she looked up and was still cryin'.

"Come on." I grabbed a blanket, walked out onto the walkway and sat down pulling her into my lap like the night before. She rested her head on my shoulder and I covered her with the blanket.

"Hmm...," Carol cleared her throat, "your shift is up. Why's Beth out here?"

"She couldn't sleep, said she felt sick. Are you doin' your shift alone?"

"Yes, everyone needs their rest for tomorrow." She looked at Beth, "do you need help carrying her in?"

"No, I got it. If you need anything, come get me."

She nodded and gave a worried smile.

* * *


	17. On the Other Side

**Beth-**

When I woke up, everything was quiet. The cell block and common room were empty so I went outside. Daddy was sittin' at a table with Carl and Judith. He was reading the Bible to them and Carol was washing clothes.

"Hey Carol!"

"Hey sleepyhead," she smiled.

"Everyone's already left?"

"Yep. You missed them. How're you feelin'?"

"I'm feelin' okay I guess."

"Well, you also missed breakfast and lunch, are you hungry?"

"Ugh...no. Not really. I don't even wanna think about food right now."

She smiled, "I remember that feelin'. You do need to eat. Try eating a granola bar. That'll be better than nothin'. It'll get better though."

"I sure hope so."

"Beth, I wanted to talk to you. I'm worried about you, sweetie."

"Why are you worried? Is it because of what happened with Lori?"

"Well yes, that's one reason. Another is, it's not gonna be easy for you. You have good mothering skills but taking care of Judith...taking care of a baby and giving birth are two very different things."

"I know that."

She let out a small laugh, "Of course I know you know that but I want you to know what you should expect. Morning sickness is just one of many things you're going to experience...," she continued on for a while but I was barely listening.

She laughed, "Bethie, you look a little scared. What's wrong?"

"I think there's somethin' out there," I said pointing towards the tree line.

She looked out, jumped up and ran over to daddy, I followed her. "Carl, go inside with Beth and Judith," she said.

We hurried back inside.

* * *

 **Rick** -

According to Michonne, we're about 3 miles from Woodbury. We left our car a few miles back, pointed in the direction of the prison for a quick escape. Michonne had drawn out a map of Woodbury and began pointing out the places The Governor may be holding Maggie and Glenn.

"This is The Governor's apartment. He has almost the whole building to himself so that's one place he could be holding them. Another is here," she pointed on the map, "it's where they keep all of their artillery. It'll be heavily guarded and a hell of a lot more difficult to get into than his apartment building."

"We could do this another way," Andrea said.

"There is no other way." Michonne told her.

"Yes there is. This Governor guy doesn't know us. We could walk in and act like we need help while we scout the place."

Michonne looked at all of us, "Once your inside those walls. He will not let you leave. He'll tell you you're free to come and go as you please but the moment you leave, he declares you a terrorist and sends people after you. To kill you."

"Andrea, we're not changing our plan. We discussed everything back at the prison and it's too late to go back on it," I told her.

She crossed her arms and looked down, "Fine."

"Michonne, please continue."

"I think they'll be in his apartment building. It's likely he'll have them somewhere there's no risk of someone coming across them and that's the place. We'll need to split up though. Someone needs to cover their artillery shed to make sure they can't retaliate, while the rest of us search his home."

"Okay. Daryl, you're with Andrea. Y'all will cover their artillery shed. Michonne, you'll be with me. We'll go in and search his home for Maggie and Glenn. We all agree on this?"

"Yeah," they all said.

"Then well make our move at dark. We only have a couple hours of light left so we'll start moving closer to get a better look at what we're up against."

We continued on and just before the sun completely set, we split up. Daryl and Andrea headed in the direction of the artillery shed and Michonne and I went around to the woods by the back of the buildings to wait. We wanted the town to settle before we went in.

We sat there in silence waiting for the town to grow quiet.

Finally, Michonne looked at me and motioned for me to follow her. We quietly entered the town and quickly made our way into the apartment building when we heard gunshots.

"Who the hell are you?" We were spotted by one of the guards. He and two more men approached us. They looked at Michonne and laughed, "Oh, The Governor is gonna have a fine time with you," one of them said.

* * *

 **Beth** -

Carl, Judith and I were in my cell when we heard daddy and Carol's voices enter the common room.

When we came out of the cell block, we saw they were not alone.

Carol looked at us and gave us a smile, "Beth, Carl. This is Sasha and Tyreese. They're looking for a safe place to stay. We're gonna let them stay in the common room until the others return."

"Hi," I smiled to them.

Sasha walked over to me, "Oh my. You have a baby! She's so cute. It's been a long time since I've seen a baby," her voiced cracked. I couldn't tell if it was out of sadness or joy.

"Um..she's not mine. I just help take care of her."

"Oh...I'm sorry. I just thought..."

"No worries. It's fine," I smiled slightly.

"What's her name?"

"Judith," Carl said before I had a chance to. Taking a step to stand between me and Sasha, he crossed his arms and said, "She's my sister."

Sasha nodded and smiled. "We didn't mean to scare anyone. After where we've been, we're just looking for somewhere safe."

"If you don't mind my askin', where were y'all before you came here?"

"We were in a town called Woodbury. We had to leave, it wasn't safe there," said Tyreese.

Daddy, Carol, Carl and I went blank and stared at them.

"I assume you've heard of Woodbury," Tyreese continued. "How do y'all know about that place?"

"We don't know much. All we know is that someone from there took some of our family," Carol said.

* * *

 **Rick** -

We lowered our guns when we saw Daryl and Andrea peeking around a corner behind the men. Daryl nodded his head once and took one out one of the men with his crossbow, then Michonne and I got the other two.

We pulled them into an alleyway before we continued into the building.

"They'll probably be in the basement but we need to make sure no one's around." Michonne said as we navigated our way through the dark halls. We cleared them and The Governor's apartment but found that no one was around so we started towards the basement.

As we approached the final corridor, we heard two voices but couldn't quite make out what they were saying. One sounded vaguely familiar to me but I didn't recognize the other.

"That's The Governor and one of his henchmen." Michonne told me.

Then another familiar voice joined in. Two familiar voices and I couldn't place them.

I pulled Michonne into a room when the three men headed our way. We waited until we were sure they were gone before proceeding down the corridors. The further we went, we could hear screaming and the moaning sounds of walkers. We decided to split up to search the rooms.

I opened the door to one of the rooms, then everything went black.

* * *

 **Beth** -

Sasha and Tyreese seemed rather nice. They were willing to abide by our rules until the others came back. Tyreese ended up taking watch with Carl while Sasha help Carol fix supper.

I walked over to daddy, "Daddy, can you please hold Judith for a minute so I can fix her a bottle?"

He looked up at me and without saying anything, he took Judith out of my arms. I heard Sasha gasp when I turned around.

When I walked by I heard her whisper to Carol, "Is she pregnant?"

Carol narrowed her eyes and lowered her head a little, "Yes, she is. But it's not something we all talk about. Especially not in front of her father. He doesn't approve of it, yet."

"Oh," was all she said after that.

After Judith was fed, we ate and fixed plates to carry to Carl and Tyreese. Carol was going to take them to the tower and start watch with Sasha but I could tell she was tired.

"Carol, I can take your place if you wanna get some rest."

"I'm fine, Bethie."

"No, I insist. Please let me take your place. Sasha will be there with me. I can't sleep anyway so I might as well help out."

She looked at me with a slightly worried expression, "I've noticed you can't seem to sleep unless you're with Rick."

Daddy looked at me and shook his head in disappointment.

* * *

 **Rick** -

My head was pounding.

"Rick!"

"Maggie," I groaned.

"Rick, oh my God. I'm sorry. I thought you were someone else," She helped me up, "how did you get here?"

"Someone told us y'all were bein' held here."

"Who all's here?"

"Me, Andrea and Daryl. Do you know where Glenn is?"

She shook her head, "No. He was in the room next to me but they took him somewhere else."

I rubbed my head and looked around the room, "You okay?"

She nodded, "I'm fine."

"Okay, let's see if we can find him. Stay close."

She nodded again.

We walked silently through the corridors, looking into every room but we couldn't find Glenn.

Suddenly, there was a loud explosion, close enough it shook the whole building.

"Glenn! Glenn!" Maggie called out, hoping for an answer.

"Maggie?!", we heard someone scream out but we couldn't tell where it came from.

"It's Glenn," she said grabbing my arm, "we have to find him."

"We will."

We searched everywhere we could finally coming to a room that was separated from the others.

Michonne was fighting off walkers and tryin' to get Glenn's restraints off. He was badly beaten. Maggie and I hurriedly entered and helped her clear the walkers.

"This was too easy," Michonne told us. Maggie and Glenn looked at her suspiciously.

"No time for questions," I said when I saw they were both about to speak, "we need to find Daryl and Andrea and get of here."

We were about to exit the building when we heard screams followed by gunfire. From a window Michonne spotted Daryl, "I see Daryl but not Andrea. I'll go to him. Y'all go out the back and we'll meet y'all."

We headed out the back and towards our meeting spot.

I looked at my watch. I shook my head, we've been waitin' for them for about 3 hours now.

"We should go back," Glenn spoke up.

"No, we're not riskin' it. If they're not here in an hour we'll leave."

"We can't leave them. Daryl is one of us," said Maggie.

"I know but I made a promise to get y'all back and I intend to keep that promise."

Maggie crossed her arms, "Made a promise? To who?"

I looked at her and rubbed my face. She huffed and gave me a "go to hell" look, "You promised Beth."

"And your dad," I said.

She shook her head, "You may have promised him too but you're doin' this for Beth not daddy," she sighed, "She's just a child, Rick. She's my baby sister," she said it almost pleadingly.

I nodded in response.

I kept looking at my watch as time seemed to pass slowly. There was no way we'd get back to the prison before morning.

After about 40 minutes of waiting, Michonne appeared with Andrea. "Where's Daryl?" Glenn asked.

"He's coming. He's not far behind us and...and he's with Merle," Andrea told him.

"Merle? Merle's here?" I asked.

Glenn looked past Andrea as Daryl and Merle came closer, "He's the one who took us and he put the walkers in that room with me." Maggie was silent.

"Officer friendly," Merle smirked.

"Daryl, he's not comin' back with us."

* * *

 **Beth** -

Sasha and I finished our shift a couple hours before sunrise. I was so tired but I knew when we got back inside Judith would be up so I tried to prepare myself for no sleep.

Carol was already up and tryin' to feed her but she was way too fussy.

"I think she wants you," Carol said smiling and handing her to me, "I'm goin' on watch. If you need a break, Carl said he'd take her."

I smiled, "okay."

"Hey baby girl," I cooed and bounced her a little and she settled down.

"You're so good with her. You're gonna be a good mom," Sasha said handing me the bottle Carol had fixed.

"Thanks. I hope I will be."

"Have you picked out names yet?"

"No. I guess I haven't really thought about names. I guess I figured it could wait, especially since I don't know if it's a boy or girl."

"I understand," she said.

We continued talking while I fed Judith.

"Looks like she's ready for a nap," Sasha laughed.

"She's not the only one," I said standing to leave. "Will you come wake me up when the others return?"

"Yeah."

"Thanks."

After a while, Judith was asleep and I could finally rest. It felt like I had just fallen asleep when Carl came running in.

"Beth, Beth. Wake up! They're back," he said shaking me.

I jumped up and followed him out. Everyone was out of the cars and hugs were goin' around. I ran up to hug Maggie but she turned away and rushed inside. I looked around, when I saw Rick I immediately ran up and threw my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. I could feel his hand shaking on my back and when I pulled away, he had a look of shock on his face but I just smiled.

I went back inside to take care of Judith while daddy and Carol talked to Rick. I had noticed that Daryl wasn't with them but I didn't say anything. I didn't want to know if something had happened to him. I just knew he had to be okay and that's the only thing I wanted to believe.

Everyone had gathered in the common room when Rick finally came in. Judith was cradled in my arms cryin' when I started to approach him but I figured he'd want to see her anyway.

He stared blankly at me and Judith, then at everyone else and his fists were clenched. He continued looking around and Judith's cries got more intense. She must've known what was about to happen.

"Rick, this is Sasha and Tyreese. They were lookin'...," Carol was cut off by Rick screamin'.

As soon as he started that, I backed away until I was against a wall and Carl once again stepped in front of me, staring at his dad.

"Get the fuck out. You can't be here..." he kept on for what seemed like forever before storming out.

Carol turned to Tyreese and Sasha, "You don't have to go. We'll clear a place for y'all to stay, until he calms down at least."

Tyreese looked at her, "I don't think he wants us here and I don't think we should stay."

"Tyreese," daddy spoke up, "Rick's not well right now. You can stay. He won't do anything. He simply needs time to get better is all. We all want you to stay."

They both looked at all of us and we all agreed with daddy.

He smiled, "it's settled then. You'll stay?"

After everything, they were settled into a cell as far away from Rick's as possible and we all went about our day. We were all still in shock after Rick's rant but we had to move past it.

I was in my bunk after feeding Judith and putting her down for the night. I couldn't sleep because I kept thinkin' about Rick. The way he looked at me and Judith scared the crap out of me. I'd never seen anyone look so deranged, he didn't even look like that when he lost Lori. This was a new kind of crazy and it was scarier.

I must've gone to sleep because I woke up to someone coming into my cell. I quickly sat up in my bed.

"I didn't mean to wake you. I just came to check on Judith," Rick's voice was a little shaky.

I froze. "Um..okay." I was scared and I know it showed.

He looked at me and rubbed his hands over his face, "Are you alright?"

He reached for my hand but I jerked away and moved towards the wall. I swallowed hard, "I'm fine."

"Beth, I'm not gonna hurt you. You know that, right? I'm sorry for scaring you..." he stopped, "Bethie?" He sat down beside me and I stiffened.

He looked at me for the longest time, then put his head in his hands and broke down.

I knew he wasn't gonna hurt me and he never would but I couldn't help being scared, until he spoke again and I saw the hurt in his eyes.

* * *

 **Rick** -

I could see it on her face, she was scared.

"Bethie, I didn't mean to scare you."

"I know you didn't mean to but you did."

I reached for her hand again, this time she didn't pull away.

"I'm sorry," I said, "I just...when I saw you with Judith, I saw Lori and I keep seein' her. I see her everywhere."

I'm not sure why I told her that maybe it was because I knew I could trust her and I knew she wasn't gonna act like the others would've. I was right. She let go of my hand and put her arms around me. I didn't have to say anything else. She knew what was wrong.

"You have to let go of all your anger, towards her and whoever else you're mad at. Forgive her even if you don't forget. And honestly, I hope you never forget her. Judith needs someone to tell her about her mom, not just Carl. Only you, her dad, can share your memories with her. She'll need it and she needs you."

We stayed in a hug for a while. It was oddly comforting and nice but I had to change the subject.

"Bethie, the other day, we didn't get to finish our talk about the baby. You mind if we talk about that now?"

She pulled away from me, "No, I don't mind."

"What I was gonna tell you is, if you don't want them to know about Shane, right now or ever, you could tell them I'm the father."

"Rick, I...I can't..."

"Just hear me out. I realize that after to today you probably won't want to but I'm in no way expectin' anything from you. I know you need your dad and sister and if that's what they need to hear to come to terms with your pregnancy, then that's what you can tell them. Only if you want to though. But I'm not just offering to say I'm the father, I'll help you in any way I can. I'll be there for you and the baby like it was my own."

"I don't...I don't wanna cause anymore trouble than I already have."

"You won't be causing anymore trouble. But it's up to you to decide. Either way, I'm gonna be here for you. Just let me know, okay?"

"Okay," she smiled a little and then hugged me again, "I'll think about it. Thank you, Rick, for keeping your promise and for everything else."

I smiled back and stood up to leave but she grabbed my arm.

"Please stay," she said.

"I'll stay for a little bit."

I lied down next to her with her head on my shoulder and soon, we were both asleep.

* * *


	18. Judgment Day

**Beth-**

I had been laying in bed awake since before the sun came up. My mind was in overdrive thinkin' about what Rick had said last night. He had offered to say the baby was his and he had offered this without expecting anything in return. But how could I do that? It'd cause more trouble but then again, maybe I would get Maggie and daddy back. But how would they react? Would they accept it or would it make it worse? Isn't that what they wanted though? To know who the father is? Even if I had told them about Shane, I wouldn't even consider him the father anyway, he was nothin' more than the sperm donor from hell. Besides, there is a good chance my baby and Judith are siblings, so why not raise them like they are?

Judith's cries startled me out of my thoughts and I moved to get out of bed. Which meant climbing over Rick and tryin' not to wake him up. This wasn't gonna be easy.

"I'll get her," he said. I wasn't aware he was awake.

"I can get her."

"No, you rest. I'll take care of her."

"Are you sure? 'Cause I don't mind," I told him.

"I know you don't mind but I think I can handle her for a little while."

I shrugged, "Okay."

* * *

 **Rick** -

Everyone was eating breakfast when I walked into the common area. All eyes were on me. Judith was cradled in my arms cryin'.

"I was just about to bring Beth a bottle for Judith," Carol said, handing the bottle to me.

"Thanks," was all I said and I sat down to feed her.

I noticed the new people were lookin' at me nervously. So I stood up and walked over to them.

"I'm sorry about yesterday. From what I was told, y'all are good people. Y'all can stay if you want."

They both looked at me. "Thank you. We'll pull our weight around here. You don't have to worry about us," Tyreese said.

The room slowly cleared out, except for me and Carol.

"Rick," she said sitting across from me, "we're gonna need to make a run soon. I haven't asked for volunteers for it because I wanted to talk to you first."

"What all do we need?"

"Well, we need to go ahead and get stuff for Beth for when the baby's born. And right now she's only been able to keep down oatmeal, I figured we could try to find her some crackers and see if we can get something for nausea. She can barely fit into what she's wearing now so she needs maternity clothes. We definitely need to make sure we have the medical supplies for her and the baby though."

I put my hand up, "Okay, make a list and we'll go on a run tomorrow."

"I already have a list made. I think Tyreese or Sasha should go on the run with whoever else goes. Now that Daryl's not here, they could help us a lot."

"I know they could. I'll go with one of 'em and Carl."

"I don't think that's a good idea, Rick. Carl should stay here. I can go instead of him."

"Okay. We'll gather everyone up tonight and discuss it. Who's on watch?"

"Um...Glenn and Maggie, I think."

"I'll go ahead and take my shift after I put Judith down."

"No need, I'll take her," Beth said, "I think we're gonna walk around a bit." She smiled.

I smiled back and handed Judith to her. "I'll be on watch if you need anything."

* * *

 **Beth** -

The sun felt so warm and nice. Today is a beautiful day and if it wasn't for the sounds of the walkers, I would've been able to pretend we were back on the farm, before all of this happened.

I held Judith tightly in my arms and walked around the yard. Everyone was keeping busy. Maggie, Michonne, Sasha and Tyreese were clearing the fences; Glenn was talkin' to daddy; Carol was washing sheets; Andrea was in one guard tower and Rick was in the other; and Carl was walkin' around by himself. I smiled to myself, we all had jobs to do and we were slowly making this our home.

Judith started fussing a little so I decided to sing to her. I walked over and sat in the cool grass and began to sing:

_"A little bird sang me an early mornin' song,_

_her feathers were white, as white as the snow,_

_so I fell in love and started to roll,_

_searching for that bird that made me love her so,_

_winter was upon us and I knew where she'd flown,_

_far away from what I call home,_

_so I hopped a train and away I was gone,_

_with the snow on my back but my face was warm and I know one day, I will find you,_

_I'll find love, I'll find love, and until then, I am chained to the ground like a flightless dove, like a flightless dove"_

_["White Wings" by If Birds Could Fly]_

Looking down at her, she had fallen asleep and I knew in that moment, I couldn't wait to hold my own baby. It may not have happened the way I wanted it to but I'd love him or her regardless. I just wished daddy and Maggie could think that way too and my mind went back to what Rick had said. I'd made my decision earlier but now I was certain of it.

It wasn't easy but I carefully climbed the stairs in the guard tower.

"Hey Rick."

He turned around and smiled, "Hey, everything okay?" he said looking at Judith.

"Yeah, everythin' is fine. She's sleepin'. I just wanted to talk to you about your offer."

"What'd you decide?" he stepped closer and kissed Judith's head.

"If...if you don't mind, I'd like to do that. Tell them it's yours," I stuttered a little.

He looked at me intently, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure," I nodded my head.

"Okay. We'll talk about the details when I get off watch. If that's okay with you. But I do think it'd be better not to wait any longer."

"Alright, we'll talk later."

He looked down at Judith, "You should go inside and lay her down. I'll come by when I'm done here."

"Okay." I knew I had made the right choice but now I was nervous about what daddy and Maggie would do.

Once I was back inside, I put Judith down and prayed.

"Beth? You in here?" Carl called out.

I stepped out of my cell, "Shh...Judith's asleep."

"Oh, I didn't know. I found a deck of cards. You wanna play a game?"

"Sure. What'd you wanna play?"

"Do you know how to play poker?"

"No. Do you?"

He shook his head, "No. We could play Go Fish or Old Maid."

"Or War? Do you know how to play that?" I asked.

"No but you could show me."

I explained the game to him and we played a few rounds of it and Go Fish. It was nice to play a game and even though it wasn't much, I was glad to see Carl was enjoying it as well.

* * *

 **Rick** -

I rubbed my face, I had no doubts that I had made the right decision by offering to be the baby's father. I meant everything I had said to her. But I know it's not gonna be easy to tell Hershel and Maggie. They wouldn't be happy but they could move on and act like a family again. It was the right thing for them and more importantly for Beth and the baby.

By the time Carol had fixed lunch, I had prepared myself for the talk with Beth. After everyone had ate, they all cleared out and I went to her cell, "Are you ready to talk?"

"Yeah, let me finish changing her diaper. You can start though."

"Okay. Like I said before, I ain't expectin' anything, so if they ask, we'll tell 'em it happened once and that's it. You okay with that?"

"Yeah."

"I don't want them thinkin' I'm pushin' you into anything."

When she was finished she laid Judith down and I saw her hands were shaking nervously. I grabbed her hands.

"Hey, look at me. You don't have to be afraid, I'm gonna be with you for everything," I told her.

She looked up at me with tears in her eyes, "Thank you."

I leaned down and kissed her forehead, "I've already told you, you don't have to thank me. I meant everything I said about helping you and...and our baby," I said.

She started laughing, "That sounds so weird."

I laughed a little too.

"Oh God," a voice behind us spoke up and then shuffled away.

"Carol, wait!" Beth grabbed her arm, "Carol please don't say anythin'..."

"Beth," she said looking at us both, "I won't say anything but you are going to tell Hershel, right?"

"We're gonna talk to him later," I told her, "we were just discussing how to tell him and Maggie."

"Good. Then I won't speak of it to anyone but you better tell them soon," she said walking away.

We went back into her cell to finish talkin'.

* * *

 **Beth** -

"I was gonna ask you, how...how exactly is this gonna work? I mean, with the baby and all," I asked.

"Hmm...well, you're the baby's mother and I'm the father, we'll just have to figure things out as we go. To be honest, I'm not really sure how this is supposed to work either."

"I only asked because of," I swallowed hard, "because we both know there's a chance Judith and the baby really are siblings."

He walked over and sat down next to me, still holding Judith, "You don't need to think about that, neither of us do. As far as I'm concerned, I'm Judith's father and this baby's father, not Shane. You understand? No one else needs to know any more than that. Not even Carl and Judith and certainly not the baby. It's ours."

I smiled and nodded, "Thank you so much for doin' this. I don't like lyin' to everyone but it's easier than telling them the truth."

He put Judith in her makeshift crib and smiled at her.

"Speaking of Carl. He...after Lori...he asked me who the father was..."

"Don't worry about Carl. I'll handle everything with him. But first we need to tell Hershel. You ready to do that?"

"I'm ready."

* * *

 **Rick** -

We walked into the empty common room. "Stay here. I'll go get him."

"Hershel, you got a minute?" He looked up, "I wanted to talk to you. You mind comin' inside?"

When we entered the prison, he looked at me and then at Beth as we all sat down but he didn't say anything so I started.

"Hershel, you wanted to know who the father is and you deserve to know," I looked at Beth.

"Daddy," she said, "Rick's the father."

He was silent. "Daddy, please say somethin'."

"Rick, she's a child. She's my child, my youngest and she's pregnant." He stopped and shook his head. He was obviously shocked and disappointed but he finally continued, "I figured you were the father when I saw you in her cell. You already have two kids, Rick. I expect you to act like a father. You can't treat my little girl wrong. You have to do right by her. Are you gonna be there for my Bethie and help her?"

"I'm gonna be there for her. I care about her and I have no intentions of treating her wrong or leaving her side. I'm gonna do whatever I have to, to make sure she's safe, to make sure they're both safe."

He gave Beth a quick glance, "Rick, the only things I ask of you are that you be there for Beth and your child; and whatever's goin' on between you two, whatever happened, needs to stop. Y'all can raise a child together without it goin' any further. Bethie," he touched her hand, "I'm sorry for everything but you had to tell me the truth. I love you and I will love this baby. It's a part of you." When he finished, he got up and went back outside.

"Wow, that was easier than I thought it'd be," Beth said.

"Yeah, it was. But I don't think it's gonna be as easy tellin' Maggie."

She sighed, "yeah, I guess Maggie is the one we have to worry about."

"Why do y'all need to worry about me?" Maggie said as she and Glenn came inside. She looked at us, "What the hell is goin' on?" She was beginning to sound pissed off.

Beth's eyes were wide with fear when Maggie approached her, "Beth?"

"Maggie, Rick and I wanted to talk..."

"I fuckin' knew it!" She yelled, cutting Beth off she turned to me, "You sick bastard! What the hell is wrong with you?!" She drew back and punched me.

"Shit!" My eyes filled with tears makin' it hard to see when she came at me. She hit me with something and I fell to the ground.

"Maggie stop!" Beth yelled to her.

"Come on bastard, hit me! I dare you!" Maggie yelled in my face, "It wasn't enough that you lost your wife but now I could lose my sister because of you."

"You won't lose her if you start actin' like her fuckin' sister. She needs you. I don't hit women, Maggie." I groaned when she punched me again.

"Glenn, do somethin'! Get her off him!" Beth pleaded.

I grabbed Maggie's arms and shoved her away. "You can hit me all you want but it won't change anything and I'm not hittin' you back."

Beth moved closer and tried to pull her away, instead Maggie went to shrug her off but her elbow connected with Beth's nose and she fell to the ground.

"Beth!" Maggie and I said in unison, rushing to her side. Maggie gasped, she was bleedin' and cryin'.

"I'll get Hershel," Glenn ran out.

"Beth? Come on." I said pickin' her up, she had both hands on her face.

Carol, Hershel and Carl ran in.

"Put her in my cell," Hershel instructed me.

Maggie was cryin', "I'm sorry, Bethie. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to."

Carol helped Hershel tend to Beth while we all waited.

"She's gonna be fine. It looked worse than what it was. Her nose isn't broke. She will be in pain and bruised up though," Carol said, "Maggie, Hershel wants to speak to you. Rick, come with me and we'll get you cleaned up."

"Y'all told Maggie?" She asked.

"Yeah, we told her."

"And?"

"And nothin'."

"Rick, you've been sleeping in her cell and taking care of her. It isn't nothin'. Do you love her?"

"I care about her."

"No. I can see it's more than that."

Carl came in and stared at me and Carol.

"Is Beth's baby yours?" He asked but before I could form words, he left.

"He's protective of Beth," Carol said.

"I've noticed."

She looked up at me, "You don't know, do you?"

"Know what?"

"He isn't just protective of her, Rick. After you told us about Beth being pregnant, I overheard him asking Daryl if you were the father. Daryl said "no" but Carl didn't seem to believe him. He thinks you cheated on his mom with Beth and that's why y'all were havin' problems. I have to say though, with the timeline, I can see where he's coming from. Everyone knows about Lori and Shane, everyone except for Carl. I mean, I get that she cheated on you and y'all weren't exactly "together", we all do, but he doesn't see it that way."

"Shit. I didn't know."

"You'll have to make it right somehow. I don't think he'll take it out on Beth or anything but he's gonna have a hard time with it."

"Rick," Hershel called to me from the cell block, I got up and went to him, "I've talked with Maggie but she wants to talk to you herself. She's with Beth in her cell."

I walked over and stood outside her cell. Beth had Judith and Maggie was sittin' beside her prayin'.

They both looked at me.

"Are you just gonna stand there or come inside so we can talk?" Maggie said.

I stepped inside, "Let's talk."

"Good. Daddy may not have asked you but I want to know, are y'all still sleepin' together? "

I looked to Beth, "No. It was a one time thing."

"So my sister was just a one night stand?" Maggie growled.

"No, I didn't say that. It happened once, she got pregnant and that's it. I've slept in here with her but nothin' else has happened."

"Beth? Is he tellin' the truth?"

"Yes Maggie, he is. Nothin's goin' on."

She looked back at me, "Daddy's said you told him you're gonna be there for her and he's okay with y'all. But I'm tellin' you again, if anythin' happens to her, I mean anythin', I will kill you." She stood up, walked closer to me and stuck her finger in my face, "I'm not kidding, Rick. I think you're way too old for her and personally, I think you took advantage of her. You said it happened once and it better stay that way. If you fuck my sister again, I will cut your balls off and feed them to a walker. But, as much as I don't like what's goin' here I'm willing to try to be alright with it for Beth's sake. Do you both understand how I feel and what I'll do to protect my family?"

We both nodded in agreement.

"Okay," Maggie then burst into tears and reached for Beth, "I'm gonna be an aunt!"

I smiled and Beth started laughin'.

"Do you need me to take Judith?" I asked Beth.

"No, I've got her," she smiled at Maggie, "Maggie's here if I need anythin'."

"If y'all need me, I'm gonna be talkin' to Carl. I don't think he took the news too well."

"We'll let you know if we need anythin'," Maggie said.

* * *

 **Beth** -

Later that night, after Rick announced he, Carol and Tyreese were goin' on a run, Rick and Carol came to my cell. Everyone else was either in bed or on watch.

"Hey Bethie, do you need us to get you anything tomorrow?" Carol asked.

"I don't know."

"Well, if you think of anything you need, let me know before we leave."

"How did the talk with Carl go?" I asked Rick when Carol left.

He sighed, "Boy is pissed but I think he was tryin' to hide his excitement. I think he likes the idea of having a brother or another sister."

We both smiled.

"Do you have watch tonight?" I asked and scooted closer to the wall.

"No," He looked at me then toed off his boots and climbed into bed and I snuggled up next to him. I felt safe there.

* * *

_**-THE NEXT DAY-** _

**Beth** -

The next morning was pretty uneventful. Everyone went about their normal routines, well, as normal as they could be anyway.

Since Carol was on the run with Rick and Tyreese, I was tryin' to keep up her work and occasionally Sasha would keep me company while the others kept their distance.

"Hey!"

I looked up and was surprised to see Andrea standing there. I've barely spoken to her since we were at the farm.

"Hi," I said back.

She studied me for a minute before speaking, "You're wearing one of Rick's shirts."

I shrugged, "Carol gave it to me this mornin'. My shirt hardly covered my stomach."

"I just can't believe he's moved on from Lori so quick."

"I don't think he has," I told her.

"He's sleepin' with you, so trust me, he's over her."

I didn't really like the tone she was using but I continued to be nice, "Yeah, sleepin' is all we're doin'."

"So you're not fuckin' him?"

"No," I wrinkled my nose.

She gave me a short nod and left.

Not long after Andrea left, Maggie walked over and sat down beside me.

She thought for a minute before speaking, "I only have one question, Did he force you?"

"What?! NO! Why would you even think that? Rick is a good guy," I began cryin', her words brought back images of Shane. His hands over my mouth and him touching me. Everything he did made me feel disgusting and sick. Just thinkin' about it made me want to scrub my skin off just to get rid of him. I wish I could forget about it but I can't. He hurt me and no matter how much Rick helped, he couldn't change that and though I knew we were lyin' to everyone, the truth wasn't an option.

"Bethie, I'm sorry. I know Rick's a good man but he's not in his right mind. Have you seen him lately? He wanders around in his own world. We've all seen him talkin' to someone who isn't there. I'm worried about you, Beth. I don't want him to hurt you."

I rolled my eyes and wiped at the tears, "Maggie, I thought you were alright with this."

"No. I said I would try to be alright with it for your sake but honestly I don't think I will be."

I ignored most of what she was sayin', "I better check on Judith."

* * *

 **Rick** -

When we returned, it was almost dark but everyone immediately carried the bags in and dug through them to separate everything. I carried some stuff to Beth's cell and found both Judith and Beth asleep. I intended on leaving the bags where Beth could get to them but I decided to unpack them for her. The noise must've startled her because she jumped out of bed, towards Judith's makeshift crib.

"Oh thank God," she said when she saw me, "I thought somethin' was wrong."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up. We got everything that was on the list. Carol found you some clothes too. She has them though," I said as she began rummaging through the bags. She neatly set everything up and then sat down on her bed.

I sat down next to her and handed her another bag, "I got ya some stuff. It's not much, just what I could easily find."

She smiled as she emptied the bag. There were a few candy bars, chips and books. She immediately opened one of the candy bars and started eating it.

"Mmmm...this is so good!", she sighed.

I couldn't keep myself from laughing a little.

"What's so funny," she asked.

"Nothin', just never seen anyone enjoy a candy bar that much."

She smiled again, "Thank you. You didn't have to get me anything."

"I didn't have to, I wanted to. Plus, Carol told me you were wantin' chocolate so I thought I should try to get you some."

"I was but didn't actually think I'd get some."

She picked up one of the books, "Baby names? I guess I gotta pick one eventually."

"We," I corrected her, " _we_ have to pick one."

She smiled slightly and leaned back on her pillow and yawned, her eyes were slowly closing.

"I have watch tonight so I'll see if Carol or Carl or someone can take care of Judith so you can rest."

"Okay," She said without moving or opening her eyes.

"I'll come check on you when my shift is over," I told her. Before I left, I put my hand on her stomach and kissed her head. She smiled again. I realized then, that I love seeing her smile no matter the reason.

Carol ended up taking Judith for the night.

I had been in the guard tower for a while when I heard someone coming up the stairs. I turned around hoping and expecting to see Beth.

"Beth?" Before I could fully focus in on her, I saw blonde hair and then felt her lips on mine. I pulled back, "We can't do this, " I told her. She kissed me again.


	19. Descending into Chaos:  Part I

**Part I**

****

**Rick** -

I stared into the woods as the sun came up and rubbed my face. What the fuck happened last night? The past three days have been crazy. I shouldn't have let things go as far as they did with her. I should've stopped it.

"Rick, are you okay?"

I turned around, "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Well, it's my turn for watch."

I nodded to her and started to leave but she put her hand on my shoulder, "Rick, tell me the truth, what's goin' on between you and Beth?"

"Nothin's goin' on between us, Carol."

"I don't believe you. I've seen the way you look at her and I don't wanna see either of you get hurt. She's carrying your baby but if it's more than that, you need to be careful."

I left the guard tower and instead of goin' inside, I walked around surveying the prison. It seemed secure enough but so had Hershel's farm. It wasn't as ideal as the farm had been but it was better than being on the road. At least here we had beds, fences and it provided a little security. And most importantly, Beth had a safe place to give birth and didn't have to spend her pregnancy on the move like Lori had. Carl, Judy and the baby would have a safe home.

* * *

 **Beth** -

It's been three days since we told everyone the baby is Rick's and things have hardly changed between Rick and I, if anything has, we've gotten a little closer. One thing that I know has changed though is that I've found myself watchin' Rick. I was curious about what Maggie had said. Was he actually seein' things? Did he really talk to people who weren't there? At first I thought maybe she was tryin' to scare me but then I remembered he told me he had seen Lori. I had thought it was just that one time though. It had me worried. But I wasn't the only one watchin' him.

"What'd you think he's doin' out there?" Carl asked as I walked up beside him.

"I'm not sure," I shrugged, "but whatever he's doin', it's probably best to leave him to it."

We both stood there silently for a while watching Rick disappear into the woods.

"I'm not mad at ya, ya know?"

"What?"

"I'm not mad at you, Beth. I kinda hope it's a boy."

I laughed, "Why's that?"

He looked at me, "So Judith will have two brothers to protect her and I've always wanted a brother."

"And what if it's a girl?"

"I don't know. I wouldn't mind another sister. I'll help take care of them both."

"You're a good big brother. You know that, right?" I smiled.

He looked down and didn't say anything.

"Come on, you can help me with Judy."

* * *

 **Rick** -

I looked out towards the creek and there she was. I had to see her, to touch her again, so I followed.

Just as soon as I approached where she had stood, she was further away and then gone. I called her name but she wouldn't stop, se just kept on movin'.

"Rick." I stopped, she was callin' me.

"Lori? Where are you?"

"Rick." I heard it again.

"Lori," I called out as quietly as I could. She was there. She smiled and I reached for her but she was gone again. "Lori!" I yelled a little louder.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, "Rick, what the hell're you doin' out here?"

I faced him, "I got...things...stuff out here. What're you doin here?"

"Me an' Merle got some things we need to tell y'all."

I gave him a quick nod and we headed towards the prison.

Once inside we gathered everyone up. Daryl began to tell us what they'd learned.

"The Governor is plannin' to attack the prison."

Everyone had their questions.

"When will they come?"

"How'd you know?"

"Not sure when but soon. We were watchin' 'em. Overhead their plan. Seems they're pissed we came in and got Maggie and Glenn. We heard 'im tell people we were tryin' to take Woodbury from 'em. We're here to help. But Rick, I gotta talk to you alone," Daryl said.

* * *

 **Beth** -

We had all gathered in the common room to discuss what had to be done. It was decided that everyone would take watch shifts instead of just the few that had been doin' it. And there were discussions about Merle stayin'.

"I can take watch with Carl," I offered.

"No Beth." Maggie said. "You're not goin' on watch."

I looked at daddy and Carol, "let me go, please. That way someone else can get some rest. That's basically all I've been doin' lately. Someone else should have their turn to rest."

"That's not a good idea, Bethie. You need to be where we know you're safe."

"I'll be with her," Carl told them. They just stared.

"It's not a good idea, even if Carl is with you."

Rick walked back in after talkin' to Daryl "what's goin' on?"

"Beth wants to go on watch with Carl," daddy told him.

He joined everyone in staring at us, "You're not goin'."

"Rick, please!"

"No Beth!" He growled angrily and stepped closer, "you're not goin'."

Daryl pulled him away from me, "Rick, Carl won't let anythin' happen to Beth. I'll keep an eye on 'em."

Rick seemed to calm down a bit but he was still mad, "Fine. But don't let 'em outta your sight." And he turned to leave.

"Rick, you need to stay in here and help us decide what to do," daddy told him.

"I can't. I've got...stuff," then he was gone again. I think we were all worried about him.

A little while later, Carl and I were assigned the afternoon shift with Daryl keepin' a close eye on us.

I guess you could say I underestimated how boring it was to be on watch. We had been in the guard tower for four hours and so far nothin' had happened. Not that I wanted anything to happen, I just hadn't expected this and my back was beginning to hurt.

"Hey Daryl, you mind stayin' with Carl? I'm gonna go inside for a few minutes, I'll be right back."

He gave a nod and walked out onto the walkway.

When I entered the cell block I heard Judith cryin' but when I got to my cell, Rick was already with her tryin' to calm her down.

"You want me to try?" I asked, standing in the doorway.

"No, I need to do this."

I sat down next to them and couldn't help fidgeting.

"Bethie, you're supposed to be on watch. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Just bored and uncomfortable is all."

"Uncomfortable? Is somethin' wrong?"

"No, my back hurts a little but from what Carol had told me, it's normal."

I watched as he continued to try to calm Judith but it wasn't workin' and he looked frustrated.

"Maybe she's hungry."

"No, just fed her."

"Hmm...," I moved back on the bed until I was against the wall, "hand her to me."

Once she was in my arms, Rick leaned back besides me and I started singin'.

_"Here I walk, an empty shell even though It's hard to tell this lonesome hand It's taken it's toll and I just don't know how far it can go Well come down and watch your first step Don't do anything you might regret Cause you're much too innocent to suffer It wasn't all sunny days Picking through your memories Oh the rain came down and you covered me in velvet Oh you covered me in velvet_

_Another turn, another cautious step Will we ever learn just how lonesome can get You caught me running, running away And I just don't know how long I can stay Well come down and watch your first step Don't do anything you might regret Cause you're much too innocent to suffer And it wasn't all sunny days Picking through your memories Oh the rain came down and you covered me in velvet Oh you covered me in velvet"_

_["Velvet" by Stoney LaRue]_

The whole time I was singin', Rick's eyes were closed. When I finished, he opened his eyes and stared at me and Judith, I felt uneasy at first, he touched my cheek. Then he leaned in and gently pressed his lips to mine. When he pulled back, he jumped up, "Shit. I'm sorry, Beth. I...I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry." He left.

I was more than a little confused by what had just happened. He kissed me. But why did he say he was sorry and then leave? Him runnin' out on things was beginning to become a habit and it was starting to irritate me.

* * *

 **Rick** -

Fuck! Why the fuck did I do that? I wanted to but I shouldn't have. Fuck, Rick! It's not right. It's one thing to be the father to her child and another to be with her. I was kickin' myself for what I had done. I know I scared her and she probably won't come around me. Damn it!

"Hey dad, have you seen Beth?"

Shit!

"Yeah, she's in her cell with Judith. What'd you need?"

"Nothin', just worried. She said she'd come back but she hasn't."

"She's fine."

"Dad, I..I don't want her to end up like mom."

I put my hands on his shoulders, "Carl, I promise you nothin' and I mean nothin' will happen to Beth or the baby. We're family and we'll protect her. She's safe."

"I know but..."

"No, no buts. Don't even think about anythin' like that."

He looked down and nodded then looked back up, "Have y'all talked about names yet?"

"No, we haven't. Why?"

"I don't know. I was thinkin' 'bout names."

"Well, why don't you go talk to Beth about names. She's got a book full of 'em. I'm sure she'd be glad to let you help name your brother or sister."

"Okay." He smiled.

Shit, I knew why he was happy, he had told me he wanted things to be normal, like we all do, but he wanted us to be more like a family. The whole thing; a dad, a mom and kids. I know he misses Lori, so do I, but we can't be the kind of family he wants. I'm sure I fucked things up good with Beth.

What the fuck am I gonna do about this?!

"Rick," Carol called as she approached me.

Fuck! I shook my head, can't people go five minutes without wantin' somethin' from me.

"Yeah?"

"I need to talk to you."

"Go ahead."

"No, not here. I need to talk to you alone."

"Okay." We walked around to where the cars were parked, it was the only place that wasn't occupied. "What'd you wanna talk about?"

"You and Beth."

"Damn it Carol, I've already told you nothin's goin' on, nothin'."

"And I've already told you that I don't believe you and I don't wanna see either of you get hurt."

"Why the hell don't you believe me?"

"I don't believe you because of what I've heard."

"You don't fuckin' believe me because of somethin' you've heard?"

"Yeah, because I've caught you asleep while on watch, twice and both times I've heard you sayin' Beth's name in your sleep. And it's not just that, you've fallen asleep while on watch and you walk around here in...in some kind of daze."

"It's not what you think, Carol. I'm fine."

She crossed her arms, "You don't want to know what I think and I'm sure you don't wanna know what the others would think if they heard you. And you're not fine. Passing out while on watch isn't exactly "fine". So tell me what's goin' on and I won't mention it to the others."

Damn it, I rubbed my face in my hands.

"I've been havin' dreams about Beth...about losing her the way I lost Lori. She dies in my dreams just like Lori did and there's nothin' I can do to stop it..but it's not just her, I see Lori there too, tellin' me it's my fault. That I killed her and Beth and...and the baby. I can't lose her...them, I can't lose them."

"Oh my God. Rick, I'm sorry I pushed the subject. I'm takin' you off watch for a few days. With the Governor gettin' ready to attack us, you need to be rested and not worrying about anything else. Go spend time with Beth and the kids. We have Daryl back, he can cover things for a while and with Merle here too, he can help out. I'm sure I can get someone to pull double shifts. Just go rest and be with your family. They'll need you...they do need you."

"No, I'm fine."

"I won't back down from this, now go to them." She stared at me for a while and I knew she wasn't bluffin'.

"Alright."

I waited a while before goin' back into the prison. I wasn't sure I could face Beth and Carl but I had to.

When I entered the cell block, I could hear them talkin' and laughin' before I had even reached her cell.

"I like Alice for a girl." I heard Beth say.

"Alice? Like Alice in Wonderland?" Carl laughed.

"Yes. It's one of my favorites."

I looked in at them, it's like they had completely forgotten about everything outside these walls. That's all I wanted for them, for everyone here.

"I like Alice," I said.

Beth stuck her tongue out at Carl and they both laughed again.

"What about boy names?" I asked before I sat down.

"I like Cody and Beth likes Shawn. Which one do you like?"

"Hmm...tough choice. I'm not sure."

The night went on like this without any interruptions. It felt like everything was normal. Carl was actin' like a doting big brother and Beth seemed extremely happy with being a mom.

At dinner Carol asked for the others to take double shifts and then everyone split up and either went to bed or watch. I couldn't sleep, every time I did I had the same dreams and I couldn't face them tonight, not after everything had been so perfect.

I walked around a bit, I wasn't on watch but I had to keep busy. Even it that meant checkin' up on everyone else.

I was standing on the catwalk when she walked up behind me and put her arms around my waist. It wasn't her touch I wanted but someone else's, someone I couldn't have but I guess you could say I was desperate. I needed a woman's touch but not hers.

"We're not doin' this anymore," I told her.

"Why not? I'm already here and we both want it."

I turned around and shook my head, "No, it has to end here. I don't want you."

"I've played along with what _you_ wanted, Rick. I've let _you_ pretend that I was her now it's my turn to have something _I_ want and _I_ want you to want _me_. Not her...I'm not her...I'm not either one of them, so tonight...please don't call me Lori or Beth."

"It was a fuckin' mistake. I don't want you, Andrea, I never have. What we did was a mistake, it should've never happened." I walked away but she was clearly pissed.

"You'll regret this, Rick."


	20. Descending into Chaos:  Part II

**Part II**

****

**Beth** -

I wasn't gettin' any sleep tonight. It's way too hot and my back is still hurting, worse than it had been earlier today. Needless to say, I probably won't be allowed on watch or to do anything for a few weeks after this.

I layed in bed for a while tryin' to get comfortable but it was no use so I got up and quietly made my way out of the cell block and then out of the prison into the courtyard. When I stepped outside, a cool breeze rushed over me and I closed my eyes. It felt wonderful and it was a beautiful night. The stars were out and it reminded me of being on the farm. Despite the sereneness of it, it was still a little scary but it's not like I would be completely alone out here, I knew who was on watch and I could scream for help if anything were to happen.

I tried sittin' at one of the tables but I couldn't sit still so I started walkin' around, never gettin' close enough to the fence for a walker to notice me.

"Beth?"

I jumped when someone called my name, "Yeah?"

"Beth, what're you doin' out here by yourself?" Andrea asked.

"Just walkin' around. I couldn't sleep."

"Me either," she said, "You want company?"

"Sure," I smiled. It would be a lot less scary with someone to keep me company.

We walked around laughin' and talkin' about our lives before this. It was nice havin' someone to talk to so we kept walkin' until we came close to the back of the prison.

"I don't think we should walk any further. We're pretty far from the guard towers," I told her.

"We've cleared the fences back here and someone's supposed to be watching the perimeter. It'll be fine."

"Okay," I replied a little unsure but I trusted her.

We walked a little further and then I felt somethin' hard against the back of my head, I swallowed.

"You see the hole in the fence," she pointed it out and I nodded my head "yes", unable to speak, "Climb through it. If you scream or run I will stab you in the stomach until that precious baby of yours dies. You understand?"

I nodded my head "yes" again.

"Good. Now move!" She pushed me towards the fence.

Once we were both through the fence, she tied my hands behind my back and put tape over my mouth, "I'll remove these later if you don't try anything." I nodded once more and she pulled me towards the woods.

We walked for what I was sure to be three hours. I was tired. When we finally stopped, I hadn't noticed she had a bag until she pulled out a water bottle and removed my restraints. She held the bottle out to me, "Drink it. The last thing I need is for you to pass out on me."

I drank the whole bottle and waited to see what was next. I couldn't help but start cryin'. "Shut up," she snapped, "you're gonna draw walkers to us."

I couldn't stop as I spoke, "Andrea, why are doin' this? What did I do to you?"

She smirked, "Poor Bethie, always the victim, huh? Don't worry why I'm doin' this, just know you deserve what you're gonna get."

"Where are we goin'?" I asked, tryin' to keep from cryin' harder.

"We're goin' to Woodbury."

"Woodbury? The Governor's Woodbury? Where they kept Maggie and Glenn? Why are we going there?"

She smirked again and laughed, "Yep. That's the Woodbury and we're goin' there because of a friend of mine."

"That doesn't make sense. You can go without me, you don't need me."

"See, that's where you're wrong. I do need you. You're my way in. You see, when we went to get Maggie and Glenn, I got separated and ran into an old friend. I negotiated with them for a place there. All I had to do was help make the prison vulnerable and what better way to do that than take you. You're pregnant, they won't risk your life to save theirs. When I told the people at Woodbury about you, they were willing to spare my life and give me a safe place to stay."

I felt tears runnin' down my cheeks again but managed to choke back my cries.

She pulled m up, "Come on, we're losin' time by sittin' here."

We walked until I felt like I couldn't walk anymore. "Andrea, stop. I need to rest a little."

"No. We have to keep goin'. You can rest when we get there."

"Please, just a few minutes. That's all I need."

"No! Keep moving."

I prayed for someone to come after us as she kept pushing me along.

"Don't you worry, Bethie. You'll be in good hands in Woodbury. There's more than enough men there for a little whore like you."

"What? I'm not a whore!"

"Yes you are," she grinned, "Just like Lori. We all know she fucked Shane too. And here you are, pregnant. Rick claiming the baby as his, just like he did with Judith. Knowing she may not be his and this baby may not be his. I know you fucked Shane."

I felt tears begin to fall again as she continued to talk.

"You know somethin', I was fuckin' Rick but he ended it because of you. Ruined everything. That's when I knew tonight was the perfect time," she looked at me and laughed, "Ya know, while he was fuckin' me, he would call me Lori or Beth. Mostly Beth, though. Sick little game but I played along until he refused to call me by my name instead of the names of his whores. If I had it my way, that little bastard you're carrying wouldn't live but for now, we need you both."

I burst into tears and couldn't stop.

We continued walkin' in silence until we reached Woodbury just as the sun was comin' up.

* * *

 **Rick** -

I woke up to Judith's cries. So I went to Beth's cell.

"Beth?" I called into her cell but she didn't answer. "Bethie, you alright?" Still no answer and Judith's cries were gettin' louder so I walked in and picked her up. I looked to the bed and Beth wasn't there, I figured she had gone to fix a bottle so I walked to the common room only to find Carol there.

"Where's Beth?" She asked and handed me a bottle.

"I was just about to ask you the same thing."

She looked up, "She wasn't in her cell?"

"No. I thought she was in here."

We both went into a panic. Carol went out to the guard towers and I woke everyone in the cell block and we all gathered in the common room.

"Where's Andrea?" I asked Carol as she, Sasha, Maggie and Glenn centered the room.

"She didn't show up for watch last night," Sasha said.

Oh fuck. Andrea's words came back to me, _"You'll regret this, Rick."_ What did she do? Was she crazy enough to hurt Beth?

"Rick, what's goin' on?" Hershel asked.

I looked down at Judith who was still in my arms. How do I tell him?

Carol saw that I was struggling so she answered for me, "We don't know where Beth is."

"Where could she have gone?" asked Maggie.

"Do you think Andrea is with her?" Hershel asked.

"We don't know...," Carol began.

"Before we get too worried, we need to search the prison. They may be around here somewhere," I interrupted her.

"Okay then, everyone will split up into groups," Hershel said, "I probably won't be much help so I'll stay here with Judith while y'all look."

"Okay. Maggie and Glenn, y'all search D block; Daryl, you and Merle search the perimeter; Sasha and Tyreese, y'all have A block, the library and infirmary; me and Carol will search the tombs."

"What about me?" Carl said, "where do I search?"

"Nowhere. You stay here with Hershel and your sister. Don't argue about it either."

We split into our groups and began the search.

* * *

 **Beth** -

Andrea handed me over to the Governor's men. They carried me to an apartment, I assumed it belonged to the Governor, and handcuffed me to a chair. When they left, the door opened and a man walked over to me.

"You must be Beth," he said touching my cheek, "Andrea told me a lot about you but she failed to mention how pretty you are."

He pulled a chair up in front of me and sat down, "I bet you're wondering who I am, well, I'm the Governor. Now that we've been properly introduced, let's get on with why you're here. You see, the people from the prison, your people, came in and attacked us and I just can't have that. They also have someone I want, Michonne, I believe you know her, she killed my daughter and she will pay for it with her life. I also want Merle Dixon, it seems he and his brother were spying on us and alerted your people to our plans to retaliate. Though I'm guessing they won't be too eager to turn them over to me, so, that's why you're here, for security and a trade. But...," he paused and smiled, "You're not here just for us to make a trade. You're here for our entertainment."

He stood and walked over to a table, "I'm gonna have some fun with you before I let my men work you over. This is to insure they know who they are dealing with."

I heard him unbuckle his belt and I closed my eyes. I would scream for help but it wouldn't do any good, everyone here is on his side. I was terrified.

I could feel him standing in front of me, "Open your eyes." When I did, he knelt down, "We're gonna have some fun." He proceeded to take off the handcuffs, he pulled me up and towards the bedroom and then pushed me onto the bed. After he tied my hands to the headboard, he grabbed my face and kissed me roughly, "It's a good thing you're pregnant, I can really enjoy this." My eyes were tightly closed as he began to take off my clothes. When he entered me, they shot open again and I cried out, "Please stop! Please!"

He laughed, "you better enjoy this, whore. My men won't be so gentle with you."

I held my breath until I passed out.

* * *

 **Rick** -

"Do you think Andrea took Beth? To hurt her?" Carol asked.

Hours later and we had all searched the prison and made our way to the common room, none of us found anything.

"It's possible," I told her, tryin' not to think about what could be happening.

"We found tracks," Daryl announced, we all looked hopefully at him, "They were together. Followed 'em as far as we could but lost 'em on the road. Didn't find anythin' after that."

Maggie looked at me, then back to Daryl, "We were on watch. How did they get out of here?"

"Looks like they went out the back, where the fence is busted up. Their tracks went to the woods an' around the prison. Stayin' outta sight, they walked through the woods a little ways before gettin' on the road."

"What'd we do now?" Carl asked.

"Well," Carol spoke, "we don't know where they are or where they're goin'. There's really no way to tell."

"We wait 'til mornin' then we set out to the town we've scavenged. See if they're there," I said, "it's too dark to search now."

* * *

 **Beth** -

After the Governor had finished with me, he carried me to a room down the hall. The windows were boarded up and the door was locked from the outside. The room was dark except for the light from a small candle and there was a bare mattress on the floor.

I curled up in a corner cryin' and prayed to God like I never have before. I begged him to make it stop, to make this all a bad dream. I wanted so bad for the others to find me. I wanted daddy, Maggie and Rick.

That night I was left alone for a while before several of the Governor's men took turns with me. I was thankful they all wanted nothin' more than to beat and torture me. I'd gladly take that over them raping me. But each time I fought back or cried out for them to stop, they hurt me worse.


	21. Chaos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING : This chapter may contain triggers for abuse, rape, kidnapping and other things.

_ **WARNING : This chapter may contain triggers for abuse, rape, kidnapping and other things.** _

* * *

 

 **Rick** -

It's been a week since Beth and Andrea disappeared. We've searched the woods and nearby towns daily and haven't found a damn thing. No signs of them anywhere. We were all a wreck and livin' on little to no sleep. If we weren't on watch or clearin' the fences, we were in the woods or towns searchin' for them.

* * *

 **Beth** -

I can barely move. My body hurts all over and I'm weak.

I was once again curled up in the corner, away from the mattress, when the Governor came in.

I whimpered as he touched my face, "Shh..there's no need for you to cry. Tomorrow, if all goes well, you will be with your family. But tonight, I'm gonna have a little more fun with you, then there's someone who has waited patiently for his turn with you. So don't let him down."

He stood up and I heard his belt unbuckle again.

"Why are you doin' this to me?" I cried. He didn't answer. I cried for him to stop but he wouldn't, instead he drew back and punched me.

When he had finished, he grabbed my face and forced me to look at him, "We needed your people to be on edge, to be distracted. I'm sure they've been lookin' for you nonstop and that works to our advantage. Their defenses will be down. That's why I've done this."

"You've gotten what you wanted from me. Did Andrea get what she wanted?"

He gave a creepy smile and laugh, "No. How could I have her here when she betrayed your people to save her own life? No doubt she'd do it again, to us, if something better came along. I can't have people like that here. Now, you just rest up a little, someone will be coming for you shortly. Be sure you show him a good time."

Not long after the Governor left, I heard keys unlocking the door. The candle that was in the room had long since burned out and the room was completely dark but I closed my eyes begging for it to be even darker. I didn't want to see this mans face. I knew he would probably have a light but I wanted complete darkness.

I sat in the corner with my eyes closed as he opened the door.

"Well, well, well. Little Bethie Greene is here," he said, "Havin' fun, sweetheart?"

I froze and squeezed my eyes shut. I knew that voice. How could he be here? I had to be dreaming.

"Open your eyes and stand up."

I didn't move.

"I said, open your eyes and stand up," he growled angrily.

I still didn't move.

Suddenly I was jerked up by my hair and my eyes opened when he slapped me.

"That's better," he said, "look at you. Pregnant. What are you, 5, 6 months now?"

He kept one hand in my hair and the other moved to touch my stomach. My whole body shook with fear.

"I hear Rick has claimed this baby as his own. Is that true?"

"Yes," I whimpered.

"Such a shame. He tries to kill me and claims to be the father to both of my kids," he laughed.

His hand gripped my hair tighter as he pulled me over to the bed and I cried harder than I had been.

With one quick move, he started kicking me over and over again until I couldn't breath.

"Why are you hurting me, Shane?" I was tryin' to catch my breath, "All of them, and you, could've killed me and...and your baby. Is that what you want?" I hated callin' the baby his but I thought it'd make him stop.

He laughed and climbed on top of me, "No one is gonna kill you or the baby. I want Rick to not only have one but two things to remind him of me. That's the best damn revenge there is, is to drive someone crazy with the constant reminder of what they couldn't stop. What they'll never be."

"Please don't hurt me. Please, Please don't do this. Stop please," I begged and closed my eyes again. I could feel his hands and mouth all over me, like before.

I felt everything he did but I couldn't fight back, I didn't have the strength to. I was tired and sick of fighting. I thought back to life on the farm, before all of this, riding my horse, singin' in choir at church, picnic's by the pond. All of it was peaceful. I willed myself to think of only good things like those while Shane continued.

Then it was over.

The Governor and Shane returned the next mornin' and carried me to one of their vehicles. I was bound, gagged and blindfolded. I knew where we were heading and I hoped they were ready. I prayed the Governor's plan didn't work and they killed him, killed both of them.

* * *

 **Rick** -

Through all of our searching for Beth, we didn't forget about the Governor.

Earlier while out huntin', Daryl and Merle came across some of the Governor's men. They got back just in time to warn us and we were prepared. I sent Carl, Hershel and Judith into the woods to hide out while we got ready for their attack.

Not long after that, we watched from where we hid as the Governor's convoy came speeding towards the prison.

We continued to watch as they fired their weapons, busted through the gates and entered the prison.

They made their way through the cell blocks and into the tombs. We were ready.

The flash grenades went off and walkers swarmed them. Once they were back outside we took them by surprise and started firing.

We watched as they all started to flee.

"We did it," I said, " We drove 'em out."

The others were arguing about whether or not we should go after them when Maggie yelled for everyone to shut up.

"Do y'all here that?" She asked.

"Yeah. It sounds like someone cryin'." Carol said.

We rushed into the yard tryin' to find the muffled cries.

"Beth! It's Beth!" Daryl shouted as he removed a body from atop her.

Everyone rushed to her but when Daryl rolled the body over, everyone stopped and Daryl stabbed him in the head several times before helpin' Maggie remove Beth's restraints.

Everyone reached for her but she pushed them all away and curled up.

Maggie cried when she saw how badly Beth was beaten and Glenn dragged her away, "Maggie, come with me," he said, "we'll get things set up for your dad to check her out."

I knelt down beside her. Her eyes were closed and she flinched when I reached to move her hair from her face.

"Bethie, it's me Rick. I'm not gonna hurt you, baby. I promise but we need to get you inside. Okay?"

She shook her head "yes" and I picked her up.

"Sasha, when we get her inside, can you help me clean her up so Hershel can take a look at her wounds?" Carol asked.

"Of course I'll help," Sasha replied.

Hershel broke down when he saw Beth in my arms.

"Put her in my cell," Carol told me. Then she turned to Hershel, "we'll get her cleaned up so you can take a look at her."

I walked into Carol's cell and layed her down on the bed.

"Please don't leave me, please," she cried.

I held her, "I wont leave you but Carol and Sasha need to come clean you up. We gotta make sure you and the baby are alright. I'm not goin' far, I'll be right out side the cell."

I slid down the wall outside the cell and put my head in my hands. It didn't take long for her to start screamin' and fighting them off. They kept tryin' to calm her down but couldn't. After she was cleaned up even Hershel was havin' a hard time with her while lookin' over her wounds. She was hysterical. She finally calmed down but Hershel had to give her somethin'.

Once we knew she was out, we all convened in the common room and after little discussion, we all thought it was best to go after them to ensure they wouldn't return.

I pulled Carol aside, "Did she say anything? What happened?"

"No Rick, she didn't say a word about what happened to her. She just kept screamin' for us to stop touching her."

"What about the baby?"

"We didn't get the chance to examine her. She was hysterical. When she wakes up, we'll try again if she's calm."

"Okay. I'm gonna check on her before we leave."

She nodded, "go ahead. Just don't wake her up. I don't think she's had much sleep lately."

I silently walked in and stared at her before moving closer. How could someone hurt her? Why did they do it?

Suddenly her eyes shot open and she jumped up screamin'.

I grabbed her, "Bethie, baby, I'm here."

She clung tightly to me, cryin'.

"Just rest, okay. I'll be here when you wake up."

She began to shake as she cried, "No, no, no they'll get me. They'll come back for me. Please don't let them take. They'll hurt me again. Please don't leave. Please."

I rocked her in my arms, "No one is ever gonna hurt you again. I promise. I'll never let anyone touch you."

I hated to ask her what they did though I would have to eventually. "How did the Governor get you?"

"Andrea." Was all she said.

"Bethie, what did they do to you?"

She shook her head and cried even harder.

I made sure she was asleep again before I left. I knew hearing what they did wouldn't help us or her so I didn't push it.

 _"If I ever get my hands on the Governor, the bastard will pay for hurting her. I'm gonna make sure he dies a slow and painful death,"_ I thought to myself. Then there was Shane, I kicked myself for not killin' him back on the farm. Daryl had offered to do it then and I told him it was somethin' I needed to do but when it came down to it, I couldn't.

When Daryl and Merle had come back to the prison, Daryl informed me that Shane was one of the Governor's men. I knew I had recognized his voice when we were tryin' to find Maggie and Glenn but I thought it was in my head.

"Get y'all's shit and let's go," I yelled to the others.

We drove until we came up on some vehicles we recognized as the Governor's. From what we could see, everyone was dead and the Governor wasn't with them.

"Help me!" We heard a woman say from inside one of the vehicles. The door opened and she and Shane appeared. He was holding a gun to her head and yellin' somethin' at us, "You left me in that barn to die 'cause you thought you could have it all, didn't you Rick? Lori, Beth, both of my kids. Whatever happens to me, just know that those babies are mine. When you and Beth look at them, you'll both see me."

I went for him, "They're mine." I beat him until he was unrecognizable then I stabbed him in the head repeatedly. This time I made sure he was dead. Daryl and Michonne had to pull me off him.

"What happened here?" Michonne asked the woman.

"The Governor. He killed everyone after we all told him we had no problem killing biters but we didn't want to kill people...y'all."

"You think he went back to Woodbury?" Daryl asked me.

"Only one way to find out," I told him.

It was dark when we finally made it to Woodbury. We were told by several of the guards that the Governor wasn't there but we searched just to be sure.

We did find Andrea's body torn to pieces by walkers in the same room where he had held Maggie.

We explained to everyone why we were there and we offered to let them stay at the prison. They were all willing to come with us so Michonne and Karen helped them load up into a bus.

When we arrived back at the prison the next mornin', Daryl, Michonne, Tyreese and Sasha showed the people from Woodbury to a cell block. Before I had the chance to explain to the others why they were there, Carol rushed me inside.

"Beth's been hysterical since she woke up. We managed to examine her and everything seems fine with the baby but we can't get her to settle back down. Hershel's in there with her now. She's still in my cell."

I nodded but didn't say anything. I could hear Carol, Maggie, Glenn and Carl talkin' and as I approached Carol's cell, I could hear Hershel tryin' to calm Beth.

He looked up when I put my hand on his shoulder, we both gave a quick nod and he left.

I reached for Beth and pulled her into my lap. She fought and pushed me away at first but then quit and put her head on my shoulder. She was still cryin' and shakin'.

"It's okay, Bethie. I'm here. I'm not leavin' you."

She struggled to control her breathing but she finally settled down. I picked her up and carried her to her cell.

"Carl, come here." I yelled to him.

Carl wasn't the only one who came.

"Get Judith's things and put them in our cell. She's gonna stay in there with you a while."

"With me?"

"Yeah, I'm stayin' in here with Beth for a little while. 'Til she's better."

Maggie clenched her fists and Hershel moved closer to me, "Rick, I don't think that's somethin' you should be doin'. Maggie can stay with her."

"I'm not leavin' her alone and I'm sure as hell not lettin' her out of my sight." There was no further arguments made about it though they were clearly not happy about it.

I stayed with her the rest of the day. She was curled up on the bed next to me. Occasionally she would wake up screamin' and cryin' but she would eventually calm down again.

* * *

 **Beth** -

I felt someone lyin' next to me when I woke up, it was dark and I wasn't sure where I was. I sat up quickly and was preparing myself to run when someone grabbed my arm. I stiffened and held my breath, it had to be the Governor, Shane or one of his men.

"Bethie, You alright?"

I let out a sigh of relief when I heard Rick's voice but I couldn't stop my tears from fallin'.

He sat up and pulled me close, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I managed to say.

He wrapped his arms around me, "I'm sorry for everything that's happened to you but I promise I won't let anythin' or anyone hurt you again."

I let out a ragged breath and closed my eyes. For the first time in a week, I felt safe.


	22. Words that Hurt:  Part I

**Part I**

****

**Beth** -

The next mornin' when I woke up, I was still wrapped up in Rick's arms.

"Hey, you feelin' okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, I guess so. Where's Judith?"

"She's with Carl. Him and Carol are takin' care of her."

I raised up, "I wanna see her."

"Well, come on. You need to eat first. Then you can see her." He held out his hand and helped me off the bed.

When we walked into the common room I was behind him holdin' on to his shirt, everyone was staring.

"Oh Bethie," Maggie ran to me, "I'm so glad you're here with us."

She tried to hug me but I backed away shakin', "Please don't."

"Bethie? What's wrong?"

I held my hand out in front of me to stop her, "Please don't...Don't touch me."

"Beth, I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm just so glad you're back."

She reached out to me again but I backed away and ran to my cell. She followed me.

"So what's with you? You can let Rick sleep in here, in the same bed with you. He can touch you and do God knows what else with you but you won't even let me hug you. Beth, I'm your sister. That's what I'm here for, I'm supposed to help you through things and I want to. Why won't you let me?"

"Beth?" Rick said from outside the cell.

"No!" Maggie jumped up, "Rick, you need to leave now. You don't get to be here for her while she's pushin' me away. I'm her sister, you're nothin' but the bastard that knocked her up!"

"I just wanna make sure she's alright."

"She's fine! Now go!"

I was cryin' and shakin' when she came back, "Don't yell at him! It's not his fault!" I told her through tears.

"Beth, what happened? What did they do to you?" She sat down on the floor in front of me.

I just shook my head.

"If you won't tell me, then I'm goin' to get daddy. You fan tell him"

"No, I want Rick!" I cried.

She huffed and hit the bed, "Why do you want him? Huh?" She looked at me but I couldn't answer. "Fine! If you want him, you can have him but you're losin' me! You need help. Whatever happened, fucked you up. So make your choice, family or Rick."

I couldn't believe what she was sayin' and I didn't know how to respond. She took my silence as an answer and left.

A few minutes later Rick came back in. He sat down on the bed next to me but didn't say anything.

"Did y'all kill them?" I finally asked

"I...um...I killed Shane, he's really gone this time. But the Governor, we...we couldn't find him."

"He's still out there," I cried.

Rick pulled me into a hug, "He's not gonna hurt you. I won't let him," he paused, "Beth, what did they do to you?"

"The Governor made me...do things...he raped me. He...he let his men take turns...then Shane," I stuttered, "I begged them to stop but they wouldn't."

* * *

 **Rick** -

It felt like someone had kicked me when she said that, I pulled back from her and cupped her face in my hands.

"They..he raped you?!"

She was cryin' so hard all she could do was shake her head "yes".

I hurried out of her cell with her grabbing for my arm, "Rick please don't leave me. You promised you wouldn't leave me."

I turned around and took her in my arms, "I'm not leavin' you. I'll be right back. Just go back to your cell and I'll get Carl to bring Judith to see you. Okay?"

She wiped her eyes, "Okay."

"Carl, carry Judith in there to see Beth," I told him when I got into the common room, "Hershel, where's Maggie?"

"She's outside with Carol. They're showin' the people from Woodbury around. Is everything alright with Bethie?"

"Yeah, yeah she's fine. Scared is all."

It took me a little while but I finally found Maggie.

"Maggie! I need to talk to you!"

"Is somethin' wrong with Beth?"

"Not right now but..."

"If there's nothin' wrong with her, then you and I have no reason to talk."

"Maggie, stop!" I grabbed her arm, "Beth needs you."

"No she doesn't, Rick. She has you."

"Get your ass in there and act like her fuckin' sister instead of a bitch! She needs you, Maggie." I lowered my voice, "They...they raped her. That's why she pushed you away but she needs you. You're her sister."

"They raped her," Maggie said shakily.

"Yeah."

She fell to her knees cryin', "Oh my God. I thought they just beat her, like...like they did with me and Glenn."

"Maggie," I knelt down next to her and put my hands on her shoulders, "Beth needs you. You just have to be careful not to make any sudden moves and let her know she's gonna be safe with you."

"No Rick. I told her if she wanted you, she was losin' me. I asked her to choose," she cried.

"Just because she wants me around doesn't mean she doesn't want you there too. Please go be with her, I can't right now and she needs someone to be there for her. Don't raise your voice or you'll scare her."

She nodded, "okay."

"Maggie, I'm not gonna hurt Beth."

"I know you won't but she's my baby sister. I just want what's best for her," she said before leavin'.

I couldn't go back in there and face her. It was my fault, all of it.

* * *

 **Beth** -

"Beth," Maggie was standin' in the doorway.

"If you're here to yell at me, you can leave," I was layin' on the bed facing the wall.

"I'm not gonna yell at you, Bethie, I'm done with that."

She sat down next to me but I didn't turn over to face her.

"I know Rick won't hurt you, he's lookin' out for you, like we all are," she continued, "He told me what they did to you. Bethie, I'm sorry for the way I've acted. I'm sorry for everything. I love you."

"I love you too, Maggie."

"If you need anythin', I'm here for you." I flinched when she touched my arm. "I'm sorry," she said before leavin'.

I almost wished she hadn't left. I didn't like being alone, mostly because I felt like I was back in that room, waitin' for somethin' bad to happen. I couldn't even close my eyes without seein' all of their faces and I could still feel them touchin' me.

I was left alone in my cell for hours. Occasionally someone would come to check on me and bring me somethin' to eat but for the most part I was alone. Alone with my thoughts and memories.

It was gettin' dark when Rick came back in and for the first time, I didn't want him there.

* * *

 **Rick** -

"Beth, you feelin' alright?"

"I'm fine," she sighed, "You don't have to stay in here tonight."

"I told you I'm not leavin' you."

She raised up and faced me, "I don't want you in here!"

I sat down next to her, "Beth, what's wrong?"

She shook her head, "I don't want this baby."

I looked at her incredulously, "Wh...What do you mean, you don't want the baby? You were excited about it before..."

"Yeah, I was, _before_. But I don't want anythin' of Shane's. I don't wanna look at this baby and know it's his...or see him."

"We've already talked about this. It's not Shane's. I told you I'm gonna be there, I'm the father."

I reached for her hands but she pushed me away.

"No you're not. You're not the father, Rick. You don't understand, I don't want the baby. I don't want anythin' of his! All it would do is remind me of him and what he did. That's what he wanted. I could never love _it_."

"Beth, please stop. We can figure somethin' out. Let's just talk about it. We can make it work."

"No, we can't. Besides, you don't get a say in this. The baby isn't _yours_ , it's _mine_. But it is your fault! You should've left when daddy asked you to. You shouldn't have stayed! If you had of left, none of this would've happened. Shane wouldn't have raped me, I wouldn't have gotten pregnant, we wouldn't of had to leave our home, none of this would have happened. It's all your fault!" She cried.

Her words hit me hard. I blamed myself for this and she had every right to blame me too. I wasn't mad at her, she was right, it was my fault.

"I don't want you in here," she yelled, "get out!"

"Okay, I'm goin'."

She turned back over and faced the wall. I knew I wouldn't be sleepin' tonight so I went to relieve someone from watch.

While in the guard tower all I could think about was Beth and what she had said. She doesn't want the baby?! What the hell was she thinkin'? What the fuck is she gonna do?


	23. Words that Hurt:  Part II

**Part II**

**Beth** -

I saw the hurt in his eyes and I immediately regretted sayin' those things to him. I don't actually blame him for anything and I never have but sayin' those things seemed right at the time. And the baby, well, part of me wants it but the other part won't be able to forget. I'm not sure about anything anymore.

"Beth?"

I jumped, "Jeez Maggie! You scared me!"

"Well then, I guess that's what you get."

"What'd you want, Maggie?"

"I came to check on you. I heard you screamin' at Rick to get out. Hell, I'm pretty sure the whole prison heard you. Why'd you do that?"

"I didn't want him in here."

"Why not? He's just tryin' to help you and protect you and his baby. He wasn't like that with Lori. You shouldn't push him away. Right now, y'all both need each other."

I scoffed, "Oh, so you're on his side now? What happened to you wantin' to kill him?"

"I don't want to pick sides but yeah, I guess I'm takin' his side on this. It took me a little while but I know now that he's not gonna hurt you and that was never his intentions. He wants what's best for you. So please tell me, what's wrong? Why don't you want him in here?"

"I don't want the baby," I said closing my eyes to fight back the tears.

"Beth, sweetie, you're too far along to do anythin' about it now, an abortion is out of the question. You'll change your mind once you get to hold him or her."

"No I won't."

"Okay, so what're you gonna do? Have the baby and make Rick raise it on his own? That's not really an option, Beth."

"Lori did it. If it was good enough for her then I can do it too."

"Beth!" Maggie suddenly went from caring to pissed off and she was in my face, "You will _NOT_ do that! You're gonna have the baby and help raise it whether you want to or not. You have to take responsibility for your child. I never want to hear you say somethin' like that ever again!"

I gritted my teeth, "I don't want it! Please just leave me alone, Maggie."

"Beth, please don't be stupid and do somethin' you might regret," she pleaded.

* * *

 **Maggie** -

I left her cell and without thinkin', I was headed to the guard tower and hurried up the stairs.

He had seen me comin' and met me at the door, "Is somethin' wrong?"

"No, I wanted to talk to you about Beth. I just talked to her, she told me she didn't want the baby."

"Yeah, she told me the same thing. It's her choice," his face was a mixture of guilt and loss.

"No it's not, Rick. It's your baby too. Besides, she didn't mean it, I know she didn't. She's just upset is all. Her hormones, the stress and everythin' else that's been happening is making her act crazy and lash out at everyone and say things she doesn't mean."

He rubbed his face in his hands, "I sure as hell hope you're right. I can't lose either of them."

"I know, Rick." I put my hand on his shoulder, "I'm sorry for everythin' and how I've acted. I know you'd never hurt my sister. I can see how much you care about her. We're family and as long as you do right by her and the baby, there'll be no more problems between us. When you do talk to her, if you need me, I'll be there to back you up. Lord knows you'll need it."

"Thank you," he gave me a half smile, "I'm sorry for everythin' too."

I smiled back and left him to his watch.

On my short walk back into the prison I started thinkin'. There was definitely somethin' wrong. Somethin' wasn't quite right about this, about Beth and Rick. Their whole "relationship" or whatever it is, didn't seem right. Through all of my anger I hadn't stopped to think about things, to question them about any of it. I had just assumed.

I had never seen them together on the farm. We were all keepin' a close eye on Beth and Rick was always busy. Surely someone would've noticed them sneaking off. When were they ever alone together? Why did she suddenly not want the baby? Why was she pushing him away and why was he lettin' her? I was racking my brain tryin' to find the answers.

Then it hit me, "Oh my God," I said aloud and covered my mouth with both hands. I closed my eyes and shook my head. It all made sense now. Though now wasn't the time to bring it up, I'd have to eventually. They had other things they needed to work out.

* * *

 **Beth** -

The sun was just starting to come up which made me realize I had been sitting in the common room, in the dark, for quite some time. Hours probably.

I was waiting for daddy to wake up. There was now doubt in my mind he could perform an abortion or somethin'. It may not be what someone would want to hear this early but the sooner, the better.

I quietly sat there alone until one by one they all started coming into the room.

When Maggie and Glenn came in, she looked at me and hung her head. She looked as if she wanted to blurt somethin' out but was fighting the urge to.

I was so caught up with watchin' everyone I didn't see daddy sit down beside me.

"Bethie, what's bothering you?"

"Nothin'." I was playing with the hem of my shirt.

"It's something. Are you feeling alright?"

I took a deep breath, "I want an abortion. Can you perform one?"

The look on his face was one of both shock and disgust, "I most certainly will not. Having an abortion now would put your life at risk more than having the baby would. We don't have the proper facilities to do that and I'm not willing to risk your life for it."

I clenched my jaw and took another deep breath, "Fine!"

I hurried out before he could speak again.

I wasn't sure where I was goin' but I needed to be away from everyone and find a way to end this. I was walkin' so fast I ran into someone and fell on my ass.

"Hey there sugar, better watch where ya goin'." Merle held his hand out to me. I took it and he pulled me up.

"Sorry." I started to walk past him but Daryl was in my way.

"What'd you think you're doin' out here by yourself?" He asked.

I crossed my arms, "None of your fuckin' business!"

I heard Merle snort and Daryl just glared at me, "Turn your ass around and get back inside!"

"No," I said and pushed past him. I walked over and grabbed one of the stakes that was used to kill walkers and headed to the fence. _"Until I figure out how to get rid of it, I'll take it out on them,"_ I thought. But before I could open the fence, I dropped the stake as Daryl grabbed both of my arms and pulled me back, "You got a fuckin' death wish, girl?"

"Leave me alone!" I clenched my fist.

* * *

 **Rick** -

I had been watchin' Beth from the guard tower since she ran out of the prison. I decided now was a good time to talk to her so I headed down the stairs. I exited just in time to see her fist connect with Daryl's face.

"Shit," I mumbled to myself and ran over.

Merle was doubled over laughin' hard and Daryl was cussin' while holdin' his nose. And Beth looked like she was ready to kill someone.

"What the hell's goin' on?" I asked her but she didn't answer.

"She fuckin' broke my nose. That's what the fuck's goin' on," Daryl growled.

Merle patted Beth on the shoulder, "Blondie here's got one hell of a right hook." She gave him a look that said it all and he quickly removed his hand from her shoulder.

"I's just tryin' to stop 'er from goin' out there," Daryl grumbled.

I turned to Merle, "Get him inside so Hershel can take a look at him." I turned back to Beth, "We need to talk."

"No we don't."

"Yes we do. I'm not gonna argue about it, now come on."

She looked at me as tears welled up in her eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry," She cried.

Shit, Maggie was right. Her emotions were all over the place. Lori wasn't this bad with Carl or Judith.

I wrapped my arms around her and she buried her face in my chest, "I'm sorry," she kept mumbling.

"It's alright, baby. You have nothin' to be sorry for."

"Yes I do. I'm sorry. I didn't mean anythin' I said to you. It's not your fault, none of it is. I'm sorry," she continued to cry, "I shouldn't have said it, I didn't mean it."

"Beth, you shouldn't be sorry for sayin' what you did. I'm sorry for it all. For not keepin' a closer eye on him, not leavin' when I should have, all of it. Most importantly, I'm sorry for what happened to you, if I could change somethin', that'd be it. But Beth, baby, I really don't want you to get get rid of the baby or whatever you were plannin' on doin'."

She pulled away from me and wiped her cheeks, "I asked daddy if he'd perform an abortion, he said no. That was the only option I could come up with except for...," she stopped, "except for doin' somethin' I don't wanna do, not again." Then she put her arms around me, "It's your baby too. You get a say in whatever happens. If you want me to keep it, I will."

"I want you to keep it but I don't want you to do somethin' you don't want to."

"Part of me doesn't want it but...but I do want to be able to hold my own baby. I've always wanted to be a mom."

"How 'bout this, we'll do this together but if you ever decide you don't want to, just let me know. I'll raise it and you can be Aunt Beth, nothin' more. Is that okay?"

She thought about it for a minute, then said, "No, it's not okay. I actually thought about that before but I knew I couldn't do that. That's why I wanted an abortion. I..I may not want anythin' of his but I could never live with myself knowin' I gave up a child and watchin' him or her grow up."

Once we were back inside Beth talked to Hershel and Maggie. They both seemed relieved that she wasn't gonna do anything.

* * *

 **Beth** -

I wouldn't admit this to anyone but I still didn't want the baby. I wasn't lyin', I just didn't want to hurt them. I saw how Rick, daddy and Maggie looked at me and that hurt me worse than I could imagine. Maybe Maggie was right, I'd change my mind once I held it.

I guess this was an interesting start to a very long and uneventful day but I still had one more person to talk to and who knows how that would go.

"Daryl? Can I come in?" I said standing outside his cell.

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry I hit you. I was just pissed."

He chuckled, "Ain't like you're the first girl to ever hit me but you could sure as hell hit harder than 'em. Who taught you to hit like that?"

I laughed, "Shawn. I almost forgot I could that."

"Just don't make it a habit to go 'round hittin' people, 'specially me. That fuckin' hurt."

"Did I really break your nose?"

"Naw, but it felt like ya did."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't worry 'bout it, kid.." I narrowed my eyes at him, "er...uh...Beth."

I smiled and left.

I was gonna go back to my cell but I heard Judith cryin' in Carol's cell so I went in to check on her.

I picked her up and started bouncing her in my arms as I walked around the small space. I paced a few times before my eyes found the small mirror on the wall.

I gasped and held Judith tightly to me. I fell to the floor and started cryin'. It seems like I've been doin' that a lot and I hated that. It only served as a reminder that everyone was right about me, I am weak and I do need someone to protect me. But after seein' my face, I couldn't make myself stop.

I rocked back and forth, whispering to myself, "I can't do it. I can't do it."

"You can't do what?" Carl asked.

I jumped up and shoved Judith into his arms and ran out of the cell and then out of the prison. Before I knew it, I was runnin' the same direction Andrea and I had taken when I tripped. My whole body slammed to the ground and knocked my breath out. I rolled over onto my back and closed my eyes. I lied there tryin' to catch my breath before moving.

"You alright, ma'am?"

Someone I didn't know was standing over me.

I nodded my head, "Yeah, I'm alright," I groaned.

He helped me up and held onto my shoulders to make sure I could stand before letting go.

"Thank you," I said to him.

"No problem." He smiled and held out his hand, "I'm Zach."

I smiled back and shook his hand, "I'm Beth."

* * *


	24. Maybe, Maybe Not

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter takes place 3 weeks after chapter 23.

**Beth-**

Today I was sittin' on a bench outside the prison watchin' everyone and enjoying how peaceful things were.

My mind kept wonderin' back to two weeks ago when Zach and I had our first conversation about our relationship. It's a little funny to say relationship 'cause at the time we'd only known each other a week.

_I had been sittin' at a table in the courtyard reading one of the baby books Carol had gotten for me when I saw Zach approaching me._

_"Good mornin', Miss Beth," he said._

_I smiled, "Good mornin' to you, too. And I've told you already, just call me Beth. There's no need for the 'Miss' part."_

_He laughed, "Mind if I join you, Miss Beth?"_

_"No, not at all but..."_

_"I know, don't call you 'Miss' but I'm just bein' polite. I wouldn't want to step on anyone's toes."_

_"What'd you mean?"_

_"You're pregnant. I don't want to get in anyone's way."_

_"Zach, we've been spendin' everyday together for the past week. I can assure you, you are not steppin' on anyone's toes."_

_"Really?"_

_"Yes really."_

_"Okay, 'cause it sure seems like I am. Everyone's watchin' me like a hawk. Hell, your sister made it pretty clear you were with someone, she just didn't say who."_

_"I'm not with anyone. Why do you keep askin' me?" I tried to hold back my anger._

_"I'm just curious. So, did you lose the baby's father somehow?"_

_I let out a small laugh, "I'm not with the baby's father and that's it, I didn't lose him."_

_"So is it someone here? In your group, I mean."_

_"That's really none of your business, Zach. Besides, it doesn't really matter who it is. Now are we done playin' 20 Questions?"_

_"Yes ma'am," he smiled._

_"Good, let's go for that walk you promised me we'd go on."_

_We got up and started walkin' around the prison yard. We couldn't go far but it was nice to be out of earshot of everyone else. But still, they watched our every move._

_"Why are you so interested in who he father is?" I asked after a few minutes of silence._

_He shrugged and smiled, "I like you and like you said, we've spent everyday together since we met. I was just wonderin' if you'd like to be more than friends."_

_I wasn't really sure how I felt about him yet but I gave him a smile and said, "I'd like that."_

_He grabbed my hand and held it for the rest of our walk._

Now today I was thinkin' I made a mistake and jumped into it a little too soon. I really do like him but I'm not sure it's the same way he likes me. I kept replaying other conversations in my mind, ones I had had with a few others that had me wondering if Zach was who I wanted to be with.

One conversation in particular that had me wonderin' was one I had with Andrea the night she took me to Woodbury. What she had told me was a little disturbing and it scared me even though I wasn't sure if it was true or not. It probably wasn't but I was too afraid to ask so I tried not to think about it but weeks later that was all I could think about.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I literally jumped when I felt someone's hand on my stomach. I expected to see Rick so I was surprised when it turned out to be Zach.

* * *

 **Rick** -

I was workin' with Carl tryin' to fix a place for a garden. We had been workin' in complete silence for a while until I saw him throw down his shovel.

"I don't like him," Carl said suddenly.

"You don't like who?" I asked and even though I didn't get a response, I knew exactly who he was referring to.

I looked up to see Carl standing there with his hand on his gun staring up at the prison. I followed his gaze and saw Beth. She was sittin' on a bench with Zach and he had his hand on her stomach.

He seemed like a good kid but I didn't like seein' him with her.

"D'ya know she ain't told him the baby's yours?" Carl asked, never takin' his eyes off them.

"What?"

"He asked her who the dad was but she didn't tell him. She told him it didn't matter who it was."

It felt like a knife had gone through my heart but I didn't let it show, "And how do you know that? You spyin' on Beth now?"

"No, I'm not spyin', I'm lookin' out for her and my brother or sister."

"Well, you don't need to. Beth can make her own choices. Just 'cause the baby's mine doesn't mean she is. She can do what she wants."

He scoffed and kicked at the dirt, "Still, I don't like him."

I put my hand on his shoulder, "Don't worry. If he hurts her, we'll all get a turn before feedin' him to the walkers."

A smile crept up on his face and mine too.

Hershel let out a small chuckle as he came closer to us, "I think I'll be the first one in line if anything happens but you'll both get your turn."

* * *

 **Beth** -

Zach and I had been sittin' there a while talkin' but I couldn't stay focused on what he was sayin' and it was beginning to bother me that he kept touchin' my stomach.

"Beth, did you hear me?"

"What?" I really hadn't been payin' attention to him.

"I asked you about the baby. If you had names picked out."

"Not yet. Why?"

"Do you need help with..."

I stood up, "No Zach, I don't need help with anythin'. I already have people helpin' me and they're more than enough."

"Beth," he stood up too, "I'm just askin' if you need help with names. That's it. I'm not tryin' to take over anything. I'm sorry."

"Thank you but I don't need your help. I'm gonna go check on Judith," I turned around and headed into the prison, Zach followed me.

"Who's clothes are these?" He asked after we had gotten to my cell. There was a couple of Rick's shirts folded up on my bed.

I just shrugged, "They're Rick's."

He looked at me confused but didn't ask anymore questions about it instead he started questioning me about other things.

"So how far along are you exactly?"

"I'm not really sure."

"Okay, then," he paused for a few minutes before continuing, "I noticed you seemed a little uncomfortable when I touched your stomach earlier. Why did you flinch?"

"I just don't like people touchin' me. I don't even like Maggie or daddy touchin' my stomach," I said. To be honest though, there's only three people I don't mind doin' that; Rick, Carl and Carol but I wasn't about to tell Zach that.

"What about your cuts and bruises? You haven't told me how you got 'em."

"I haven't told you because it's really none of your business."

* * *

 **Rick** -

"It's startin' to look good," Carol said handing me a bottle of water and observing where our garden would be.

"Yeah, hopefully it'll look better once we get some things growin'," I said, "Did you get a list together of what we need to get on our run tomorrow?"

"Yeah. We're pretty much set on most everything but I have a small list ready for y'all."

I nodded, "Okay."

"Who are you takin' with you?"

"Maggie and Glenn. And I think Maggie was tryin' to get Zach to come with us."

She raised her eyebrow, "That should be interesting."

"Yeah. No kiddin'." I laughed and looked up at the prison, "You know where Beth is?"

"I think she's with Judith."

"I'm gonna go check on 'em," I told her.

She smiled and gave a quick nod.

I was close to Beth's cell when I heard her laugh, I thought she was playin' with Judith until I got closer. I could hear someone else's voice.

I was about to enter her cell when I stopped. She was sittin' on her bed with Zach. They were kissin' and his hands were all over her. I clenched my fists.

In that moment, I wanted nothin' more than to pull him away from her and beat the shit out of him but I couldn't. I froze where I was standin'. I stood there for a minute before slowly backin' away and walkin' out of the cell block.

* * *


	25. Fallen

**Rick** -

I could usually sleep through the night but not now. All I could do was lie here and think about Beth even though she was lyin' next to me.

I'm not sure why I'm sleepin' in her bed after seein' her and Zach yesterday but when I finished my watch shift, this is the first place I went. I wanted to see her and be next to her.

"Rick, are you awake?" She asked sleepily.

"Yeah baby, I'm awake. You need somethin'?"

"Mmhmm, my back hurts. Can you please rub it for me?"

"Sure, roll over."

I sat up when she rolled over and I started rubbin' her back. I continued until I thought she was asleep, then I leaned down and placed a small kiss on her cheek before layin' back down.

I looked at my watch, 4:00 a.m., "Fuck!" I whispered to myself, remembering that in a few hours I was goin' on a run and hadn't gotten any sleep. And to make things worse, Maggie had successfully talked Zach into comin' with us.

* * *

 **Beth** -

When Maggie, Glenn, Rick and Zach left for the run, I sought out Carol.

"Carol, can I talk to you about somethin'?" I asked when I found her.

"Sure sweetie. What's on your mind?"

"Zach."

"Oh, is everything alright?"

I shook my head, "Yes ma'am. I guess it is."

"You guess?"

"Well, I...um...I know I don't love him or anythin' like that and...and...um..."

"And what, sweetie?"

"I don't know how I feel. I'm just kinda confused about it."

"What do you mean?"

"I think we might have jumped in to the whole relationship thing too soon and I'm not entirely sure how I feel about him."

"Are you happy with Zach?"

"Yeah, I am. I like spendin' time with him and everythin' but like I said, I know I don't love him."

"Bethie, talk to him. Tell him how you feel. Maybe y'all just need to slow things down a little and see where it goes from there. You may not love him now but who knows, you may love him eventually. Just take your time, talk to him about this. Okay?"

"Yes ma'am."

* * *

 **Rick** -

"We've gotten everything that was on list and we still have some room in the car, maybe we shouldn't grab whatever else we may need while we can," Glenn suggested.

"Aright, we'll split up and only take what we can carry. We can come back later for more if we need to," I told all of them.

We all split up to search the rest of the store. Maggie and Glenn took off towards the baby section, I took the camping section and Zach went to the groceries.

About 20 minutes later, Maggie and Glenn met me at the car.

"Where's Zach?" Maggie asked.

I shrugged, "Haven't seen 'im."

"Maggie, load everything in the car. Rick and I will go look for him," Glenn told her and she agreed.

We walked back into the store.

"You take the left side and I'll take the right," I said.

After a few minutes, I found Zach.

I crossed my arms when I saw him and what he was lookin' at, "Boy, you really think you need that shit?" I asked, makin' him jump a little.

"Uh...um...yes sir, I do."

"You really think you need condoms?"

"Well yeah, Beth and I are..."

I uncrossed my arms and took a step closer to him, "You and Beth are what?" I clenched my fists and jaw.

"Well...uh...I know she's...she's pregnant but...but I'd still rather have 'em..."

"I'm tellin' you right now, you ain't gonna touch her so you can just put those back."

"Mr. Grimes, with all due respect. This ain't none of your business. Beth and I are both adults. We can do whatever or whoever we want to."

I got in his face, "You will _NOT_ touch her as long as she's fuckin' pregnant or any other time! If you do, I'll shoot you on sight! Do I make myself clear?!"

He backed up and started laughin', "You got a thing for her or somethin'? She's a little too young for you, ain't she?"

I grabbed the collar of his shirt and lifted him a little, "She's pregnant with _MY_ child. You will _NOT_ touch her." I drew back and punched him just as Glenn was approaching us. He grabbed my arm, "Rick, stop! Y'all can settle this when we get back to the prison but not now. We gotta go."

The whole ride back to the prison was silent except for the occasional chuckle from Maggie.

When we pulled through the gate, everyone was waitin' and rushed to the car. I saw Beth walkin' towards me but I moved past her and headed into the prison. Before I went inside I heard her gasp when she saw Zach.

* * *

 **Beth** -

"Oh my God, Zach. What happened to your face?"

Maggie was smiling, "Yeah Zach, go ahead and tell my sister what happened."

He grabbed my arm and pulled me to the side, "Mr. Grimes is the father?" He asked incredulously.

"Yeah."

"Why the hell didn't you tell me?"

"Because it wasn't any of your business."

"None of my business?" He pointed to his face, "Does this look like it's none of my business? That psycho punched me when he saw me gettin' condoms for us..."

I stepped away from him, "Condoms? Seriously? We hardly know each other, Zach, and I'm...I'm not ready for that."

"I understand. But I thought maybe when you are ready, after you have the kid, we could."

I nodded my head, "So, Rick punched you?"

"Yeah, seems like he's jealous or some shit."

"I'll be right back," I headed in the direction Rick had gone.

* * *

 **Rick** -

It may seem crazy but I had been down in the boiler room for a while talkin' to Lori. I had shit to work out and she was the only I could talk to. I know she's not really there but I had to go see her.

When I walked back inside the cell block, Carol stopped me and pulled me into one of the cells, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine."

"You don't look it," she said, "you look like you've been hit by a freight train."

I rubbed my face, "I feel like I have."

She crossed her arms, "It wouldn't have anything to do with Beth and what you did to Zach, would it?"

I looked at her but didn't say anything. What was I supposed to say? Yeah, it's because of Beth, I'm a grown ass man and I'm jealous of her bein' with Zach? I couldn't say that to anyone. They may all be alright with the current situation but if anyone found out how I felt about her, they'd surely kill me.

"I'm not even gonna pretend to know what happened between you and her, how you managed to get her pregnant or what you feel for her but she's found someone closer to her own age, Rick. Give her this, let her be happy with him while she can."

"I'm not gonna stop her from bein' happy, no matter how much I love her." _Fuck! I shouldn't have said that._

Carol took a step back and covered her mouth with one hand and her heart with the other. "You love her?" She whispered.

"Shit," I took a step closer to her, "that's not what I meant, Carol."

"Yes it is, Rick. You love her. Does she know?"

"Carol, she's the mother of my child."

"That's not answering my question. Does she know how you feel?"

I shook my head, "No. She doesn't. Hell, I didn't even know for sure 'til I saw her with Zach."

"What?"

"I saw her in her cell with Zach and then...and then what happened on the run."

"I suggest you keep that to yourself. She doesn't need to know how you feel. She's happy, Rick. If you truly love her, don't get in her way," she walked to the doorway to leave, "You will need to apologize to both her and Zach for what you did though."

I nodded and sat down on the bunk. I sat there for a few minutes before Beth came in. She didn't say anything, just leaned against the bars and stared at me.

"Beth, I'm sorry for what I did. I just..."

She put her hand up, "Shut up, Rick." She pushed herself away from the bars and sat down next to me on the bed, "I don't agree with what you did, you shouldn't have done it. You had no right to say that to him. What I do is none of your business. If I want to be with Zach or anyone else, I will and you can't stop it," she paused and looked down, "But thank you."

I nodded, "I'm sorry. I'm just lookin' out for you."

She was silent for a minute, "Can I ask you somethin'?"

"Yeah, go ahead."

She turned to face me, "Did you and Andrea ever, you know...um...do anythin'?"

"What?"

"She told me about you and her but what she said y'all did, role playin' or whatever...Did you really do that? Did you really call her by mine and Lori's names when y'all were together?"

"Beth, please let me explain..."

She shook her head, "No, you don't have to. I don't wanna know. I don't wanna know why or anythin' else."

"But I...it was somethin' I shouldn't have done. I don't know why I did it."

"No Rick, you do. You know why you did it."

"Beth..."

Before I could get the words out, her lips were on mine. I was shocked but I didn't pull away from her, instead, I wrapped my arms around her, pulled her closer to me and then eased her back on the bed as our kiss deepened.

* * *


	26. One Step Closer

**Beth** -

I was the first one to pull back from our kiss. I had initiated it though I'm not sure why. That one kiss with Rick was so different from the one with Zach.

"You alright?" Rick asked. He had one hand holding himself up off my body and the other on my cheek.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

He leaned his forehead on mine and moved his hand from my cheek down to my stomach. Right when he touched my stomach, we both felt a kick and he jumped up.

We were both smiling. "I think that's the first time I've actually felt the baby kick like that," I said.

He helped me sit up before kneeling on the floor in front of me. This time he put both hands on my stomach and kissed it. "Hey baby, it's daddy," he whispered, "don't be too hard on your mama."

I laughed a little and put my hands on his, "We should probably go help the others out." He nodded and stood up then helped me off the bed. We started to walk out of the cell but stopped. He put his hand on my cheek again and pulled me in for another kiss.

We both walked out of the cell with huge smiles.

It was time for supper and we had all gathered in the common room. I took my usual spot next to daddy and Carl and across from Maggie.

"Why are you smilin' like that?" Maggie asked.

I shrugged, "Like what?"

She glared at me, "Did you and Zach...you know...?"

"Maggie, No!"

"Well somethin's makin' you smile like that and I wanna know what it is. So tell me."

"Nothin' happened, honest. I'm just happy. That's it."

"It's just her hormones, Maggie." Carol said, sittin' next to her. Carol stared at me and then looked at Zach, who wasn't smilin' at all, "Bethie, when you're done eating, can you help me with Judith."

I smiled, "yes ma'am."

When we were finished I followed Carol to her cell where Judith had been stayin'.

I looked over at her, "She's sleepin'. What'd you need me to help you with?"

"I know she's sleepin'. I just wanted to talk to you in private." She patted the bed next to her and I sat down.

"Is somethin' wrong, Carol?"

"Well, that depends. What happened earlier?"

"Huh? What'd you mean?"

"Beth, I'm not blind. From the smile you've had, I'm guessing it had nothin' to do with Zach because he still seems pretty pissed about Rick. Which brings me to my next point. I saw you go to talk to Rick when they got back earlier. I assumed it was because of his altercation with Zach but I know it wasn't."

"It was about Zach. Rick had no right to do what he did and I told him that."

She shook her head, "yeah, you may have told him that but I know somethin' else happened."

"Carol, nothin' happened. We talked."

"Really? Because from the smiles the two of y'all have had all evening, I'd be willin' to bet somethin' more than talkin' happened between y'all. Did he say or do anything to you?"

"He apologized for what he did and as for us smiling, he felt the baby kick. And I mean _really_ kick. It wasn't like the little movements I've felt before. It was a real kick, ya know."

She smiled, "I know," she reached out and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear, "I know exactly how that feels. The first time you feel it that powerful, it's amazing. If that's all that happened then I guess I shouldn't worry. But be careful, Beth. You're with Zach."

I swallowed hard, after that kiss with Rick, I had totally forgotten about bein' with Zach. "Yes Carol, you shouldn't worry and I know I'm with Zach. It...it was just havin' that happen with Rick was nice. The baby hasn't moved like that for anyone else, not even me."

"He obviously knows his daddy's voice and when he touches you," she put her hand on my stomach, "I'm guessing Rick will be doin' more of that now."

"Probably, but I'm fine with it. You and Carl are always touchin' my belly tryin' to feel the baby move. I have no problem with Rick doin' that too."

"Alright. But you need to go tell Hershel and Maggie before they jump to conclusions."

"I'll go talk to them now."

Thankfully Maggie and daddy were together in the common room. I walked up behind Maggie, wrapped my arms around her neck and put my chin on her shoulder, "You really wanna know why I've been smilin'?"

"Yes, Beth. I want to know."

I sat down across from her and daddy and smiled.

"I was smilin' 'cause of Rick."

Daddy and Maggie's eyes widened.

"Because of Rick?" Daddy asked.

"Yeah but before you get mad, let me finish." They just stared at me so I continued, "After y'all got back from the run, Zach told me what happened between him and Rick so I went to talk to Rick. While we were talkin', he touched my stomach and...and the baby kicked. It's like he knew who Rick was. It wasn't like the little kicks I've felt, this one was...it was a...a powerful kick, it was the first time he did that and it felt nice. He's only done that for Rick," I knew it sounded crazy but I was happy about that and they didn't need to know what else happened.

They both smiled and daddy grabbed my hands, "You have every right to be happy and excited about that. Believe me, I know what that feels like and I'm glad you and Rick experienced that. Y'all have many more firsts to get through with this child and they'll all be as exciting as this was."

Maggie smiled too and moved to sit next to me. She put her arms around my shoulders and kissed my head. "I'm so happy for you, Bethie. Daddy's right, you should be excited about that. Do you think he'll kick like that for Aunt Maggie?"

I laughed a little, "Maybe but like I've said, he's only done that for Rick. But you can try."

She held her hands on my belly for a little bit but didn't feel anything. "Well, I guess he's gonna be just as stubborn as his mama and daddy," she said.

"Y'all do know it could be a girl, right?" Glenn asked as he sat down next to Maggie.

"We know," I said, "but still, we can it him or her 'til we know for sure." I stood up, "Well, I'm gonna get to bed. I'll see y'all in the mornin'."

We said our goodnights and I made my way back to my cell and changed clothes. It felt good to be out of jeans.

I was about to lay down when someone knocked on the bars.

"Can I come in?" Maggie asked.

"Yeah."

She came in and quietly sat down on the bed. She kept her eyes on me like she was tryin' to read my mind.

"Bethie, I know the truth," she finaly said.

I was actually confused. What was she talkin' about?

"What'd you mean?" I asked.

She took a deep breath, "I know Rick isn't really the baby's father and I know who is. It took me a while but when I finally got over bein' mad, I figured it out." She looked down, "That night at the farm, when Rick found Shane hittin' you, he did more than that, didn't he?"

"Maggie, please..."

She put up her hand to stop me, "Beth, I'm thankful you have Rick. He saved you that night and he's willin' to be there for you. He's a good man. And Beth, I'm not gonna tell anyone, especially daddy. He doesn't need to know what Shane did, it'll just hurt him worse. As far as I'm concerned, Rick is the baby's father and that's all that matters."

"Thank you, Maggie but seriously, please don't tell anyone. It's bad enough Daryl knows."

"No need to thank me. I'd do anythin' for you and I kinda figured Daryl knew since he helped Rick with Shane that night."

She moved closer to me and lowered her voice so only I could hear, "This may not be the appropriate time to say this but I actually want you and Rick to be together, Bethie. And please don't take this the wrong way but I don't like Zach very much. I was glad Rick hit him because I've been wantin' to do that since you started goin' out with him. There's somethin' about him I don't trust. I see the way he looks at you, there's somethin' that isn't right about it. It's completely different than the way I see Rick lookin' at you. That man, he may not be willin' to admit it but he loves you. We all see it, that's why daddy and Carol are so worried."

"Maggie, why are you tellin' me this?" I groaned.

"Because I want you to be happy. We've all talked about you and Rick bein' together," I started to interrupt her but she stopped me, "we're not gossipin' about y'all or anythin' like that but as it stands, Carl and I are the only ones that want y'all to be together. Carol and daddy are totally against it, Daryl and Glenn are on the fence but neither of them thinks it's a good idea for y'all to be together, Sasha and Tyreese said they were stayin' out of it but that you're a little young and then Merle, well he just hates Rick so his opinion doesn't really count."

"Wait a minute, why the hell were y'all talkin' 'bout us in the first place?"

She sighed, "Daddy and Carol are worried about you bein' with someone like Rick, someone that much older than you." She paused, the look on my face must've been amusing because Maggie started to laugh and she patted my leg, "Get some sleep, Bethie and think about what I said. Carl and I have your back."

I layed down on my side when she left and stared at the wall.

What the hell just happened? Maggie had been so pissed when she found out I was pregnant and then when we told her it was Rick's she wanted to kill him, now she's giving me her approval. Was she messin' with me?

* * *

 **Rick** -

What started out as a shitty day ended up bein' pretty damn good and it was only gonna get better when my watch shift ends and I get to be next to Beth.

"Hey dad," Carl said comin' into the guard tower.

"Hey, you're supposed to be in bed."

"I know. But I wanted to talk to you."

"What about?"

"Beth, Judy and the baby."

"Okay, well go ahead and say what's on your mind."

"Well...," he started, "I miss mom and...and Judith never had the chance to know her. The only mom Judith's known is Beth." He looked at me with tears in his eyes, "I love mom but...well...the baby's gonna call Beth "Mama" because she is his or her mom and Judith's only known her..." He stopped and stared up at the sky.

I put my hands on his shoulder, "Beth can't replace your mom. No one can."

"I know that but I...can I call Beth, mom?"

"Wow," I rubbed my face, "Carl, that's really up to you. You don't have to call her that. But you'd better talk to her first. It's not my decision."

"I want to call her mom. I love her like a mom and if the baby and Judith are gonna call her that, why can't I? We're a family now, right?"

"Yeah Carl, we're a family," I crossed my arms and leaned back against the wall. "If that's what you want, then you need to ask her, not me."

He looked down and nodded, "I'll talk to her tomorrow. But...but what if she says I can't?"

"I don't know. Just talk to her and see what she says."

He grinned, "Thanks dad."

"Now go to bed."

My shift lasted longer than I wanted it to but when it was over, I hurried to Beth's cell.

I thought she'd be asleep but when I climbed in beside her, she rolled over and faced me.

"Hey baby girl," I whispered. Even through the dim moonlight, I could see her smile. I cupped her face in my hands and gently kissed her.

She sighed, "Rick, Maggie knows."

"She knows what?"

"About Shane, what he did. She's not gonna tell anyone though."

"She may not tell anyone but she's gonna kill me."

Beth leaned up on her elbow, "Trust me, she's not gonna kill you. She said you're the baby's father and that's all that matters." She laid her head on my chest and I wrapped my arms around her.

We laid there like that for a while before she spoke again, "Rick?"

"Yeah baby?"

"What happened earlier? I mean that kiss. I know I kissed you first but what was that?"

 _I closed my eyes, God I wish she wouldn't ask that because I'm not sure what it was_. "I don't know, Bethie."

"Well, what was it to you?"

 _Fuck!_ "It was somethin' I've been wantin' to do for a while now."

"Really?" She smiled up at me.

"Yeah."

She raised up and kissed me like before but this time she put her arms around my neck and pulled me closer. I felt her shiver as she opened her mouth to receive my tongue.

I slowly broke the kiss and moved to her neck.

She stopped me before I could go any further.

"I'm sorry, Rick. I can't do this," she started to cry, "I'm so sorry."

"No baby, don't ever be sorry. I'm not gonna make you do anything you don't want to."

I wiped the tears from her cheeks, "Thank you," she whispered.

I didn't care that she stopped me. It was enough just to have her in my arms. I'd be happy if that was all we did and nothin' more.


	27. Alone Again

**Beth** -

I was awake before anyone else. I was sittin' up on the bed waitin' for the sun to come up. I hardly slept last night because of what Maggie said and then what happened with Rick. I wasn't ready for that with him, Zach or anyone else for that matter. I was gonna have to talk to them both. I just had to figure out how to do that.

I jumped a little when I felt Rick's hand touch my back, "Are you alright, Beth?"

I knew he couldn't see me but I couldn't say anything so I simply nodded my head.

He sat up next to me and put his arms around me, "Beth, is somethin' wrong with you or the baby?"

"No," my voice broke.

"Then, what's wrong?"

I shrugged his arms off me and stood up, "I...I just need to get some air."

He grabbed my arm, "Beth."

"Let go of me, Rick."

He let go and stood up too but I hurried out of the cell block.

I went around to the side of the prison, out of sight of the guard towers but close enough I could still be heard if somethin' happened.

I slid down the wall and started cryin'. I was thankful it was still dark.

I jumped when I felt someone touch my head.

"Whoa, Beth! I ain't gonna hurt ya."

"What'd you want, Daryl?"

"I wanna know why the fuck you're over here by yourself."

I shook my head, "Just wanted to get some air and be alone."

He slid down the wall next to me and leaned his head back, "Wanna tell me what's wrong?"

"Nope."

"Aight then," he pulled out a cigarette and lit it.

Neither of us said anything until the sun started coming up.

"Daryl?"

"Yeah."

"Do you trust Zach?"

"What?" He coughed and looked at me.

"Do you trust Zach?"

"He do somethin' to ya? He hurt ya? 'Cause I'll beat 'is ass if he did."

I waved my hand, "No, no. I just wanted to know if you trusted him. Maggie told me she doesn't."

"She ain't the only one who don't."

"Are you one of the ones who don't?"

He gave a slight nod.

"Why?"

He shrugged, "Cain't really say why. Jus' don't."

"Who else doesn't trust him? Besides you and Maggie."

"Carl an' Merle."

I pursed my lips together and looked straight ahead.

He stood up and held out his hand, "C'mon kid. Ya better get back inside 'fore they start lookin' for ya."

I followed him inside where Carol was tryin' to fix breakfast but was havin' a hard time with Judith.

"Oh Beth, can you please take her. She won't eat or settle down for anyone."

"Sure," I smiled and took the bottle and Judith from her and sat down at a table by myself.

I gave her the bottle and gently rocked her as I started to sing:

_"Carrying the weight on the end of a limb You're just waiting for somebody to pick you up again Shaded by a tree, can't live up to a rose All you ever wanted was a sunny place to grow_

_Pretty little thing, sometimes you gotta look up And let the world see all the beauty that you're made of 'Cause the way you hang your head nobody can tell You're my Virginia Bluebell My Virginia Bluebell_

_Even through a stone a flower can bloom You just need a little push, Spring is coming soon Umbrella in the rain, let it roll off your back Weather what you can, realize what you have"_

_["Virginia Bluebell" by Miranda Lambert]_

When she had finished her bottle, I took her to my cell. She still wasn't asleep so I rocked her again until she was.

I had just layed her down when Maggie came in.

"She is so precious," she whispered.

"Yeah, she is," I smiled and sat down on the bed.

I picked up my brush and started to run it through my hair when Maggie grabbed my wrist, "Well look at you! You did a little more than think about what I said last night," she whispered with a grin.

I groaned, "What are you talkin' 'bout?"

"The hickey on your neck. You didn't have that when I was in your cell last night."

I was mortified and I could feel my face turn red. I hadn't realized it was there. But I immediately covered it with my hair.

"So?" Maggie asked, tearing me away from my embarrassment.

"So, what?"

"So...are you and Rick...together?"

"No, Maggie. We're not and we're not gonna be."

"Well why not?"

"God, Maggie! Can you please drop it?"

"I'm not gonna drop it, Beth. I want you to be happy."

"Please stop. I don't feel that way about him and I never will. I want to be with Zach and nothin's gonna change that."

"Well, I don't believe that. You're different around Rick, you're happy and comfortable. Almost like you love him too. I know you're not in love with Zach. But, if you really want to be with him, then you need to tell Rick he can't stay in your cell anymore. It's not fair to him."

"What?"

"Make your choice, Beth. Zach or Rick? But if you choose Zach you will have to make things right with Rick and I'm guessin' it won't be easy on him after last night."

I groaned when Maggie left.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" Carol asked, coming into my cell.

I completely went off and started ramblin', "I'm sick of everyone tellin' me what to do. I got people in one ear tellin' me I'm happy with Zach and stay away from Rick while those in my other ear are tellin' me I'm happy with Rick and to stay away from Zach." I stood up, "Doesn't anyone care about what I want? Do y'all think I'm so stupid that I can't decide who I want to be with without y'all interfering?"

Carol stepped closer to me, "oh my God, Beth. Has Rick tried somethin' with you? Has he hurt you?"

"God, no. Why do y'all think he's gonna try somethin' or hurt me? Huh? What has he done that's given you reason to believe that?"

"Beth, Rick is messed up. He's a good man and a good leader but he's not all there, if you know what I mean. He disappears occasionally. We've found him down in the boiler room talkin' to Lori."

"You think I don't know that?"

"He's told me he sees her and talks to her. It's just his way of dealin' with it. We all have our own ways of coping and that's his. Besides, you shouldn't be judging him. If I remember correctly, you kinda lost it after Sophia. You took it out on everyone, especially Rick and Daryl when they did nothin' but try to help you. I'm not judging him because my way of coping was to slit my wrists. Nobody's perfect and I certainly don't expect him or anyone else to be and neither should you."

"I know, Beth. Believe me, I completely understand but you need to be smart about this. You're about to have a baby so you need to stop acting like a foolish kid and deal with the hand you've been dealt. This isn't high school, there's no time or place for silly crushes and I'm sure that's all it is with Rick. You're acting like every girl does when she loses her virginity to someone she can't be with. Now, I don't know and I really don't want to know how or when or why you let Rick be your first but it happened and it's time for you to grow up. Zach is good for you."

"Carol, I don't have a crush on Rick or anythin' like that. I'm not sayin' I want to be with Rick but I'd appreciate it if y'all would quit pushin' me to Zach. Yes, he's a good friend and I like hangin' out with him but I'm not sure I want anythin' more than that." I sat down and put my head in my hands.

I felt a tear fall. How could I do this? I wasn't entirely sure how I felt about either one of them but that didn't mean I wanted someone to tell me how I felt.

"I'm sorry, Beth. I didn't mean to upset you." Carol turned to leave, "if you need anything, I'll be outside."

After she left, I wiped my eyes and checked on Judith before leavin' my cell.

When I got outside I just stood there and looked around. I saw Carl and a few other kids playin' with a soccer ball but when he saw me he dropped it and ran over.

"Hey Beth, can I ask ya somethin'?"

"Yeah. But have you seen daddy?"

He looked down, "Yeah. He's helpin' my dad with the garden."

"Oh," I said lookin' out at them. I was slightly disappointed daddy wasn't alone. I turned back to Carl, "What'd wanna ask me?"

He looked around before lookin' at me. "It's about Judith and the baby. I know you're not Judith's mom but I'm sure she's gonna call you mom and I know the baby will call you mom 'cause, well, you are his mom but..." he stopped when he saw Zach walking towards us and shook his head, "Nevermind." Then he ran off in the opposite direction.

"What'd he want?" Zach asked, throwing his arm around my shoulder.

"I'm not sure."

I suddenly felt uncomfortable around him so I moved his arm and started walkin' towards daddy and Rick without sayin' anything to him.

"Hey! What the hell was that?"

I shrugged, "I just need to talk to my daddy. Alone! I'll catch up with you later."

He just glared at me and threw his hands up, "Fine! Whatever," then he walked off.

I hurried down to daddy and Rick. They both smiled at me and I sat down next to daddy.

"Somethin' bothering you, Bethie?" Daddy asked.

"No sir. Just thought I'd keep y'all company since Judith's asleep and there's really nothin' else for me to do."

Daddy smiled, "How are you feelin' today? Any discomfort, pain or anything?"

"No sir."

He studied my face as if he thought I was lyin'. "Well that's good, Bethie. But you should be inside instead of out here. You're gettin' closer to the end so we gotta keep an eye on you and keep you as close to the prison as possible."

"Yes sir," I nodded and tried to stand up.

Rick chuckled and set down his shovel, "Here," he held out his hand and wrapped his arm around my waist, "I'm gonna go check on Carl and Judith. I'll get her back inside." He told daddy.

* * *

 **Rick** -

"You sure you're alright?" I asked her as we made our way up to the prison.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

I saw her grit her teeth, "Shit. You're not fine. Are you in labor?"

"No," she squeezed my hand and stopped walkin'.

"Beth? What's wrong?" Carol said, running to us. She looked at Beth then yelled for Maggie and Glenn to come over.

"Glenn, go get Hershel. Maggie, I'll need you to help me examine her. Rick, get her inside."

Once she was inside, Carol and Maggie took over and helped her into a cell.

Glenn and Hershel came in followed by most everyone else. They were all anxiously awaiting for Carol or Maggie to give us the news on Beth.

Carl was the last one to come running in.

"Is the baby here?"

"No," I told him, "Carol and Maggie are with her now."

We waited for a while longer before Maggie came in.

"She's fine but she's not havin' the baby yet. Carol thinks it's just Braxton Hicks. But daddy, she wants to talk to you."

I looked at Carl and patted his shoulder, "You look a little disappointed."

"So," he shrugged, "you're not?"

"Maybe a little but it's for the best. If the baby came this soon he'd probably need a lot of medical attention and that's somethin' we can't give him."

He leaned his arms and head on the table.

"Did you get a chance to ask Beth what you asked me last night?"

He shook his head, "Nope. I was gonna but Zach came over."

I patted his back when I seen Hershel, Maggie and Carol come in, "I'm gonna go see her. When I'm done, you come in and ask her. Alright?" He nodded again.

I was about to go into the cell block when someone came up behind me.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where do you think you're goin'? If anyone's goin to see Beth it's me, her boyfriend. Not the old man that knocked her up," Zach spoke up, gaining the attention of everyone in the room.

I turned around and got close to him, "Listen boy, that's my baby, not yours. And I'm sure as hell not gonna let some little punk tell me I can't see the mother of child." I started to turn around when he hit me. We fought but when I finally threw him to the floor, I didn't think twice about what I did next as I slammed his head into it once. Before I could do it again, Daryl and Merle were pullin' me off him and Tyreese and Maggie carried him outside.

Carol walked over to me and grabbed my face, "Have a seat so I can get you cleaned up before you go in there."

I complied.

* * *

 **Beth** -

"What happened to your face?" I asked Rick when he sat down on the bed.

"Nothin' you need to worry about."

He brushed a strand of hair out of my face and put his forehead on mine, "You scared me."

"Scared _you_? I scared _me_. I didn't know what the hell was happenin'."

He put his hand on my belly and leaned down to kiss it, "You can't be scarin' me and your mama." He looked up at me, "You feelin' any better?"

"Yeah. I was okay 'til we started walkin' back up here, then it just hit me."

He stood up, "Scoot up a little."

When I did, he sat down on the bed behind me and started rubbin' my back and neck. I closed my eyes.

_Maybe Maggie was right about me and Rick. He certainly treated me differently than Zach did. And unlike Zach, he did make me feel safe and I am happier and more comfortable around him than I am with Zach. Even his touch was different. Rick's was tender and strong, whereas Zach's was harsh and shaky._

I had relaxed so much I didn't notice that Rick had stopped rubbin' my back and had pulled me back against his chest.

"I'm sorry about last night," I whispered.

He kissed my head, "You have nothin' to be sorry about."

"Yes, I do. I liked what we did and I wanted that but...but I've never...when Shane did that to me, I had never done anythin' before. That was my first time and I don't even count that 'cause I didn't want it."

"It's alright, Bethie."

My eyes filled with tears, "No it's not. I'm pregnant and I've never done anythin' willingly."

He gently gripped my chin and turned my head towards him, "Beth, baby. You don't ever have to think about what he did or what anyone else did. I'm never gonna make you do somethin' you don't want to and if Zach or anyone else tries to make you do somethin', I'll kill 'em."

He wiped my tears away and lightly kissed my lips.

_No, Beth. Don't even think that! You can't be with either of them. Especially if you don't know how you feel. It's not right to lead them on. You're just gonna get hurt!_

* * *

_**-The Next Day-** _

**Beth** -

After yesterday I've been confined to the inside of the prison while everyone else was outside.

Since I had nothin' to do, I told Carol to leave the dishes from breakfast and I'd wash them. Judith was fussy by the time I finished so I picked her up, "Well Judy, it's just me and you. What should we do today?"

She squirmed in my arms and I couldn't help but laugh.

Despite being here as long as we have, the prison is still a creepy place. Especially when you're alone with just a baby.

I had been told to rest as much as possible but I was bored. I held Judith closer to me and began to pace the cell block. I did the only thing that kept me occupied. Sing.

_"I'm not in the hall of fame I'm not on the wall of shame I guess you'll find me in between somewhere_

_things go right and things go wrong sometimes you hear me sing a song but you'll always find me in my mama's prayers_

_sure as the skies will turn dark at the end of the day the angels must count on what she's gonna say and I know I'm at least one of five other names when I'm down and think nobody cares I remember that I'm in my mama's prayers_

_not everybody has a mom and no one does for very long and I used to think "well, lord that's just not fair." but I believe the words are for always and they won't end with today's and I'm grateful to be in my mama's prayers_

_sure as the skies will turn dark at the end of the day the angels must count on what she's gonna say and I know I'm at least one of five other names when I'm down and think nobody cares I remember that I'm in my mama's prayers_

_I don't always know what to believe and I don't always know everything I need but faithfully my name is called each night by quilted bedside and the devil may come seek me on a dare he'll be up against my mama's prayers_

_when I'm down and think nobody cares I remember that I'm in my mama's prayers"_

_["Mama's Prayers" by Elizabeth Cook]_

"That was absolutely beautiful, Bethie."

I turned to see daddy and Carol standin' at the cell block entrance.

I smiled and looked down at Judith, "Thank you, daddy. Are y'all here to keep me company?"

Daddy shook his head, "I'm not. I'm goin' back out to the garden but I believe Carol is."

I gave daddy a kiss on the cheek before he went back outside.

Carol was sittin' at one of the tables. She smiled, "Give your arms a rest, Bethie. Bring her to me."

I placed Judith in her arms and sat down.

She smiled again, "You're already such a good mother."

"Thanks. I'm sorry about yellin' at you yesterday. I didn't mean to."

"It's alright, sweetheart. I know you didn't mean to. My temper was worse than yours when I was pregnant with Sophia."

I leaned against the table and rested my head in my hands, "Carol, what happened yesterday?"

"What'd you mean?"

"Rick's face and I heard some noises in here but I couldn't tell what it was."

"Oh, well, Rick was on his way to check on you when Zach stopped him. They exchanged a few words then some punches. Daryl and Merle pulled Rick off of him after he slammed his head into the floor."

I was completely lost for words.

"That's why Zach hasn't been in here to see you. Daryl and Maggie have him confined to his cell block." She lowered her eyes, "I've seen his type before. His temper and the way he reacted to Rick. It's not good, Beth. I may have made a mistake in thinkin' he was good for you." Everything changed about her when she spoke of her husband but nothin' changed more than her voice and eyes.

I looked at her questioningly but didn't say anything.

"His eyes," she began but her voice cracked and her eyes were hazy, "looked just like my husband's did. I'm not sayin' he's anything like him but that switch is definitely there and I don't think it'd take much for you to flip it."

"Oh," was all I managed.

"Here, she's asleep. You should go put her down and take a nap as well. It won't be long before you won't be gettin' much sleep and you'll wish you could. So do it while you can."

"Yes ma'am."

* * *

 **Rick** -

It was time for lunch when Hershel and I made our way up to the prison. Sasha and Maggie were helping Carol.

I looked around, "Where's Carl?"

"He's inside with Judith while Beth rests," Carol said.

"Alright. I'm gonna go check on 'em."

I walked in to find Carl and Judith in the common room. "Lunch is almost ready," I told him and took Judith before he ran out.

I carried her into Beth's cell and laid her in her crib. I smiled to myself when I saw Beth asleep.

I sat down next to her. When I kissed her temple, she started to wake.

She looked up at me and put her head in my lap.

"Lunch should be ready. You wanna go eat?" I asked her but she didn't respond.

"You feelin' alright, Beth?"

"No," she mumbled.

"What's wrong, baby?"

She rolled over onto her back, "Everythin'."

I started to gently rub her belly.

"Rick?"

"Yeah?"

"When are y'all goin' on another run?"

"I don't know. In few days probably. Why? You need somethin'?"

"Yeah, I need some bigger pants."

I laughed.

"It's not funny, Rick. These may be maternity jeans but they're too tight and it's uncomfortable."

"Alright. We'll see if we can find you some on the next run. But if they're uncomfortable, why don't you just wear one of those dresses Maggie picked up for you?"

"A dress? Seriously? That's not really a good idea. I'd rather have pants in case somethin' happens."

"Beth, nothin's gonna happen. Just wear one for a few days 'til we can get you somethin' else."

She nodded, "Okay. Can you help me up, please?"

"Yeah," I stood and helped her up. As soon as she was up, she headed for the door.

"Where you goin'?"

"To get somethin' to eat."

"Beth, what's wrong?"

"Nothin'." She rolled her eyes and started to leave.

"Beth," I grabbed her arm, "sit down and tell me what the hell's wrong."

She sighed and sat down but didn't say anything.

"Beth?"

She sighed again and closed her eyes, "I can't do this anymore."

"Do what?"

"Whatever this is," she motioned between us, "I don't even wanna be with Zach, let alone anyone else. I really just want to be by myself."

"What are you sayin'?"

She stood up, "You can move back into your cell. I don't need you to stay in here anymore. I'm perfectly fine with bein' alone."

I sat there starin' at the wall, _"Fuck, Rick! You scared her. You moved too fast. Hell, forget movin' too fast, she doesn't feel the same about you. Just move on, same as you did when you lost Lori."_ I berated myself.


	28. Never Easy

**Rick** -

"You look like hell," Maggie said, approaching the car.

It's been a week since my last conversation with Beth and I haven't talked to her or seen her much since then.

When I didn't respond, Maggie continued talkin', "So, what all are we gettin'? Just what's on the list?"

"Um...no. Beth asked me to get her some bigger clothes. Maybe you could grab some and give 'em to her. I don't think she really wants me around right now."

"Rick, I'm sorry she did what she did. I think it might have been my fault, though. I kinda questioned her about the mark you left on her neck."

I looked down, "Maggie, it's nobody's fault but mine. I...I shouldn't have done that. Hell, I shouldn't have done anything."

"I'll get whatever I can find for her...but you have to give it to her."

I cleared my throat and changed the subject when Daryl and Tyreese walked over.

"Y'all ready?" I asked.

"Yeah."

We all climbed into the car.

"Alright. When we get there, Daryl you're with Tyreese and Maggie's with me."

* * *

 **Beth** -

"Hey Carol."

"Hey sweetie. How're you feelin'?"

"Eh, 'bout as good as I can."

She smiled, "So, how are things goin'? Has Zach done anything?"

I shook my head, "No ma'am."

"That's good. I'm still worried it could change with him."

"I know. I was kinda wonderin' if I could talk to you about him."

She stopped what she was doin' and grabbed my hand, "Sweetie, you can always talk to me."

"Well, I...I just...I don't feel anythin' for him, ya know. Like nothin' at all. We've kissed and I haven't felt anythin'. It just wasn't what I expected."

"Well, what did you expect to feel?"

I shook my head, "That's the thing, I'm not really sure what it was I expected but I thought I would feel somethin'. I mean, I tried to see if my feelings would change but they haven't. I know for sure now that I like him as a friend and that's it but I don't wanna hurt him."

"Bethie, you should definitely talk to him sooner rather than later. Explain to him how you feel and see if he's okay with bein' friends. If you're sure you don't feel anything, then you should not continue your relationship with him just because you're afraid of hurtin' him," she stopped and looked at me, studying my face, "Beth, is there someone else you want to be with? Or someone you're thinkin' about?"

"No ma'am."

"You'd tell me if there was, right?"

"Yes ma'am, I would. I think it's best for me to be on my own."

She furrowed her brow, "What about Rick?"

"I don't mean raise the baby on my own. I still want him to be around for that but I'm in no way ready for a relationship with anyone."

"As long as that's the only reason he's around," daddy said, standing next to me.

"Daddy,..." I started.

He sat down, "No Bethie, let me finish."

"Yes sir.

"I want Rick to help you raise y'alls child but I can't say I wasn't relieved to learn you asked him to move back into his cell. As good a man he is, I didn't particularly like knowin' he was sleepin' in your bed, even..."

"But daddy," I interrupted him.

He held up his hand, "Let me finish, Beth. Even if nothin' was happenin', it's better to know he's not sleepin' next to you. I have absolutely no doubt he cares about you and loves that baby but I've already spoken to him about this, he is at no time permitted to pursue a relationship with you and you are not permitted to start one with him. Yes, you'll be raising a child together but there is no need for it to go any further. As I've told him, you need and deserve the chance to find someone closer to your own age that you can be happy with."

Daddy stopped and looked at Carol before continuing, "I thought you had found that in Zach...but after speaking with Carol and hearing her concerns about his temper, I will support you if you decide to end that relationship but if you decide to do that, promise me you'll have someone with you in case he does somethin'."

I nodded my head, "Yes sir, I promise."

Daddy hugged me and I stood up to leave.

"Bethie, where are you goin'?"

"I'm goin' to talk to Zach."

"What did I just say, Beth?"

"Don't worry, daddy. I'll see if someone will come with. Maybe I'll ask Sasha, if she's not too busy."

"Alright. If there's any trouble, you let me know."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

 **Rick** -

We'd made it to the store we were scavengin'. Since we'd never been there, we had to clear it. It wasn't too difficult since there were only a few walkers. But once that was done, we had separated.

We gathered all of the supplies on the list and more but still hadn't ventured to the maternity and baby sections.

"I don't like the idea of splitting up but we need to hurry. I'll take the maternity section and you can take the baby section," Maggie said.

I agreed with a simple nod and started towards it.

On the way to it, I had to pass the jewelry counter. I let my eyes aimlessly wander across the jewelry as I remembered buyin' things for Lori. At first she'd always loved the gifts but then she changed. Closer to the end, anytime I'd bring her somethin' she'd smile, say thanks and hug me and that was it. It would just sit there collecting dust, she never wore it anymore.

I remember one year for Christmas I had gotten her a ring with Carl's birthstone on it, she wore it that day but none after that. When Shane had arrived with gifts, he gave her a pair of diamond earrings, she always wore those. I had wondered back then if somethin' was goin' on between her and Shane but I had pushed those thoughts out of head. I thought she still loved me because I still loved her.

Now, here I was with a different girl but the same old story. I thought she'd felt the same but she didn't.

"Rick? You almost done?" Maggie shouted out to me, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah," I shouted back and hurried to the baby section to collect the few things we needed.

* * *

 **Beth** -

I had found Sasha but she was on watch and with the others on a run, there was nobody that could be trusted to take her place.

I scanned the prison yard for someone who could come with me. I saw Karen but I didn't know her well enough to ask her. There was no way in hell I was gonna ask Glenn...or Carol...or daddy. That left only two people, Carl and Merle. I groaned and picked the lesser of two evils.

He was sitting at a table with a few other kids. I heard them all giggling and whispering as I approached them.

"Hey Carl, you mind if I talk to you a minute?"

He shook his head and stood up.

As we walked away I could hear the kids whispering again.

"What'd ya wanna talk about?" He asked with his head down.

"I need your help with somethin'."

"Why me? Why'd ya need my help?" He kept his eyes pinned to the ground.

"Because, you're the only one who can help me."

"Really?" He looked up, "What'd ya need my help with?"

"Yes really. And I need to talk to Zach but..."

"Oh," he hung his head again.

"Carl, I need you to come with me in case he does somethin'. I'm gonna break up with him and I don't know how he'll take it. I need you to be there. Will you come with me? Please?"

He nodded.

I knew exactly where Zach would be. He was by his car, cleaning it up. I found it a bit ridiculous that he'd even bother to do that. Wasn't like he'd get to show it off.

He smiled when he saw, "Hey Beth!"

I smiled back.

I had asked Carl to stand behind one of the other cars.

"What're you doin' out here?" He asked.

"Lookin' for you."

"I thought they wouldn't let you outside 'cause they were afraid you'd pop that kid out."

I shook my head, "I'm alright as long as I don't go too far."

He slammed the hood and leaned against the car, "Either way, I can't wait 'til you do pop that kid out. Maybe then that asshole will quit actin' like you belong to him and not me."

_He did not just say that!_

I put my hands on my hips, "Zach, I do not belong to you...or him. I don't belong to anyone."

"C'mon baby, you know what I meant."

I scoffed and threw up my hands. I turned to leave but he grabbed me by the waist, "C'mon baby, I didn't mean it."

"Don't call me "baby" and stop touchin' me," I pushed him away, "I came here to tell you I don't like you that way. I like you more as friend and that's it."

"What?"

"Zach, I don't feel anythin' for you. I mean...I care about you but only as a friend. I'm sorry."

He shrugged, "Don't be. I like you and care about you too but I could see it wasn't gonna work out. You honestly think we can still be friends?"

"Yeah...I do."

He smiled and walked off.

_"That was easy," I thought to myself. "Almost too easy."_

I walked back to Carl and smiled, "Thanks for comin' with me."

"No problem. Can I ask you somethin'?"

"Yeah but do you mind if we go inside first? It's hot out here."

He gave a nod and we went inside.

Carol was at a table feedin' Judith, "How'd it go?"

"Better than I expected it to. He agreed we should be friends."

"I'm glad he was okay with it."

"I'm goin' to my cell, you want me to take Judith?"

"No, I'm fine, sweetie. You just go rest."

"Yes ma'am."

Once I was in my cell, I sat down on the bed and looked at Carl, he was standin' by the foot of the bed, "What did you wanna ask me?"

He came closer and fidgeted as he looked down before speaking, "Can I call you mom?"

I was taken aback by his question and I didn't know what to say. I finally manged a few words before he looked up, "umm...uh...I...I don't know, Carl. Why do you wanna call me that?"

"'Cause I want to. I know you're not my mom but you are my brother or sisters mom and you're like a mom to Judith. I'm sure she's gonna call you that when she starts talkin' and I think of you as a mom."

"Wow, Carl. I...I don't know what to say. I'm not that much older than you. Don't you think it'll be a little weird to call me that?"

He looked back down, "I guess so."

"Hey," I held my arms out to him, "come here."

I hugged him when he sat down next to me. "I'm not Lori, Carl. No one can ever replace her but I see your point. Though I kinda disagree about Judith callin' me mom. That's somethin' that'd have to be discussed with your dad, same with you."

"But I've already asked him. He said it was up to you."

"I don't know..." I looked at Carl and hugged him tighter when I saw the disappointed look on his face, "Okay, I guess it'd be alright if you call me mom. But only if you want to and only around me and your dad, for now. Okay?"

He smiled a huge smile and hugged me, "Okay. Thanks,...mom."

"Sounds a little weird to me, Carl."

He laughed and shrugged, "It doesn't sound that weird to me."

"I'm gonna go check on Judith."

"Alright." I smiled.

He hugged me again before he left.

* * *

 **Rick** -

When we pulled through the prison gate and parked, several people came out to help us unload the car.

"Here," Maggie said, handing me several bags, "take these to Beth. It's everythin' I could find that mightt fit her."

I stood there holdin' them but not movin'.

"Go on," she said, "we got this."

I ignored several people as I walked to her cell.

When I reached her cell, I stopped in the doorway.

She looked beautiful. She was lyin' on the bed in a pink sundress.

"Hey," she said sleepily.

"Hey. How're you feelin' today?"

"Good," she said, sittin' up. She stared at me, "You can come in here."

I didn't realize I was still standin' in the doorway.

I walked in and sat the bags down on her bed, "I'm not sure if any of these will fit. If they don't, we can make another run tomorrow."

She rummaged through the bags until she found a pair of jeans and smiled. She stood and turned around and lifted her hair, "Can you please unzip this?"

"Yeah," I moved to unzip it. When I had done so I quietly left.

I made it to my cell and just stood there.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a silver chain that a silver heart shaped pendent with six diamonds on it.

I held it in the palm of my hand and stared at it.

_"It's just as beautiful as she is," I thought to myself, "But you need to move on."_


	29. Let Me Hold You

**Rick** -

_I walked out of my cell to find Beth standin' there._

_"Rick, can we talk?"_

_"Not now, Beth. I've got...things to do."_

_"But..."_

_"Beth, I told you, not now." I walked away._

_As much as I wanted to talk to her, I couldn't. I know I've been pushin' her away and avoiding her as much as possible but it was better that way._

_"Rick!" She had followed me, "Rick, please talk to me."_

_"Beth, I can't."_

_"Can't or won't? Why? Because you have things to do?"_

_I started to walk past her but she stepped in front of me._

_"You can't keep avoiding me!"_

_"Alright," I looked at her, "what'd you wanna talk about?"_

_"Well, first of all, you ran out the other night before I could say thank you. So, thanks. And second, Why are you avoiding me? What did I do?"_

_"Can we talk about this later?"_

_"No! We need to talk, now!"_

_"Beth..."_

_Tyreese walked in, "I'm sorry to interrupt but we need you outside."_

_"Alright."_

_I didn't look at Beth or say anything to her as I walked past her and followed Tyreese outside._

That was four days after our run.

Today, a week later, was the first time I had managed to completely avoid her. Though I wasn't sure if it was my doing or because she hasn't left her cell.

But either way, I wasn't gonna let it bother me.

* * *

 **Beth** -

I sat on the bed with my back against the wall, cryin'. Seems that's all I do lately. Well, that and stay in my cell.

"Bethie? Are you comin' out today?" Carol asked.

"No ma'am."

She came into the cell and sat down beside me.

"Sweetie, is there somethin' wrong or somethin' you wanna talk about?"

I leaned my head back on the wall, "yeah, there's somethin' I wanna talk about but...but I don't know."

"Beth, what is it?"

"I miss him."

"Who? ...Zach?"

A tear fell and I shook my head 'no'. "Rick," I whispered.

"Rick? You miss Rick?"

"Yes."

She sighed, "I thought...I thought you didn't feel anything for him. What happened to you wantin' to be alone?"

I shrugged, "I miss him bein' in here, talkin' to me. Now...now he just avoids me."

"Is that all it is? Just you missin' him?"

"Yeah."

I wasn't gonna tell her that wasn't all I missed. I missed his touch, his kiss, everything.

I meant what I said about not feelin' anything for Zach. When I told her it wasn't what I expected, she asked what I had expected. I told her I didn't know but now I do. I had expected to feel the way I did with Rick. Sure, it was just a few kisses but now they meant more to me than I thought they did.

"Bethie, come outside with me. It'll do you good to get some sun and fresh air."

I nodded and walked outside with her. The sun and light breeze felt good.

I sat at a table with her and Sasha and looked around the prison yard. I saw the members of our group and some from Woodbury.

"Hey Carol, where's Judith?"

"Over there," she motioned with her head, "she's with Sarah."

I looked to where she had motioned and there was Judith. She was in some woman's lap kickin' and screamin'.

"Who's Sarah?" I asked.

"She's a friend of Karen's from Woodbury. Apparently she was a teacher before the outbreak."

I looked back at Judith and the woman.

"Why didn't y'all ask me to keep Judith?"

"Rick didn't want us to bother you."

She kept tryin' to calm Judith but was havin' no luck so I walked closer but I stopped when Carl sat down next to her. He looked at me and smiled.

"She'll stop cryin' for my mom." I heard him tell her.

"Your Mom? Your dad told me your mother was dead."

Carl stood, "Well, he lied!" He shouted at her.

I moved closer, "Carl, you need to apologize for yellin' at her."

"No, it's quite alright," she said.

Carl glared at her and then turned to me, "Mom, why don't you take Judy inside?"

The woman let out a slight gasp and stood, handing Judith to me.

"You're...you're Lori?" She stammered, "Rick told me you..I thought he said you were dead. I must've misunderstood. I'm so sorry."

I shook my head, "No ma'am, you didn't. I'm not Lori. My name's Beth, I'm Hershel's daughter."

"Oh," her face wrinkled in confusion, "why did...why did Carl call you mom then?"

"No reason. I just usually take care of Judith."

"Oh, okay. You're the babysitter." She held out her hand, "I'm Sarah. It's nice to finally meet you."

I shook her hand, "uh...you too."

"You really can get her to settle down," she rubbed Judith's cheek, "She's such a sweet baby."

"Yeah, she is."

"I bet you can't wait to hold your little one."

I smiled.

"Is your boyfriend or husband excited about it too?"

I tilted my head, "uh...he..."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I assumed he was still...around," she said.

I lowered my eyes. Rick hadn't told her. Hmm, guess I shouldn't be surprised.

I looked back at her with tears in my eyes and handed Judith back to her, "I..uh...I have to go."

I ran back inside but before I could reach the cell block Carol and Maggie both stopped me.

"Bethie, what's wrong?" Maggie asked.

I wiped my eyes, "Nothin'. Why?"

Carol put a hand on my shoulder, "We saw you runnin' in here. Did somethin' happen? Are you feelin' alright?"

"Yeah...yeah, I am."

They both stood there staring at me.

"Bethie?" Maggie's eyes were searching my face, "Do you wanna talk?"

I quickly shook my head 'yes'.

"Okay," she put her arm around my shoulder and looked at Carol, "can you see if someone can cover my shift for a little bit? I'll be out as soon as I'm finished with Beth."

She gave a slight nod, "Alright."

* * *

 **Rick** -

I was down in the garden with Hershel when we spotted Maggie running towards us.

"Rick, I need your help with somethin'." She said when she got to us.

"Somethin' happen?" I asked.

"Sorta. I just need you to come with me."

"Alright." I said before followin' her.

She lead me around to the back of the prison, when she stopped. She suddenly turned around and was inches from my face with her gun pressed against the front of my jeans.

"I have three questions for you, Rick." She said sternly.

I swallowed hard, "Alright then. What are they?"

"First question, why are you avoiding Beth?"

I stared past her but didn't answer, then I heard her release the safety.

"I...I'm not..."

"Don't lie to me, Rick. Answer truthfully and I won't put a bullet in your dick."

"She...she asked me to move back into my cell, said she didn't need me anymore. And she doesn't, she has Zach."

Maggie scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"Beth met Sarah today. The first time she's been outside in over a week and she runs back in cryin'. I didn't have the heart to tell her you've been spendin' everyday with Sarah since Tyreese and Karen introduced y'all. So my next question is, are you and Sarah together or anythin' like that?"

"No, Maggie. I'm not with her in any way."

There was a quizzical expression on her face.

"Maggie, I'm not interested in bein' with Sarah or anyone else, just Beth," I chuckled a little, "besides, Sarah ain't interested in me...or in any of the other men here."

She continued to stare at me until her eyes lit up in realization, "Oh! She's...?"

"Yeah."

"Well, you need to explain that to Beth."

Her face went back to the stern look she had before as she pressed her gun harder against me.

"My last question, do you love Beth?"

I lowered my eyes. How could I tell Maggie I love Beth when I haven't even told her?

Without a word, I reached into my pocket and pulled out the necklace and held it up for her to see. She took it from me and studied it.

"Where'd you get it?" She asked.

"On our last run. I'm not sure if she'll like it but I thought...I thought she might."

Maggie moved her gun, clicked the safety back on and put it back in the holster.

She smiled and hugged me. "She'll love it...and she loves you. She hasn't told me but I know she does."

She let go of me and handed the necklace back to me, "You really need to talk to her, Rick. I know daddy is against y'all bein' together but I'm not...not anymore. So, I'm gonna tell you what I told her. If y'all decide to be together, I'll have y'all's back."

I looked at the necklace, "where is she?"

"Her cell. Carl and I will keep the others out of the cell block while y'all talk."

"Thanks."

We made our way back to the front of the prison where everyone was staring at us questioningly.

"I'm sorry to worry everyone but I thought there might have been a breach in the perimeter. It's fine though so y'all can continue on with whatever y'all were doin'." Maggie reassured everyone while I went inside.

* * *

 **Beth** -

"How stupid do you have to be to end up in this situation?" I asked myself while I sat on the floor cryin', again.

Before I had a chance to answer my own question I heard someone callin' my name. It didn't immediately register with me until they got closer.

I stood and pulled back the curtain on the cell.

"Beth, what're you doin' in my cell?" Rick asked.

"I was waitin' for you. I wanted to t..." I stopped when I saw who was behind him, "Never mind. I'll leave you alone."

He grabbed both of my arms as I tried to move past him.

"You're not goin' anywhere," he said, "we need to talk. But first, Sarah wants to talk to you. Okay?"

"Yeah," I nodded.

Rick left me and Sarah alone in his cell.

"Beth, I'm sorry about what I said before. I honestly didn't know who you were." She touched my shoulder, "You have nothin' to worry about. I'm not interested in Rick."

I crossed my arms and stared at her.

"I'm not interested in any of the men here. Beth, I like women."

I let out a huge sigh of relief and fought back the tears that rushed to my eyes as I realized I had been jealous of someone else havin' Rick's attention.

"Rick just told me about you and him...and the baby. I didn't mean to...to upset you. I'm sorry." She paused, "I'm gonna go so y'all can talk."

I was frozen in place when Rick came back in. He reached up to my cheek and gently wiped away a few tears that had escaped before pulling me to him.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and silently cried into his chest.

"I broke up with Zach," I mumbled against his shirt.

"When?"

I looked up at him, "The last time y'all were on a run. I was gonna tell you then but you left before I could."

"Close your eyes, Bethie."

"Why?"

He grinned, "I got you somethin'."

I smiled and closed my eyes.

"Open your eyes."

He was holding the most beautiful necklace I've ever seen.

"It's beautiful," I gasped. "Where'd you get it?"

"I got it on that run."

I took it in my hand and ran my fingers over the pendent. "I love it."

I put it in his hand and turned around. Once he had clasped it, I sat down on the bed.

* * *

 **Rick** -

I knelt in front of her and lifted her chin, "What do you want, Beth? Do you want to be together?"

She closed her eyes, "I'm not sure."

"You're not?"

I could see tears forming in the corners of her eyes as she spoke, "Rick, I have people tellin' me to do one thing and others tellin' me to do somethin' else. No one's asked me or given me a chance to figure out what I want."

"Well, I'm askin' you now. What do you want? You don't have to decide right now but I need to know, Beth."

"What do you want, Rick?"

I sighed and kissed her. I didn't want to scare her but I had to tell her what I wanted.

"I want you, Beth."

She smiled, "You do?"

"Yeah, more than anything."

"What about daddy? I know he had a talk with you, he had it with me too."

I leaned my forehead against hers, "If this is what you want, it'll all be worked out somehow."

She too a deep breath and put her hands on either side of my face, "This...this is what I want."

I smiled and kissed her, "Until we're ready to tell them, we have to be careful."

* * *

_**-Later That Night-** _

**Beth** -

I couldn't stop smilin' as I bounced Judith in my arms. Things went better than I could've hoped for.

After talkin' with Rick earlier, I felt like everything was as perfect as it could be. I knew daddy, Carol and everyone else would have a hard time with it but I also knew and Carl were on our side.

I'm not sure if I love Rick but I do know I want to be with him.

When Judith was finally asleep, I placed her in her crib and layed down on my bed.

* * *

 **Rick** -

She was asleep in her cell when I finished watch.

I hated to wake her up but I wanted to see her before I went to my cell.

I layed down next to her on top of the covers and she started to stir.

"Rick?"

"Yeah?"

"Get under the covers, please."

So I did and wrapped my arms around her.

"I've missed you, Rick."

"I've missed you, too, baby."

She laid there lookin' at me as if she wanted to say somethin' else.

"Close your eyes, baby and just let me hold you."

* * *


	30. Just Like Her

**Rick** -

From my spot in the guard tower, I could see Beth sittin' on a blanket with Carl and Judith. I smiled to my self.

As much as I love and miss Lori, I couldn't see her actin' like Beth does with Carl and Judith, even before the world went to hell. She may be their mother but Beth is every bit their mom.

I turned my attention towards the door when I heard footsteps on the stairs, then Glenn appeared. Without a word we made the shift change. That was becoming a regular thing between me and the others. I could only guess why.

I exited the guard tower, ignoring a few people calling out for me, and headed straight to my family.

I knelt down between Carl and Beth, who were both smilin', and reached for Judith. She was a little fussy but Beth tried to calm her.

"Hey baby girl, daddy wants to hold you," she said, handing her to me.

"What are y'all up to today?" I asked them. They both shrugged.

"I'm gonna help watch some of the kids after story time," Beth said.

Carl smiled, "I'm just gonna hang out with mom and Judy today."

"Alright. Well, have fun." I handed Judith back to Beth and whispered in her ear, "Same time?"

She smiled, "Yep."

I rubbed her belly before leavin'.

* * *

 **Beth** -

I saw the looks from everyone. Daddy literally stopped what he was doin' when Rick came over to us and he continued to watch us for a few minutes after he left.

"Hey Maggie!" I called out and motioned for her when I saw her heading to the guard tower.

She came over, "What'd you need?"

"Why's daddy and everyone watchin' me?"

She looked at Carl then back at me, "I was gonna wait and talk to you and Rick together but they're all watchin' because they've...they've all noticed that you and Rick..um...disappear at the same time. Me and Carl have been doin' our best to keep them occupied but that's not workin' anymore. I realize that y'all have only been back together for a few days but y'all need to cool it for a while. I know y'all want to wait to tell everyone and that itself won't be easy but it's gonna be worse if they walk in on y'all."

"Maggie, it's not like we're doin' anythin'. We're just spendin' some time together, alone."

"They won't see it that way, Bethie. You both know they won't. Are you gonna see him today?"

I nodded, "Yeah. After I put Judith down for a nap later."

"Okay. We'll try to keep everyone busy. Won't we Carl?"

"Yeah," he agreed.

"But Bethie, you need to tell him what I told you."

"I will." She gave me a questioning look, "Maggie, don't worry. I'll tell him."

"Okay, you better."

Just as she was leavin', several kids ran over to us followed by Carol.

She was laughin', "The couldn't wait to come see you so you could sing to them."

They all sat in a circle around us, waitin'.

"Carl, what songs is your mom gonna sing?" One of the little girls asked and it certainly didn't go unnoticed by Carol.

She crossed her arms and stared down at me. Though I could feel her eyes on me, I pretended she wasn't there and I started to sing:

_"Make something out of nothing Temporary restoration An original creation, A deadringer for the real thing_

_High, wide and handsome Taking pennies from a jar In interesting conditions, you discover who you really are Who you really are_

_Turn an old wagon wheel into a chandelier hanging from a ceiling Move the mirror from the chifforobe into the hall where it's more appealing It's the lack of creature comforts that make you pay a little bit more attention Yes indeed, necessity is the mother of invention Yes indeed, necessity is the mother of invention_

_Conjure up a mannerism Like planting flowers in the tires Jump off the bandwagon Tendencies that only you'd admire_

_It's the best of indecisions When you have to re-create It's the worst of any visions When there's chances that you don't take That you don't take_

_Turn an old wagon wheel into a chandelier hanging from a ceiling Move the mirror from the chifforobe into the hall where it's more appealing It's the lack of creature comforts that make you pay a little bit more attention Yes indeed, necessity is the mother of invention Yes indeed, necessity is the mother of invention"_

_["Mother of Invention" by The Trishas]_

I sang a few more songs before Sasha told us lunch was ready.

At the tables, daddy was talkin' to Rick and Daryl. By the looks on their faces, it wasn't about anything good.

Carol sat a plate down in front of me and then took a seat beside me so she could hold Judith while I ate.

She looked down at Judith, "So what's this I hear about Carl callin' you mom?"

I shrugged, "He asked if he could. He said the baby's gonna call me mom and I'm like a mom to Judith. I think it's a little weird but it seems to make him happy."

She looked at me and raised her eyebrow, "Beth, you're treading dangerous ground."

"Huh?"

"I don't want anything to happen to you and by you letting Carl call you mom, well Beth, that's setting you both up for a heartache. I know he wants you to be with his dad and y'all be a family, and in a way y'all are a family, but that doesn't mean you have to be with Rick."

I quit eating. "I'm gonna go feed Judith," I said before takin' her and walkin' inside.

I sat down on my bed and gave Judith her bottle. I was a little disappointed about the talk I was gonna have to have with Rick. I didn't want to do it but Maggie was right.

After I finished feeding Judith, I bounced her for a little bit before I bathed and changed her. She was ready for her nap. I wanted to wait to put her down until Rick came in but I wasn't sure how long he'd be. So I started singin':

_"My father had skin like leather hands like steel from a lifetime spent in the cotton fields though he'd come home tired and dirty almost every night he found the strength to smile at me and hold my mama tight while that old transister radio would play the opry out in the hall I'd sit and watch their shadows glide across the wall_

_and they'd dance to a dixie lullaby picture of love beneath the southern sky oh my what a beautiful life just like a dixie lullaby_

_I left home at 18 in a hand me down Chevrolet packed my mamas goodness and my old mans stubborn ways it was college, work, and love then the babies came the youngest ones got his grandaddy's name and in the early morning hours when my children could not sleep I'd rock them in my arms to a gentle beat_

_and I'd sing them a dixie lullaby hush baby don't you start to cry oh my what a beautiful life just like a dixie lullaby_

_my father was a mountain of a man that was the description that I gave the morning that we laid him in his grave there with my mama by his side, we said our last goodbye to a man we thought would never die as I stood there in the fields of Amazing Grace oh how the tears ran down my face_

_and I sang him a dixie lullaby we'll meet again, by and by oh my what a beautiful life just like a dixie lullaby_

_oh my what a beautiful life just like a dixie lullaby"_

_["Dixie Lullaby" by Pat Green]_

* * *

**Rick** -

_The day after I gave Beth the necklace I had walked into her cell to check on her and Judith. She had just laid her down when I walked in. I pulled her against me and we both smiled as I leaned down to kiss her._

_I was about to lay her down on the bed when we heard someone gasp._

_We both looked over to see Maggie standin' in the doorway. She grinned and shook her head, "Don't mind me. I didn't mean to interrupt y'all," she said, "I just came to bring y'all somethin' to eat."_

_I took the two plates from her and put them down, "Thank you."_

_"Next time, make sure the curtain is closed or find somewhere where no one will walk in on y'all," she said before leaving._

Three days later and we've set up different times and places so we can be alone.

Just being able to talk to her and hold her without anyone interrupting us was worth the sneakin' around.

I could hear her singin' when I entered the cell block and when I got to her cell I saw she was still holdin' Judith. She looked up at me and smiled.

I walked up behind her when she put Judith in her crib. I put my arms around her and my head on her shoulder.

"I wish things were different and the world wasn't messed up. I wish it was the way it used to be," she whispered.

"I don't. "

She turned in my arms and kissed me, "Why not?"

"I'm not sayin' I like how messed up things are but if none of this had happened, I wouldn't have you, Judith, the baby or anyone else in our family."

We sat down on the bed and I held her for a little while before she pulled away and looked at me, "I talked to Maggie earlier," she looked down, "She said we need to cool it for a while because everyone has noticed when we're not around."

"Come here, baby."

She leaned back into my arms, "I don't wanna do that."

"I know. I hate to do that too but I think she's right, baby. I've seen the way they look at me. Like they're waitin' for me to slip up and hurt you." I kissed her head, "We just have to do that for a few days. It's not like we won't get to see each other. We'll still get some time to ourselves at night when I get off watch."

She pulled away again, "If you say so." She grinned and lied back on the bed.

I pulled her shirt up over her stomach and kissed it, "I can't wait 'til he gets here. I bet he looks just like his mama."

"I hope he does. I don't like to think about who else he could look like," she said.

I put my hand on her stomach and leaned up to kiss her. She pulled me closer and moaned as our kiss deepened.

She giggled and closed her eyes when I moved down to her neck.

I brought my hand up and pulled the top of her shirt out of the way as I kissed my way to her breasts then I moved my hand back down to her stomach and rubbed it.

"Rick!" Someone called out from the common room.

"Fuck!" I whispered against her skin.

Her arms fell to her sides and she opened her eyes.

"I'm sorry, baby," I whispered.

She kissed me, "It's okay. You better go before they come in here."

I nodded and kissed her forehead, "I'll see you tonight."

* * *

 **Beth** -

"So," Maggie was leanin' against the cell door after Rick had left, "I thought y'all weren't doin' anythin'."

"We didn't."

"Your face is red, Bethie." She smirked and walked over to the bed.

She stopped and brushed my hair away from my neck, "I'll be right back. Stay here," she said.

When she returned, she handed me a small bag. "It's makeup. Just use it to cover up the hickeys."

"Thanks."

"You don't have to thank me, that's what sisters are for."

"Yeah, I guess so."

She sat down, "Can I tell you somethin' and you not tell anyone?"

"Maggie, of course you can."

"Okay. Don't freak out..."

"Oh my God! You're pregnant!" I squealed.

"No!"

"Well then what is it?"

"Glenn wants kids."

"He does?!"

"Yeah. He said if you and Rick can raise kids here, than so can we but he wants to wait to try until after you have the baby."

"Why?"

"Because Rick has told us that after you have the baby and recover from it, he wants to start training you. He wants to do it in case somethin' happens to him, you'll be able to defend yourself and the kids."

"What does that have to do with you and Glenn havin' a baby?"

"If I were to get pregnant, I'm not completely sold on the idea yet though, but if I were, we'd need someone to take my place in defending the prison. And that someone would be you...you're the only one we all trust."

"Oh," I looked at the door, "why did they need Rick?"

"We're havin' trouble with the fence. The walkers are gettin' too heavy in a few spots and it's gonna cause the fence to cave if we don't fix it."

"Maggie, can I ask you somethin'?"

"Yeah."

"What's with Carol? I mean, I know she's lookin' out for me but why is she tryin' to keep me from Rick?"

"I'm not sure. The only time she's tried to talk to me about you and Rick is to get me to change my mind about y'all."

"Hmm. Okay," I got up and headed out of the cell.

"Where are you goin'?"

"I'm goin' to help Sarah. She's teaching some of the older kids and she wanted me to help with the younger ones."

"Alright but don't pick any of them up. We don't need you to hurt yourself."

"Yes ma'am," I said and rolled my eyes.

* * *

_**-Later that Day-** _

**Beth** -

I had gone down to the showers and when I returned Judith was on the bed giggling while Carl made funny faces.

"Hey mom!"

Though I still found it weird for him to call me that, it was startin' to grow on me.

"Hey back. What're you doin'?"

"Dad asked me to come talk to you. He said to tell you that him and Daryl are gonna be pullin' doubles for the next few nights so he won't get to see you and Judy much."

I was disappointed but I knew there had to be a good reason for it and if no one else was gonna tell me why, Carl would.

I sat down and took Judith's hand, "Why are they doin' that? Is somethin' wrong?"

He looked at Judith and shrugged, "I'm not sure but I heard dad and Daryl talkin' about The Governor. That's all I know."

I patted his leg, "You better get to bed. You're gonna have Judith all day tomorrow."

"Yes ma'am."

"Goodnight Judy," he kissed her. "Goodnight mom," he hugged me and kissed my cheek.

"Goodnight sweetie."

Carl had just left and I was about to pick up Judith when daddy walked in.

"Bethie, did he just call you mom?"

"Yes...yes sir."

He shook his head and sat down in a chair. "Are you feelin' well, Bethie?"

"Yes sir."

"Carol will perform your exam tomorrow with Sasha's help. If you need anything or feel like anything's wrong or any discomfort, at all, you need to tell them or someone."

"I will but honestly I don't feel like anythin's wrong or any discomfort."

"Alright, just scream if you need me."

I was listening for everyone to go to bed. When I thought they had, I quietly left my cell and was headed towards the common room when I heard whispers. They were comin' from the first cell. I stopped to listen.

"I'm worried about her," I heard daddy say.

"I'm worried about her too," Carol said.

What are they worried about?

Carol sighed, "I read those books. But if that's what's wrong, how do we make that choice? I'm not sure I can."

"Then don't." Daddy said, "You said before you had concerns about the baby, let's just pray nothin's wrong. If we need to..."

"If you need to, what?" I asked steppin' into the cell with them, "What? What's wrong with..." I couldn't even say it. Was there somethin' wrong? Was it me or the baby?

They both just stared at me, horrified.

Nobody said anything. I looked in Carol's eyes, "What's wrong with me and the baby? What is it y'all may have to do?"

Daddy grasped one of my hands while Carol took the other.

"Bethie, you were beaten really bad," she said, "I'm actually surprised you've made it this far. Have you felt the baby move lately? In the last day or two?"

"I've felt little things but nothin' big. Why?"

Daddy squeezed my hand, "There's a chance the baby may have to be delivered by c-section."

"And there's a chance I could end up like Lori?"

They both nodded silently.

"So the choice you said you'd have to make, it'd be me or the baby?"

"Yeah," Carol said, "I know what needs to be done if you need a c-section but there's a lot that we can't control."

"Choose him." I said.

"What?" They asked in unison.

"I said, choose him. That's the choice you make, if you have to."

"It's not that simple, Bethie. We could lose both of you," daddy said.

I finally stood up and returned to my cell without sayin' anything.

They had just told me the baby or myself may not make it. Sometimes I wish I had of been strong enough to end it back at the farm.

* * *


	31. Accusations

**Beth** -

I've been layin' in here forever it seems like. I've stared at the ceiling so long I could close my eyes and point out every crack and stain on it.

I had to do somethin' to get my mind off of what Carol and Sasha were doin'. I wasn't the least bit comfortable. Especially after findin' out somethin' could happen to us. I don't wanna end up like Lori...or worse, having to bury my own child.

"Okay sweetie, we're done," Carol said, "Do you wanna lie here a minute or go back to your cell?"

"Go back to my cell."

I saw the worry on her face and on Sasha's.

On my way out of the cell, I saw the gloves Carol had used. They were bloody.

Before I could ask about it, they both helped me to my cell without sayin' a word.

"Carol?"

"Yeah sweetie? "

"What's wrong with me?"

She sat down on the bed next to me and took my hand.

"Bethie, I'm not sure but you're...have you been noticing any bleeding?"

"A little but I didn't think it was anythin' to worry about 'cause it wasn't a lot."

She looked down at my hand, "Beth, for the rest of your pregnancy, you're on bed rest. No walkin' around too much, no helpin' Sarah with the kids and no lifting Judith. I'll make sure she's taken care of."

"Why?"

"I'm not entirely sure what's wrong but if it's what I think, it could've been treated before, but now, with the world like it is, it's not easily treatable. But if you take care of yourself, everything will be fine. So you need to stay in here and rest."

I sat there and started reading one of the pregnancy books to see if there was anything that could tell me what might be happening with me and the baby.

I went through it page by page but didn't see anything.

"Beth?" Sarah was standin' at my door.

I smiled, "Hey!"

She came in and sat down in the chair.

"How're you feelin'?" She asked.

"I'm not sure."

"Well, Carol told me you won't be helpin' me. I'm actually kind of glad you're on bed rest. I was afraid you'd end up passing out on me."

I grinned, "I like helpin' with the kids."

"I know you do but you need to rest. You'll have your own little one soon and you need to be healthy for her. I can take care of the kids on my own."

* * *

 **Rick** -

"Hey, Rick!" Carol called out to me, "I need to talk to you."

I walked over to her, "How's she doin?"

"Well, she's gonna be on bed rest for the remainder of her pregnancy. I'll help out with Judith as much as possible but you're gonna have to help take care of her. I don't want Beth lifting anything or any of the kids."

"Of course I'll help out but what's wrong with her?"

She crossed her arms, "Rick, this isn't easy to say but...Beth may...not...there's a good chance that we'll lose one or both of them."

My mouth went dry and I rubbed my face, "No." I backed up from her, "No, no. I...I can't lose them."

"Rick!"

What was I supposed to do? I could feel my body shuttin' down. If I lost Beth or the baby, I was afraid of what I'd do.

I ran to Beth's cell only to find her curled up on the bed cryin'.

She raised up and looked at me, "it's my fault."

"No baby. It ain't your fault, I sat down beside her, "these things happen but you're gonna be okay, both of you are."

"No, it is my fault. I didn't want the baby and now...this. It's my fault."

I pulled her close and held her, "No it's not and I never wanna hear you say that again. Okay?"

"Okay," she whispered but I knew she would still blame herself if somethin' happened.

* * *

_**-One week later-** _

**Beth** -

After breakfast, Carol came and got my dishes. This was only the seventh day of my confinement and it wasn't gonna get any better.

I picked up one of my books and stared at it. I'd already read it so I tossed it to the foot of the bed.

"You're supposed to respect books," Zach said, "can I come in?"

"Sure," I shrugged.

He sat down in the chair but didn't say anything.

"Is there somethin' you wanna talk about?"

He shrugged, "Why are you with him? Why not me?"

"Zach, I've told you, I like you as friend and that's it. Nothin' more, nothin' less."

"Beth," he moved towards me and smirked, "let's see if we can change that..." he pressed his lips to mine.

I pushed him away and stood up, "I'm not that kind of girl, Zach."

"Not that kind of girl?!" It scared me the way he kept his voice calm and even, "It sure seems like you are if you're willin' to get knocked up by some asshole that's old enough to be your dad. Besides, I just wanna mess around a little. You actually think I wanna put my dick in you while you're carrying that little bastard?" He laughed.

I was furious but all I could do was fight back tears, "My baby is not a bastard."

When he chuckled, I slapped him.

He just glared at me and for the first time I saw what Maggie and Carol saw in his eyes. It wasn't like everyone else. It almost reminded me of Shane and the Governor.

I backed up but before I could leave, he pushed me against the wall and his fist connected with my face.

I was too stunned to cry, "I'm not scared of you, Zach."

He got close to my face, "If you tell anyone I did that, I'll hurt you and that baby." Before I knew it, he was runnin' out of my cell.

A few minutes later, Carol, Sasha, Sarah and Daddy rushed in.

"Oh my God, Bethie," Carol moved me to the bed, "Sweetie, what happened? What did Rick do to you?"

"What?"

Carol put her hands on my shoulders, "Beth, has Rick raped you?"

"What!? No!" I tried to stand but she held me in place, "Why would you ask that? Rick hasn't touched me!" Okay, so I lied a little but did they really need to know that? Besides, he hasn't forced me into anything.

"Bethie, Zach and several others have told us they witnessed Rick forcing you to have sex with him," daddy said.

"Zach's lyin', they all are!"

"Why do you both disappear sometimes?" Daddy asked.

"So we can talk. Sometimes we don't even talk, we just sit there quietly with Judith or he...he holds me while I cry. That's it! Nothin's happened. Have you even considered the possibility that Zach isn't really a reliable source and neither are the other people. We don't know them."

Daddy looked at Carol and then me.

"Beth, I know you trust Rick but if he did somethin' to you, you need to tell us. How do we know you're not lyin' just to protect him," Carol said.

"Because I'm not! He hasn't done anythin' to me."

Daddy sighed, "Bethie, tell us the truth."

"I am! Zach is the one who hit me!"

Carol looked at me skeptically, "Zach hit you?"

"Yes! It wasn't Rick! Zach said if I told anyone he'd hurt me and the baby but I'm not scared of him."

Carol touched my cheek, it stung. "I'll be right back to clean that up."

Everyone left except for Sarah, she was holdin' Judith and brought her over to me, "I can't believe Zach hit you."

"Me either but he did."

When Judith started fussin', Sarah left.

I was alone again, sittin' there tryin' to sort out my thoughts when Carol came back in to look at my face.

"I want you to know, I never believed Zach but you can see why we have our concerns, right?"

"Yeah, I guess so. But Rick's never hurt me and he hasn't made me do anythin'. How long has Zach been tellin' you that?"

"A while. He told us once and then the others told us. It wasn't until today that Zach told us he saw it again." She stopped and put some ointment on the small cut on my cheek, "Beth, what do feel for Rick? Is it safety, happiness, lust, love? What is it?"

"I don't know. Everythin' maybe...I feel all of that and more. I've never felt like this, Carol." I got as close as I could to her, "Why are you doin' this? Why do you want to keep me away from Rick? Is it because you wanna be with him?"

She pulled her hands away from my face, "No Beth. I don't want to be with him but I do want to protect you. You're a child and he's a grown man. It's not right. If things were the way they used to be, Rick would be in jail." She looked down and wiped a few tears away, "Ed did things to Sophia that no father should ever do. I couldn't protect her from him, from the things he did but I can protect you, Beth."

"Carol, Rick isn't like that."

"I know but it doesn't change the fact that you're a child. What if you meet someone your own age and you want to be with them but you don't want to leave Rick? And what if Rick meets someone his age? Either way, you are the one who ends up hurt."

I really didn't know what to say. What if she was right? I wasn't thinkin' that far ahead. I still don't know if I actually love him or not. But I love bein' with him.

* * *

 **Rick** -

I watched as Daryl drug Zach out of his cell block, I was waitin' by the truck.

Hershel had told me what happened with Beth and agreed to let me deal with it.


	32. Let's Fight

**Rick** -

We left the prison. Daryl was in the bed of the truck with Zach. When I looked in the rear view mirror I saw Daryl had his crossbow aimed at Zach's head.

We continued down the road until we were far enough away from the prison that we wouldn't draw more walkers to it.

I stopped the truck and got out, Daryl pushed Zach out of the back. The boy didn't seem to be scared of what was gonna happen.

"C'mon boy, get ya ass up!" Daryl yelled at him.

He got up and just stared at us. He looked at me and smirked, "So both of y'all are fuckin' the little bitch, huh?"

I grabbed him by the throat and pushed him against a tree, "She's not a little bitch, she's my wife."

I took the restraints off of him and threw a punch.

He smiled so I punched him again and this time, he came at me. Knocking me to the ground.

He grabbed a rock and hit me in the face with it. That's when Daryl stepped in.

They both took a few swings at each other before I was able to get back up.

Zach was relentless, once I had gotten up, his fist connected with my cheek, before receiving a blow in the nose from Daryl.

Soon Zach was on the ground, Daryl on top of him, punching him over and over. This only caused my anger to grow. I should be the one on top of him for what he did to my Beth.

All I saw was red. I wasn't about to let Daryl handle this on his own.

I ran over and pulled him off Zach. Daryl's first reaction was to throw a fist at whoever had come at him from behind, but stopped when he realized it was me.

Daryl dropped his fist and I jumped on Zach. "She's mine!" I punched him.

"You hear me?! She's mine!" I threw another punch and then another. I kept goin' until his face was covered in blood and he was unconscious.

* * *

 **Beth** -

"Hey sweetie. How're feelin' today?" Sarah asked.

I shrugged, "As good as I can."

"Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie. But maybe these will make you feel a little better."

She handed me a stack of papers.

"They're some pictures the little kids drew for you. They wanted to make you feel better they can see you again."

I smiled as I looked through them, "Tell them I said they're all beautiful and thank you. They made me feel better."

She smiled too, "I will. Well, I'll go and let you rest."

"Hey Sarah."

"Yeah?"

"Do you have Judith today?"

"Yeah but right now she's with Carl. He agreed to watch her for me for a few minutes. You want him to bring her in here for a little bit?"

"Yes, please," I smiled.

"Alright. I'll send him in here."

After Sarah left my cell, I looked through the drawings again. There were a lot of butterflies, flowers and rainbows with the occasional stick figures. They were beautiful.

I looked them over and decided I wanted to hang a few up over Judith's crib and save a few to hang up for the baby. Just so they'd have something that was colorful, beautiful and almost as innocent as them instead of these gray prison walls.

* * *

 **Rick** -

I stood up and looked down at Zach.

"What'd ya wanna do?" Daryl asked.

I knew what everyone expected me to do but I couldn't do that. I was gonna handle things my way.

"We're gonna carry him back to the prison. Lock him up in cell block A," I finally said after a minute.

"Death row?"

"Yep. Death row. There's others there that were talkin' shit, too."

"We're gon' make an example out a 'im?"

"Yeah."

With that, we tied him back up and loaded him into the bed of the truck. I drove while Daryl sat in the passengers seat keepin' an on the back in case Zach woke up.

We rode in silence for a little while until Daryl spoke first.

"Ya know what ya called 'er?" He asked.

"Huh?"

He looked at me nervously, "ya called 'er ya wife."

I shrugged, "Didn't know I did."

After that, nothin' else was said until we got to the prison and had Zach locked away.

"I'm gonna go check on Beth. Do you mind tellin' the others what's goin' on?"

"Naw."

I was almost to Beth's cell when I heard her groan in pain. I hurried in.

Carol was beside Beth's bed adjusting some pillows.

"She okay?" I asked.

"She's fine," Carol said, "her ankles are swollen and she's just feelin' uncomfortable."

I leaned against the bars.

Carol looked at my hands, "When you'really finished in here, come see me. I'll clean up those cuts for you."

I nodded in agreement before she left.

Beth smiled at me wearily when I sat down in the chair next to her bed.

"Everythin' go okay?" She asked.

I took her hand, "Yeah. Everythin's fine."

"Good."

I smiled at her.

She looked at me funny, "What?"

"You're beautiful."

She huffed and closed her eyes.

I leaned over and pressed my lips to her forehead, "I mean it, baby. You're beautiful."

She gave me a slight smile but didn't open her eyes. I sat with her a few minutes until she had gone to sleep.

When I left, I immediately found Carol in the common room talking to Sasha. She looked up and motioned for me to sit down.

She had cleaned all the blood off my hands before either of us said a word.

"You shouldn't go on anymore runs and you need to stay close for a while," she finally said.

"Why?"

She smiled up at me, "it won't be much longer." She paused and grabbed a bandage, "Beth's gettin' very close. My guess would be anytime within the next few days or week. I don't think you should miss the birth of your child."

"I won't. I'll see if someone can cover my watch shifts and I'll stay with her."

She finished with the bandages and sat the roll back on the table, "She loves you, Rick. And I know you love her. I tried my best to keep her from getting hurt but after today, I know you won't hurt her. If you do, I'll kill you before Maggie, Hershel and Daryl have a chance to."

"Yes ma'am, but I'm not gonna hurt her," I looked at my hands and chuckled, "Daryl said I called her my wife today."

Carol started laughin', "Neither of you have said 'I love you' to the other but yet, you're husband and wife."

I furrowed my brow and stared at her.

"Sarah told some of the women from Woodbury that you and Beth are husband and wife. She said they kept goin' on about how you were only with her because she's pregnant and you won't want her after she has the baby. When she heard them sayin' that, she said it kind of ticked her off so she told them that y'all were married and had been together for a while before she got pregnant."

"Oh," was all I could say.

"Don't worry, Rick. Hershel and Maggie haven't heard any of that and neither has Beth."

Later that night we had everyone gather for a meeting. It wasn't gonna be like the rest. This time we had to give them bad news.

Once everyone was settled in their seats, I spoke to Daryl. Then turned my attention to the group.

Everyone looked to us nervously.

"Have all y'all heard about the situation with Zach?" I asked.

They all agreed that they had heard about the situation.

"Okay then, there's really only one thing to talk about," I looked at everyone, "Daryl and Merle...um...they might've found the Governor."

At the mention of the Governor the whole group exploded with questions.

When they settled down I looked to Daryl and he gave a nod.

"He ain't far from 'ere. Jus' an hour or so away," he told them, "from tha looks of it, he's got some people on 'is side an' more fire power than we got."

"So what are we gonna?" Maggie asked.

"We're gonna go after him. Even if they have more weapons than us, we have the element of surprise."

"When do we leave?" Michonne asked.

"Not for a couple days. We're not gonna rush into this. We're gonna make plans and go from there. We'll discuss things more tomorrow."

After the meeting was over I headed to Beth's cell only to be stopped by Maggie.

"I don't know what you're plannin' but you need to stay here," she said.

"Maggie, we'll discuss this further tomorrow. We'll decide then who stays and who goes."

I took a step but she blocked my way.

"Rick, please promise me you won't go. You need to stay here with Beth and your kids."

I rubbed my eyes, "I know that, Maggie."

"Then you'll stay? No matter what's said at the meeting, you'll stay?"

"Yeah."

I saw the look on her face. She didn't believe me and I sure as hell didn't believe myself.

I walked on to Beth's cell. The curtain was closed and I could hear her talkin' to someone and cryin'.

I pulled the curtain back. Carol immediately jumped up and pulled me away from her cell.

"What the hell's wrong with her?" I asked.

"She's in pain and _very_ emotional."

I raised my eyebrow, "Pain?"

"Oh, no, Rick. Not labor pain or anything, just pain. She has a headache and her back, feet and ankles are hurtin'."

She pulled at my arm, "I need you to help me gather up some extra pillows or blankets to prop her feet up."

I help her and then we both returned to Beth's cell. She was still cryin' but not as bad as she had been before.

We propped her up and helped her get into a more comfortable position. And when Carol left, I sat down in the chair and tried to rub her feet and legs.

"You don't have to do that. I'm fine," she told me.

"I may not have to but I want to. Carol said you could have the baby any day now."

"I know, she told me."

She laid back and started cryin' a little more.

I moved next to the head of the bed, "Hey, baby. I'm gonna be right here with you. You know that, right?"

"Yes," she cried, "I just...I never thought I'd be havin' a baby in a prison while there's...there's dead people walkin' 'round outside. None of this is how I pictured it!"

Carol was right, she was very emotional.

* * *

_**-The Next Day-** _

**Rick** -

We were all up before the sun and before the people from Woodbury but we had a lot to work out.

Before any of us went about our day, we were gonna go over a few plans.

Daryl and Merle had already scouted several different routes we could take to and from The Governor's camp, along with potential hideouts.

That was the first thing we talked about. The next was a bit tough.

I had already told Maggie I wouldn't go and I hated to leave Carl, Judith and Beth, especially with her so close but I had to go.

"Who are you carrying?" Michonne asked.

"Daryl, Tyreese, you and me," I told her, "that leaves Sasha, Maggie, Glenn and Merle in charge of defenses here. Karen's agreed to look after everyone from Woodbury. And Hershel, Carol and Sarah are gonna take Beth and the kids away from here in case...in case we don't make it back."

Hershel looked over the maps of places close by to take Beth and the kids. He pointed out a place they'd go and a backup.

"We still need to prepare for this more but knowin' that little bit helps," Michonne replied.

"It does," Hershel said.

Everyone seemed to agree with those details of the plan, everyone except Maggie and Carol.

Carol was just upset that I had decided to go but Maggie was clearly pissed.

"There's more to discuss but we got stuff that needs to be done. We're not gonna rush into this so we'll talk more later," I told everyone and we all went our separate ways.

I headed towards the administration offices when I heard footsteps behind me.

I didn't have to turn around to know who they belonged to but I did anyway.

Maggie stood there, tears in her eyes and both fists clenched.

* * *


	33. Now It Only Hurts

**Rick** -

_"Just hit me if that's what you wanna do," I said._

_"What?"_

_"If it'll make you feel better, hit me," I told Maggie, "Lord knows I deserve it."_

_She clenched her fists, "As much as I want to, I know it won't change anythin'. But Rick, you didn't have to volunteer. My sister needs you!"_

_I took a step closer to her, "Maggie, I know but I'm tryin' to protect her."_

_Maggie stared at me with tears still in her eyes. Then suddenly she drew back and hit me._

_I didn't try to stop her. It was what she needed to do to deal with this._

_"Oh my God, Rick!" Beth practically jump up when I walked into her cell after talkin' with Maggie, "What happened?"_

_"Nothin' you need to worry about, baby."_

_She motioned for me to come closer and I did._

_I sat down next to her and wrapped my arms around her._

_"Beth, some things are gonna happen in a few days and I'm gonna go help with it..."_

_She pulled away and looked at me confused._

_"If you end up havin' the baby while im gone, I want you to know that I wanted to be there."_

_She smiled softly and kissed me, "you're not gonna miss it. I'm sure he'll wait to come until his daddy is with us."_

_I smiled back and pulled her closer to me._

Now here I was, three days later, with Michonne, Daryl and Tyreese and we were on our way to The Governor's camp.

* * *

**Beth** -

No one told me what was goin' on with The Governor or that Rick had gone with them until Sarah and Carol came to help me to the car.

Daddy was in the passenger seat while Carol drove. Carol was in the back between me and Sarah and she was holdin' Judith.

I didn't want to tell them that I felt like somethin' was gonna go wrong. I'm not sayin' I'm psychic or anythin', I just have a bad feelin' about things.

I didn't know where we were goin' and everythin' was beginning to get to me. I felt a few tears fall before I busted out cryin'.

Sarah reached over and rubbed my back, "Shh, sweetie. Everythin's gonna be okay."

It didn't help and neither did the fact that Judith started cryin' too.

"Mom," Carl whispered and grabbed my hand, "we're gonna be okay, so is dad. They're gonna do what they have to then we can go back to the prison."

I nodded but kept cryin'.

It was at least an hour or two before we got to the "safe house" as Sarah had called it.

* * *

**Rick** -

We finally came upon The Governors camp only to find they were no longer there.

All that remained was a few run down cars and their attempt at a fence.

"They left in a hurry," Tyreese said, pointing to the tire tracks.

"Fuck!" Daryl all but yelled.

We started back towards the prison when heard the moans of walkers and soon we were surrounded.

There were too many walkers for us to deal with on our own. It was apparent that we had walked right into a trap.

We stabbed at a few of the walkers that got too close but we couldn't take get away from them without firin' our guns. We hated to do that and waste our bullets but we had to.

* * *

**Beth** -

When we walked into the house, it was fully stocked with everything we'd need in case I had the baby.

I actually felt a little relieved to know that they had this planned out. Maybe I was wrong for thinkin' somethin' would go wrong.

Daddy, Sarah and Carol stayed in the front room of the house with Judith and Carl after helpin' me into the little bedroom.

I didn't want to be separated from them but I liked how quiet it was.

There was a knock on the bedroom door and then it was cracked open.

"Mom?" Carl whispered.

"Yeah?"

He opened the door all the way and came in.

His eyes were red and his face was stained with tears.

I patted the bed next to me and he climbed in.

"What's wrong, Carl?"

"What if dad doesn't come back?"

"He will," I tried to force a smile.

He looked down and started cryin'.

"Hey, you gotta have faith. He'll come back to us."

* * *

_**-Two Days Later-** _

**Beth** -

We were all gettin' really worried.

It's been two days and there hasn't been any sign of Rick or anyone else. We don't know what happened or if anything happened.

* * *

**Rick** -

"Rick!" Michonne called out. She was trapped.

Daryl and Tyreese were tryin' to lead the walkers away from us but it wasn't workin'.

I started towards Michonne when felt a blinding pain in my chest and I hit the ground.

Someone rolled me over so I was on my back. I could hear several people talkin' and when I opened my eyes, The Governor was standin' over me.

"Did you think I didn't know y'all were comin'? I've been watchin' y'all. Every move you make, everything y'all do, I know about it," he laughed.

He knelt down, "I have people watchin' that pretty little girl of yours, too."

I reached for my knife but it wasn't there.

The Governor stood up and smiled, We'll be takin' Michonne with..."

A shot rang out and The Governor fell.

"Rick? Can you hear me?" Michonne was leanin' over me in the bed of a truck.

I groaned.

"Ty, drive faster!" She yelled.

She looked down at me, "Daryl went to get everyone from the safe house. They should be at the prison when we get back."

The whole ride I was in and out of it. I could feel the blood pourin' out of my chest, my head was spinnin' and my vision became blurry.

We had just got back to the prison when I was rushed inside.

"He's been shot," Tyreese told them.

"Where's Hershel?" Michonne asked.

I saw Glenn's face turn pale and he was shakin'.

"Follow me," he said nervously.

We entered the cell block to find Maggie outside one of the cells. She was on her knees cryin' hysterically, her hands were covered in blood and she was clutching somethin' to her chest.

_The same as she had when Lori..._

"It's Beth," Glenn told us.

Tyreese and Michonne grabbed me before I could hit the floor.

I couldn't say anything.

They pulled me into the cell with Beth.

I knelt down next to her and put my forehead on hers. She was pale and I couldn't tell if she was breathin' or not.

I kissed her lips, they were cold.

"No," I cried.

I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Rick," Maggie cried. Somehow I managed to stand up next to her. She was shakin' as she shoved what she'd been holdin' into my arms and mumbled somethin'.

Sasha came up behind her and pulled her out of the cell.

"No, I'm not leavin' my sister!" She cried out.

"Rick," Carol was now standing in front of me, "take the baby to Hershel."

"Wha..what? Baby?"

"The one you're holdin'. I'm so sorry, Rick. Beth...she...she didn't make it."

_She didn't make it. Beth didn't make. She's gone. Dead, just like Lori._

Next thing I remember I was layin' on the bed in my cell with Hershel sittin' next to me.

Tyreese and Daryl were holdin' me down while he removed the bullet from my chest.

I could hear a baby cryin'.

Then nothin'.

I passed out from the pain.

 


	34. Love You With All My Heart

**Rick** -

_"I'm so sorry, Rick. Beth...she...she didn't make it."_

I woke up in a panic, clawing at the sheets and covered in sweat. I couldn't breath.

I was tryin' to pull myself up off the bed when I was pushed back down.

"No, son. You need to rest," Hershel calmly spoke.

"No, I need to...," my mouth was dry and there was a lump in my throat.

"Beth," I whispered hoarsely.

_She didn't make it. Beth didn't make. She's gone. Dead, just like Lori._

"You were shot, Rick. You're not leavin' this cell," Hershel spoke again.

I pulled myself up and groaned when the pain shot through my entire body and my head started spinnin' again.

Hershel tried to make me lay back down but I was determined to get up.

"Daryl, Tyreese!" Hershel called out.

Both of them came into the cell just as I got to my feet

"C'mon man, ya gotta stay in 'ere," Daryl said.

He and Tyreese each grabbed one of my arms and tried to pull me back down onto the bed.

"Beth," I whispered.

"No, you're stayin' in here," Tyreese spoke.

I pushed past them and stumbled into the cell block and over to Beth's cell. It was empty.

I leaned against the bars and closed my eyes. "Fuck!"

I stumbled into the common room, she wasn't there.

"Rick," Hershel called me, "you need to rest."

Daryl and Tyreese were close by, watchin' me.

I made my way outside but I didn't see her.

"Beth!" I called out.

"Beth!"

"Rick?" I heard her callin' my name.

I turned around to see her standin' by a table in the courtyard.

"Rick, what are you doin up?"

I rushed to her, almost fallin'.

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into a kiss.

"I love you, Beth."

Her eyes grew wide and she smiled, "I love you, too."

"You're still pregnant," I sighed in relief.

"Of course I am. I told you he would wait until his daddy was with us."

I put my forehead on hers and closed my eyes.

"Rick, seriously, what are you doin' up? You should be restin'."

"I...I thought I lost you," I whispered.

"But you didn't and you won't," she smiled.

"Marry me?" I said without thinkin'.

I heard everyone around us gasp and start mumbling. I had forgotten they were there.

She pressed her lips to mine, "Yes!"

"Oh my God!" We heard someone next to us say.

We looked over to see Maggie and Carol cryin' and Carl and Hershel both had huge smiles.

"Now will you go back to bed? You really do need to rest," Beth said pleadingly.

I took her hand, "So do you."

* * *

**Beth** -

When Rick made it back to his cell, he was in so much pain that daddy had to give him some of the medicine they were saving for me.

Maggie and Carol helped me to mine. They were both smilin'.

"What?" I asked.

"Rick really does love you, Bethie," Carol said.

I smiled, "I know he does."

"He asked you to marry him!" Maggie cried.

I raised my eyebrow. "And I'm the one that's emotional," I said a little sarcastically.

"Hey, my little sister is havin' a baby and gettin' married, I'm allowed to be emotional."

We both laughed.

"Get some rest, sweetie."

When they left, I went to Rick's cell.

"Hey baby," he groaned and scooted over.

I laid down next to him with my head on his chest.

"Will you sing somethin' for me?" He asked.

"Yeah, what'd you wanna hear?"

"Anythin'."

I thought for a minute before deciding on a song.

_"I can feel you watchin', I can feel your eyes on me I can hear you whisper and I just get so weak But I'm a little bit scared, it's been a long time Since I let my guard down and let someone inside You don't need to wonder 'cause tonight you'll get it all_

_When the night closes in, I'm gonna pull you so close Hold you so tight, gonna let it all go And you can do what you want, you can take me right here 'Cause I knew from the start I was gonna love you with all my heart_

_You take my hand now and I'm ready to begin Though it makes me crazy when your fingers touch my skin And I know what you want and you know what I need There's no reason to pretend that we don't know what this means_

_'Cause when the night closes in, gonna pull you so close Hold you so tight, gonna let it all go And you can do what you want, you can take me right here 'Cause I knew from the start I was gonna love you with all my heart_

_I'm gonna rock you, baby and take away your maybe And you could rest here in these open arms, yeah_

_'Cause when the night closes in, gonna pull you so close Gonna hold you so tight, gonna let it all go And you can do what you want, you can take me right here 'Cause I knew from the start I was gonnalove you with all my heart Ooh baby, I was gonna love you with all my heart Ooh yeah, I was gonna love you with all my heart_

_I can feel you watchin', I can feel your eyes on me"_

_["Love You With All My Heart" by Sara Evans]_

"That was perfect, baby," he said when I finished.

I looked up at him and smiled, "it's how I feel about you."

He smiled and kissed me, "I love you."

"I love you, too, Rick."

We laid there in a comfortable silence for a few minutes.

"Rick?"

"Yeah?"

"What'd you mean, you thought you lost me?"

"Nothin', baby. Just a bad dream."

"Everythin's gonna be fine, Rick."

He sighed, "why were you outside?"

"Carol had me walkin' around. She said it might help speed things up a little."

He put his hand on my stomach and it didn't take long until we were both asleep.

 


	35. No Need To Worry

**Beth** -

I woke up thinkin' about Rick askin' me to marry him and the baby we'd be havin' soon. I was excited, scared and a little sad. The sadness was mostly because I missed my mama and Shawn. I had always thought they'd be here to see all of this.

Actually, 'soon' may have been the wrong word considering it's been five days since Rick asked me to marry him and I still haven't had the baby yet. The only word to describe how I'm feelin' about that is uncomfortable and that doesn't even do it justice. I'm miserable.

The prison was dark and Rick's arm was around me.

I moved his arm and groaned when I sat up.

I've tried almost everything Carol has suggested except for one and I really don't want to do that.

I jumped when I felt Rick's hand on my back.

"Sorry," he mumbled, "you feelin' okay?"

"What the hell do you think?!" I snapped at him.

He chuckled and sat up, "C'mon, mama, we'll go for a walk."

I glared at him. I cannot believe he just called me mama!

He smirked when he saw the look on my face.

We both climbed off the bed and put our shoes on.

We quietly walked out of the prison and over to the courtyard.

My feet and ankles are swollen so it wasn't easy for me to walk and I wasn't walkin' very fast.

We made a few laps around the courtyard before I had to sit down. I just couldn't walk anymore and I couldn't hold back my tears.

Rick sat down beside me, "What's wrong, baby?"

"I'm tired," I cried, "why is it takin' so long?"

"It just is. He'll come when he's ready."

I pouted, "I want him here now!"

"I know you do," he smiled, "I think everyone wants him here now."

He put his arms around me and held me before we walked around the courtyard again.

I had just laid back down and gotten comfortable when the sun started comin' up.

"How are you feelin', Bethie?" Daddy asked.

I opened my eyes and gave him a little smile, "I'm fine, daddy."

He smiled and left.

I closed my eyes again and yawned when Maggie came in, "Hey," she started.

"Don't ask me how I'm feelin', Maggie. I'm fine."

"Okay," she held her hands up, "I actually came to see if you were hungry or if you needed anythin'."

"I am kinda hungry but I can get me somethin'."

"No, you stay here. I'll bring it to you."

"Maggie, I need to walk anyway. I'll be in there in a little while."

After she left, I was relieved when no one else came by my cell.

I was so tired but I closed my eyes and slipped my hand into my panties.

"Not what I was expectin' to see," Rick said, making me jump.

I quickly removed my hand and could feel myself blushing.

"I...I was just...I...," I stumbled over my words.

Rick chuckled, "You don't have to explain anythin' to me. Sit up."

He walked over to the bed and sat down and handed me a bowl of soup. I felt myself blush even more when he smiled at me.

"You're pregnant, Bethie. There's no need to be embarrassed, especially in front of me."

I smiled, "I just thought that maybe it'd help. Carol suggested havin'...um...sex to help things but I'm not ready for that."

He leaned over and kissed my forehead, "He'll come when he's ready. You just need to rest and quit worryin' about things."

"Do you really think it's a boy?" I asked.

"I'm not sure but we need to pick out some names soon."

He picked up the name book I had and started callin' out names while I ate.

"Hey," Carol pulled the curtain back, "I'm sorry to interrupt y'all but do you mind watchin' Judy for a little bit, Bethie?"

"No ma'am, I don't mind," I smiled when she brought her to me along with a few bottles and diapers.

"I'll come get her as soon as I finish the laundry," she said.

Rick smiled at us and kissed Judith's cheek.

"Be good for your mama, baby girl," he whispered to her.

"I'm gonna go check the fences. I'll be back to check on y'all in a little while," he said before kissing me, "Love y'all."

"Love you, too."

I laid Judith down and started playin' with her.

Hearing her giggle and seein' her smile was heartwarming for me.

It just made me wish the baby was here already.

I fed and changed her and watched her eyes close but when I laid her down she started fussin'.

_"Same old place Same old city What can I do? I'm fallin' in love_

_I'm just an old hound dog Roaming around, oh lord I've got all this, and heaven above_

_Oh, Atlanta I hear you calling I'm coming back to you one fine day No need to worry There ain't no hurry 'cause I'm On my way back to Georgia On my way back to Georgia_

_I get a feelin' in me When I remember all those crazy days and crazier nights Can't you hear the music playin? You must have heard them saying We're gonna rip 'em up and light up the night_

_Oh, Atlanta I hear you calling I' coming back to you one fine day No need to worry worry There ain't no hurry 'cause I'm On my way back to Georgia On my way back to Georgia_

_Same old place Same old city What can I do? I'm falling in love_

_Oh, Atlanta I hear you calling I'm coming back to you One fine day No need to worry 'cause I'm On my way back to Georgia On my way back to Georgia_

_Oh, Atlanta Hear me calling I'm coming back to you one fine day, hey No need to worry There ain't no hurry 'cause I'm On my way back to Georgia"_

_["Oh, Atlanta" by Allison Krauss]_

* * *

After Judith finally settled down, I was able to get some sleep.

Maggie brought me lunch and helped me with Judith.

"I heard you and Rick haven't picked out names yet," she said with a smile.

"Yeah. We haven't. Me, him and Carl all like different names."

"What about Annette? After your mom if it's a girl and for a boy, name him after Rick or someone that's important to both of you."

"I love Annette and Shawn. Those are my picks," I said.

"Well, maybe y'all should get everyone to vote on names," she laughed a little.

Sometime after Maggie left, I fell asleep again. I knew I was tired but I didn't realize I was this tired.

I kept waking up from bad dreams though.

What if I did end up like Lori? That'd just leave another baby for everyone to take care of.

Another thing that entered my mind was the baby not making it.

I squeezed my eyes shut and tried my best to push that thought out of my head.

"Hey, baby girl," Rick said, picking Judith up and making me jump a little.

"You have got to quit doin' that," I told him.

"I'm sorry, baby," he sat down next to me with Judith, "I didn't know you were so jumpy."

I rolled my eyes and sat up.

"What time is it?" I asked, looking around.

"Late. You practically slept all day."

I groaned, "I feel like I could sleep forever."

"I'm gonna go see if the foods done," he handed Judith to me, "I'll be right back."

"Hey, mom," Carl came runnin' into the cell followed by Rick.

They both sat down and they each pulled out a piece of paper and handed them to me.

"We both wrote down the names we like but the final choice is up to you," Rick said.

I looked over the lists and smiled, "Do I have to decide right now?"

"Yes!" Carl said excitedly.

"No," Rick chuckled, "you don't have to decide right now. Just take your time."

While I was eating, I looked over lists they gave me and the list I had made. There were a few names that we all three liked for boys and none for girls.

Later that night, Carol took Judith and Rick ad I settled in.

It didn't take long for him to go to sleep for the night but I was too uncomfortable but I finally managed to go to sleep.

I woke up to a sharp pain. It hurt so bad I couldn't help but scream.

Rick jumped up and hit his head on the top bunk.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know," I cried.

He sat down and then stood back up and pulled the covers off of me. That's when I noticed the bed was a little wet.

"Baby, I think your water broke," he said with a huge smile.


	36. Lullaby: Part I

**Part I**

**Rick** -

I knew Beth was next to me when I went to sleep but when I heard her scream, it scared me.

I immediately jumped up.

"Fuck!" I mumbled when I hit my head on the top bunk.

I panicked, "What's wrong?"

"I don't know," she cried.

When I sat down on the bed next to her I felt somethin' wet. I stood back up and pulled the covers off the bed. Sure enough, the bed was a little wet.

"Baby, I think your water broke," I said.

I couldn't help the huge smile that was splattered on my face.

Just as I reached out my hand to her, Hershel and Carol rushed to the doorway.

"Bethie, what's the matter?" Hershel asked her.

She was cryin' and clenched the blanket in her fists.

Carol stepped into the cell and put her hand over her mouth, "Oh my God, sweetie, your water broke," she turned to me, "can you get her into the other cell while I get Maggie and Sasha."

I nodded and reached out for her again.

She took my hand and stood up. I wrapped my arms around her and led her down to the cell they had set up as a delivery room.

Carol, Maggie and Sasha all rushed in a few minutes later.

Carol and Maggie examined her while Sasha prepared any medication they may need.

Suddenly, Beth squeezed my hand and screamed.

"The fuck's goin' on in 'ere? Y'all got Asskicker cryin'," Daryl said as he and Carl approached the cell. Thankfully Beth was covered up.

"Carl, can you keep an eye on Judith?"

"Yeah, but what's goin' on?"

"Beth's havin' the baby," Maggie told him with a smile.

Daryl patted him on the shoulder, "C'mon. We'll take Asskicker on watch with us."

Hershel was the next one to come to the cell. I stepped outside the cell with Sasha, Carol and Maggie so he could talk to Beth.

Almost everyone was up by now but no one else came by because they didn't want to bother her.

The sun had been up for nearly two hours when they examined her again.

"She's still not fully dilated yet," Carol said.

Beth was cryin' and covered in sweat. I moved so Maggie could sit next to her and pull her hair up.

Sasha and Carol continued on with whatever they had to do while me and Maggie sat with Beth.

"Rick?"

"Yeah, baby?"

She didn't say anything, she just started to cry harder.

We helped her sit up and I sat on the bed behind her with my arms wrapped around her.

"You're gonna be okay," I whispered and kissed her temple.

I felt her relax a little and saw her eyes close.

It didn't last long. She squeezed my hand until her fingernails drew blood and gritted her teeth.

"Aaaaagggh!" She screamed in pain.

Maggie stared at our hands. "Do you want a pair of gloves?" She asked me.

"No," I shook my head and smiled at her, "I'm fine."

She picked up somethin' and started fanning Beth with it until she relaxed again.

We sat there for a couple of hours before Carol and Sasha came back in and checked her again.

She patted Beth's leg, "You're not there yet, sweetie," she looked at me and Maggie, "y'all need to eat. I've already fixed y'all plates, they're in the common room."

We both told her we were fine but she insisted we go eat and she and Sasha would stay with Beth.

We found our plates in the common room and ate in silence until Hershel came in.

"How's Bethie doin'?" He asked.

We both shrugged.

"She's in pain," I said.

"Well, she can't have anythin' yet. When she can, it may not take the pain away or do nearly as good as an epidural would but she should be fine."

"She's tougher than she looks," Maggie said.

I walked over and stared into the cell block, "I'm gonna go check on Carl and Judith. I'll be right back."

I made my way outside to the courtyard and found Carl and Judith with Sarah, Karen and Michonne.

Carl jumped up from his seat when he saw me, "Is he here yet?"

I shook my head, "Not yet."

"What are you doin' out here?" Glenn asked, approaching us.

"She hasn't had him yet."

Glenn smiled, "Yeah, you keep sayin' "him" but I bet it's a girl."

"We'll see," I smiled, "y'all good here?"

Michonne nudged my shoulder, "Get inside. We're fine out here."

I nodded and went back inside.

* * *

 **Beth** -

"Oh God! Where is he?" I cried and screamed.

I've never felt so much pain. I was sure I was dyin'.

"He went to check on Carl and Judith," Maggie said.

I gritted my teeth. "Go get him!" I yelled.

"I'm right here, Bethie," he said, walking into the cell.

He sat down behind me and started rubbin' my back.

Sasha handed me a bottle of water and her and Maggie started fanning me with somethin'.

I thought it was bad waitin' for the baby but I was wrong, this is bad.

No matter how happy I am, I didn't want this. I didn't want Shane and I sure as hell didn't want him to do what he did. I started cryin' again just thinkin' about that and how I wished it had happened differently.

* * *

 **Rick** -

Beth closed her eyes and leaned back and rested her head on my shoulder.

"I can't do this," she whispered.

"Yes you can, baby. You're almost done," I whispered back.

She put her hand on my leg and squeezed, diggin' her nails into me. "Almost done?" She growled, "You wanna try havin' a baby?!"

"Bethie, calm down," Maggie chuckled.

She gave her a "go to hell" look and screamed as she had another contraction.

Maggie, Carol and Sasha were all timing her contractions but nothin' seemed to be progressing.

* * *

_**-Later That Night-** _

**Rick** -

Everyone was tired, especially Beth, but they were all gathered in the common room waiting patiently.

Well, almost everyone was. Carl was pacing and kept askin' if he had a brother or sister yet. He was drivin' everyone crazy so Daryl and Hershel sent him outside to join Merle on watch with the promise they'd come get him as soon as somethin' happened.

"How much longer?" Beth asked Carol.

"Well, you're only at 7 centimeters. It could be a while. Just remember to breath," she handed me a wet washrag and I started wipin' Beth's face, neck and arms with it.

Sasha and Maggie came over and handed Beth some medicine and water.

"Daddy said these will help with the pain," Maggie said.

Beth took them and leaned back against me, closing her eyes again.

"We're gonna step outside," Sasha said. She, Maggie and Carol left the cell but didn't go too far.

I kissed Beth's cheek and her neck. "Just rest, baby," I whispered.

She nodded but gripped my hands tighter and screamed.

We sat there for hours with Maggie, Carol and Sasha comin' in every little bit to check on her.

"Hershel has everything set up for the baby," Carol told us before she examined Beth.

"You're up to 9, sweetie," she smiled at us but Beth kept her eyes closed and tried to breath calmly.

"We'll come back in about 30 minutes to check her again," she said before leavin'.

Beth wiggled in my arms before sittin' up.

"What time is it?" She asked.

I looked at my watch, "10."

"10!" She groaned and fell back against me, "I can't do this much longer."

Carol finally came back in but said she was gonna give it another 30 minutes.

Two hours later, Carol checked again.

She smiled at us then called for Sasha and Maggie.

"You're ready!" She told Beth excitedly.

Maggie and Sasha came in and took their positions and Beth squeezed my hands.

"Okay, Bethie. Push," Carol told her.

"Aaagggghhh!" She screamed.

She kept pushin' whenever Carol told her to and it seemed like it took forever but it didn't.

Beth started cryin' when we heard the baby cry for the first time.

"You did it, baby," I whispered and kissed her.

She kept cryin' but smiled.

Carol handed the baby to Maggie who in turn walked over to me with a huge smile. She looked down at the baby, "Daddy's gonna take you to see grandpa while we clean mommy up," she cooed before placing the baby in my arms.

"After Hershel finishes the check up and we get Beth cleaned up and ready, bring the baby back in here so she can feed him," Carol said.

I nodded in agreement and then left the cell.

Once I was in the common room, I stopped and smiled at everyone, "It's a boy!"

Hershel took the baby and performed an exam and cleaned him up. "He's as healthy as can be," Hershel said before handing him back to me. Everyone came over and took turns holding him. When it was Carl's turn, he smiled and carried him over to Judith, who was in Daryl's arms.

"Look Judy, we have a baby brother. Me and him are gonna protect you and mama."

Daryl raised an eyebrow, "Mama?"

"Well, yeah, Beth's his mama and she takes care of Judy. She's gonna be called mama."

Daryl chuckled, "Aight."

Carl handed the baby back to me before takin' Judith from Daryl and he sat down next to Hershel.

Just as I was about to sit down, Sasha came running in. She was out of breath and tears stained her face.

"Rick," she breathed heavily, "You need to come with me. We need you."

I froze as images of finding Lori flashed through my head.

_"This can't be happenin'," I thought to myself, "not again."_

* * *


	37. Lullaby: Part II

**Part II**

**Rick** -

Daryl came over and took the baby out of my arms and he started fussing, "Shh...uncle Daryl's got ya."

Sasha came closer to me, "Rick, did you hear me? Come on, we need you."

She pulled at my arm but I couldn't move. Everything was a blur when I finally did.

The last thing I heard before walking into the cell Beth was in was my own heartbeat rising in my ears

I knelt down next to Beth and put my forehead on hers, "Hey baby."

She didn't say anything, just kept breathing to calm herself down.

"What's wrong with her?" I asked.

"I had to give her something else for pain," Sasha said.

"Why?"

"The baby's breech and I have to turn it," Carol told me.

"Wha..what? Baby?"

Maggie nodded, "Twins."

I felt Beth grab my hand, "Rick? It hurts," she slurred.

"It's okay, baby. I'm here and I'm not leavin' you," I kissed her, "I love you, Beth."

She squeezed my hand, "I love you too, Rick."

"Rick," Carol said, "this isn't like before. I'm gonna need your help. Sasha is gonna hold Beth's hand while you and Maggie help me. Okay?"

I nodded and let go of Beth's hand.

"No," she said.

"Beth, I'm gonna be right here. I'm not leavin', Carol needs me to help her. Sasha's here."

She nodded and grabbed Sasha's hand.

"Are you sure you can do this?" I asked Carol.

"As sure as I can be. Hershel had me read up on everything that could happen in case it did," she looked in my eyes, "Rick, if we can't get the baby turned, I'll have to perform a c-section."

Carol proceeded to walk us through what we needed to do. "Stop," she said, "the baby's almost there."

I could see her hands movin' but I didn't know what she was doin' and I really didn't care as long as Beth and the baby were alright.

"Okay, continue doin' what y'all were. Just need him to turn a little more and then he can be delivered."

"We're almost there, Beth," Carol said to her, "I want you to push when I tell you to. Can you do that for me, sweetie?"

"Yes," Beth practically screamed.

"Okay, now Beth. Push sweetie."

"Aagghhh!" Beth screamed.

"Keep pushin', Bethie."

"I can't," she cried out.

I looked at Carol and as soon as she gave me a quick nod, I was back at Beth's side.

"It's okay baby," I whispered, "you're doin' good."

"One more push, Beth. That's all we need," Carol said, "just one more push."

Beth grabbed me and screamed as she pushed one last time.

Maggie gasped, "oh my God, Bethie." She started cryin'.

"Maggie. What's wrong?" I asked her.

"Nothin', nothin's wrong. She's absolutely beautiful, just like her mama."

I laughed and layed my head against Beth's, "We have a daughter, Beth, and a son," I whispered.

"Is it over? Am I done?" She breathed out heavily.

I looked to Carol, "She's done."

"Are you sure?" I asked incredulously.

She smiled, "I'm sure. You wanna take baby girl to get checked out?"

I took the baby from Sasha and made the walk back to the common room. When I walked in, all eyes were on me.

"It's a girl."

Carl ran to me, "Twins?"

"Yeah, twins."

He smiled like he never has before, "I have two sisters and a brother," he said to himself. "Can I hold her?"

"Let Hershel check her out first, then you can."

He smiled, "Woohoo! I have two sisters and brother!"

Everyone smiled and laughed.

I carried her to Hershel and he cleaned her up and examined her just like he did with her brother.

"She's healthy too," he smiled and wrapped her in a blanket before handing her back to me.

Daryl walked over holdin' the baby while Glenn held Judith.

"They got names yet?" Tyreese asked.

I shook my head, "No. We haven't decided on any yet."

"Rick, Daryl. She's cleaned up. Bring the babies in," Sasha called out to us.

We walked into the cell and Daryl handed the baby boy to Maggie before leavin'. I handed the baby girl to Carol so she could help Beth get ready to nurse and then she got the boy and situated him in Beth's arms as well.

I pulled a chair up by Beth and watched the babies.

"This certainly explains a lot," Carol chuckled, Beth looked at her questioningly.

Carol smiled, "I read everything and all the signs were there but I missed them."

"We all did," Maggie said.

We all looked at her.

"What?" she said, "I read the books too. I wanted to make sure my sister would be safe."

"Thank you, Maggie," Beth smiled at her, "thank you too, Carol and tell Sasha I said thank you."

They nodded. "We'll be back in a little bit to check on y'all," Carol said, then they left.

"We have to name them," I whispered to Beth.

"Yeah, I know." She smiled down at the babies, "Do we have to decide right now?"

"No, we can wait a while."

I leaned over and kissed both babies and then Beth, "I love you."

She smiled again, "I love you, too."

A little while later, Carol and Maggie came in to check on Beth and the babies.

Maggie held Beth's hand and smiled.

"Y'all really need to name these angels before Daryl decides to name them," Carol laughed.

I was holdin' the baby girl while Beth held the baby boy. She looked at both of them and then at me.

"Hey Maggie, there's a journal in my cell on the top bunk, can you bring it to me and ask Carl to come in here?" Beth asked.

"Yeah, I'll be right back," Maggie told her.

Carl came runnin' into the cell with a huge smile still on his face and Maggie was right behind him.

Maggie left us alone in the cell after she gave Beth her journal.

Beth handed the baby boy to Carl and started flippin' through the book.

She smiled, "They need names and I thought we could decide together."

We went over the names until all three of us agreed.

"You wanna wait to tell everyone?" I asked her.

"No," she smiled at us, "Y'all go ahead and tell them."

Me and Carl walked into the common room, each carryin' a baby and told everyone they had names.

"Are you gonna make us guess their names?" Sasha asked.

"No," I laughed, "this little girl here is Annette Margaret Grimes."

"Oh my God," Maggie cried and took her from me.

"Beth wanted to name her after her mama and you," I told her and we both smiled.

I looked at Carl, "Go ahead and tell them his name.

"This is Shawn Andrew Grimes," he smiled, "Shawn after moms brother and she let me pick his middle name so I picked Andrew."

 


	38. I Can't Hang On

_Six weeks later..._

**Beth** -

"Bethie, wake up?"

"No, Maggie. Leave me alone," I whined.

"Beth, get your ass up. NOW!"

I opened my eyes and stared at her, "Why?"

"'Cause I have a surprise for you," she smiled.

"Fine." I threw back the covers and got up.

"Here, put this on." She said handing me one of the dresses she had gotten me.

"Do I have to?"

"Yes. Hurry up."

After I changed, she pulled me out of the cell then out of the prison towards the guard tower.

"Why are you bringin' me out here?"

"You'll see, Bethie, you'll see."

She pulled me up the stairs and into the tower. She was the first one through the door.

"Maggie, what the hell are you doin' here?" Rick asked.

She shrugged, "I thought you and Beth would like some alone time." Then she pulled me through the doorway.

Rick smiled and shook his head.

"Don't worry," Maggie said, "I'm on watch with Carl tonight and he'll mostly be reading comics but we've got watch covered. And Glenn is in the cell block keepin' an eye on the babies. So he won't be out here to interrupt anything. But make sure the door is locked, just in case."

I laughed and she hugged me before leavin'.

Rick made sure the door was locked before walkin' up behind me and puttin' his arms around me.

He kissed my neck, "Your sister is gonna get us in trouble. You're supposed to be on bed rest still."

"Mmhmm." I turned around and wrapped my arms around his neck, "so...what are we gonna do?"

"Whatever you want."

* * *

**Rick** -

I watched her eyes light up when I said that and she smiled.

She leaned up to kiss me and whispered, "I just want you to hold me."

"I can do that," I smiled.

I pulled her over to the pile of blankets and helped her sit down.

It's been six weeks since the twins were born but Hershel and Carol have insisted on her doin' as little as possible and stayin' on bed rest.

I held her in my arms as she hummed.

I kissed her cheek, "I love you, Bethie."

"I love you, too."

I held her all night and watched her sleep.

She's perfect. She gave me two beautiful babies and she's a wonderful mother to Carl and Judith.

I can't believe she's about to be my wife. Hell, I can't believe Hershel didn't kill me.

Beth and I had talked about gettin' married. She said she just wanted us to exchange rings but I knew she wanted more than that.

Maggie's been helpin' me get stuff to give Beth what she deserves.

When the sun started comin' up, I woke Beth up and helped her to her cell.

Glenn was in there with twins and when he saw us, he let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank God y'all are here! They wouldn't stop cryin'."

Beth smiled and sat on the bed with a pillow in her lap.

I took Shawn out of Glenn's arms and raised an eyebrow.

"Ya mind?" I nodded towards the door.

"Oh. Sorry," he hurried out and closed the curtain.

I handed Shawn to Beth and unzipped her dress. She positioned him on her left side while I got Annette and helped position her on her right.

"I'm gonna go get Judith," I told her.

When I came back, I sat down on the bed and let Judith crawl towards Beth.

"Hey baby girl," Beth cooed at her.

Judith smiled and giggled.

"Dad?" Carl called from outside the cell.

I picked Judith up and opened the curtain enough I could see him.

"What'd you want, Carl?"

"Somethin's wrong with Violet."

I looked back at Beth and the babies and then back to Carl.

"Here," I handed Judith to him as I stepped out of the cell, "sit out here with Judith 'til mom gets done feedin' Shawn and Annie, okay?"

He agreed and I went to check on the animals.

* * *

**Beth** -

I finished feedin' the babies and laid them on the bed so I could change into some different clothes.

I was still a little sore and I hadn't lost a lot of the "baby weight" so my jeans were a little uncomfortable.

I started to place both babies into their crib when I heard a gunshot.

"Carl!" I called out.

"Mom," he swung the curtain open and put Judith on the bed, "I'm gonna go check it out."

"No, you're not, Carl," I grabbed his arm.

"Mom, please."

"No, I'm sure your dad will be in soon. Just shut the door."

We could hear screamin' and gunshots. Though they weren't in this cell block, they were close enough that we had three screamin' babies in the cell.

Eventually, Maggie and Michonne came in and told us what was happenin'. I couldn't believe it.

Before I could stop him, Carl ran outside. I started after him but Maggie stopped me.

"No, Beth. I'll go get him. You have three babies that need you. You can't get sick."

* * *

**Rick** -

I saw Carl comin' out of the prison and headin' towards me.

I was tearin' down the pig pen.

We talked for a few minutes before I gave him back his gun and he left.

I looked around the prison.

Walkers were pilin' up against the fences, people inside were gettin' sick and dyin', then turnin'.

The threat wasn't outside these fences anymore, it was inside too.

I thought of Beth and the babies and Carl.

I can't protect my family from the shit that's goin' on.

 


	39. Makin' Plans

**Beth** -

It took almost a month for whatever illness was goin' around to subside and in that month I didn't get to see Rick or really anyone else except our kids, excluding Carl, and the other kids and elderly from Woodbury. There's still quite a few people who are sick but they're all confined to cell block A.

Today was the first time we've been able to spend time together since then.

Rick and Carl helped me put Judy, Shawn and Annie down for their naps and then the three of us sat there talkin'.

I didn't say anythin' to Rick but I felt like there was somethin' wrong with Carl. He wasn't smilin' like he had before and his attitude seemed to have change.

After a while, Carl left and me and Rick laid down on the bed.

I had my head on his chest while he had his arms wrapped around me.

"I love you, Bethie," he whispered.

I raised up and smiled at him. "I love you, too."

He removed his arms from around me and sat up and rubbed his face.

I sat up too and started to rub his shoulders. "What's wrong, Rick?"

He reached up and took one of my hands in his, "Nothin's wrong, baby."

I put my arms around his neck from behind and kissed his cheek.

"Well, somethin's botherin' you. You know you can tell me, right?"

He nodded his head and pulled me around to sit in his lap.

He ran his thumb over my cheek and rested his forehead on mine.

"I don't know what to do anymore," he said, "I can't protect you and the kids like I'm supposed to."

"Rick, maybe you need to let everyone else worry about things for awhile. You did it before and I'm sure they'd understand if you stepped down for a little while."

He put his head on my shoulder and held me tighter as I ran my fingers through his hair.

"I can't do that, Beth."

"Yes, you can. You can take time away from being the leader to be with us, to be a husband and a father."

He kissed my neck, "We're not married yet, baby."

"I just wanna be with you, regardless of whether or not we're married. Besides, everyone already considers me your wife."

He raised his head up and smiled at me, "I'll talk to everyone at the council meeting and let them know I'm gonna be spendin' more time with my wife and kids."

* * *

**Rick** -

After the council meeting, I went out to the fences. It was dark and cloudy but the little bit of moonlight there was shown through enough to illuminate the walkers and shadow the prison.

It's been months since I've seen Lori but I guess that's what I'm doin' out here. I'm still lookin' for her.

I love Beth, probably more than I ever loved Lori but I don't want her to get hurt in any way but sometimes I think I'm hurtin' her more than anythin' by knowin' I can't protect her, I can't protect the babies, I can't even protect Carl.

I couldn't protect Beth from Shane and look what happened to her. I need to find a way to protect her from myself.

I was tryin' to figure out how to do that when she came up behind me and put her arms around my waist.

"Hey," she said.

I didn't respond. I just put my hands on her arms and closed my eyes.

"Rick, are you okay?" she asked after few minutes had passed.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

She pulled her arms away and moved to stand in front of me.

"If you're fine then what's botherin' you?"

I stared at her for a long time before I finally found the words.

"I can't marry you, Beth."

She smiled and put her arms around my neck, "Rick, I've already told you, I don't care about a ceremony. As long as we're together, that's all that matters."

I placed my hands on her arms and pulled them away from my neck.

"Bethie, I can't marry you. We can't be together anymore."

She jerked her arms out of my hands and took a step back.

"You...you're seriously doin' this?"

I saw the tears in hers and it hurt me to know I caused them but she would be better off without me.

"I thought you...I believed you loved me. God! I'm such an idiot," she cried and started walkin' away.

I grabbed her arm, "Bethie, I do love you."

"No, you don't! You never did! Just get away from me!"

I let go of her arm and watched her run into the prison.

* * *

**Beth** -

I stopped runnin' when I reached the door to the prison but when I entered, I hurried past everyone and went to my cell.

I looked at Judith, Shawn and Annie and cursed myself for believing Rick.

I sat down on the bed and started cryin'.

Everythin' he said was a lie.

"Bethie?" Maggie was standin' in the doorway, "What's wrong?"

I shook my head, "Nothin'."

She moved into the cell and sat down next to me.

"Tell me what's wrong, Beth."

"He doesn't love me," I cried. I know I sounded like some stupid teenage girl who just broke up with her first boyfriend but I really thought he loved me.

"What?"

"Rick. He doesn't love me. He never did."

"Beth, wh...what's goin' on?"

"Rick...he doesn't want to be with me. He...we're over."

"Oh God, Bethie. I'm so sorry," she pulled me into a hug.

"I can't believe I actually believed him. I'm so stupid," I cried on her shoulder.

"No you're not, Bethie. He's the stupid one."

I pulled away from Maggie when Rick stepped into the cell.

"Beth...," he started but stopped when Maggie stood up.

"Rick, leave her alone. Just go. We'll have a talk about this," she said it so calmly that I started thinkin' she knew he was gonna do this.

"Beth, that man really does love you. He's just havin' a hard time with everythin'."

I shook my head, "he's not havin' a he'd time with everythin'. He's havin' a hard time with me. He doesn't love me, Maggie. He never did. The only reason he was with me was because of Shane. The bad thing is, I actually love him."

Maggie hugged me again before she left.

* * *

**Rick** -

Maggie found me when she was done talkin' to Beth.

"So what's the plan now?" she asked.

I shrugged, "We just wait and see."

"Are you sure this is gonna work?"

"It has to work. We're out of options."

"Well, when this over, you have some serious makin' up to do with my sister. She loves you so I know she'll forgive you but once this is all over, you'll need to show her that you really do love her."

I nodded. "Maggie, I wasn't lyin' when I told you I felt like I couldn't protect her or the kids. I don't think I can."

She crossed her arms, "You are protecting them, Rick. When we find the Governor and we know he's dead. She'll understand and so will you."

When Maggie left, I went to Beth's cell and found she was asleep.

I went in anyway and checked on the babies before I went to find Carl.

I couldn't tell Maggie that as much as I want to be with Beth, I don't think we should be together. I'm in love with her but she deserves so much more than I can give her.

* * *

**Beth** -

Each time I woke up with the kids last night, I ended up cryin' myself back to sleep.

I've been sittin' here playin' with Judith while everyone gathered in the common room for breakfast.

I didn't want to see Rick after last night so I decided to stay in my cell until everyone had cleared out of the common room. I did the same thing at lunch and by the time dinner was ready, the whole prison had heard about me and Rick.

It seemed to be the only thing everyone was talkin' about so I went back to my cell.

* * *

**Rick** -

Our family knew they had to treat what I did as somethin' horrible so I had to endure the slaps from Maggie, the fold shoulder from Carl, the lectures from Hershel and to top it off, the threats from Daryl.

It was all for show, even if Beth didn't know it, our family knew.

* * *

_**-One Week Later-** _

**Beth** -

"Hey mom," Carl smiled, "I brought you breakfast."

"Thanks, sweetie," I smiled and took the bowl from him.

Everyday for the past week, Carl has brought me somethin' to eat and he's ate in the cell with me and the babies.

"Mom, I can watch them if you wanna get outta the cell for a little bit," he said, motioning to where the babies were.

I smiled and gave him a hug, "Thank you."

I didn't really know where I was gonna go when I left the cell but I found myself goin' to the library.

I guess I needed to be alone more than I thought and what better place than the library to be alone.

At least that's what I thought until I started to open the door.

I could hear someone inside and when I eased the door open a little and slipped inside, I could hear every word they were sayin'.

* * *

**Rick** -

"There's no fuckin' way I'm wrong 'bout this," Daryl said.

"He can't be wrong," Michonne agreed.

"I don't think he's wrong. I mean, I hope he is but I know he's not," Maggie added.

"I agree with y'all but we need to be careful. We don't know who's givin' the Governors men the information but we need to figure it out soon. We need a plan."

"Whoever it is is someone we trust," Carol spoke up, "they know our every move and when we go on runs, they know enough to ambush us."

"We're lucky they haven't killed anyone yet," Hershel said, "but my biggest concern is Bethie. The last time his men ambushed our group, they threatened her life."

"I know," I told him and the others, "that's why I've done what I've done. It's the only way I can protect her. He knows what he's doin'. He's tryin' to get us to let our guard down and weaken."

Everyone agreed that our current situation was necessary.

* * *

**Beth** -

I listened to their whole conversation but it ended up leavin' me confused and pissed off.

Was I wrong about Rick? But why would he intentionally hurt me? What was actually goin' on?

I had left the door slightly open so I could leave before they noticed me but just as I turned around towards the door, I saw someone pass by.

They had obviously been listenin' and they must've seen me. Who was it and why were they listenin' to the council meeting. I knew why I was listenin' but that was different.

I tried to hurry out of the library to go after whoever that was but by the time I made it down the corridor, they were gone.

I didn't try to find them, I just went back to my cell. I had too much on my mind and I had too many questions.

* * *

**Rick** -

We had an idea of who was sneaking information to the Governor but we had no idea why or how they were doin' it.

For now though, I had to go on watch and not worry about anythin' but that.

I made my way out to the guard tower after checkin' on the babies.

I scanned the tree line, waitin'. It seemed like that was all we were doin' now, just waitin'. Waitin' for another thing to go wrong, waitin' for someone to try to take the home we've built, waitin' for our home to be destroyed and waitin' until we were either bit by a walker or opted out and there was absolutely nothin' I could about any of it. Nothin' except wait.

It all made me feel useless.

We've all lost friends, family even, I've lost my wife, almost lost my daughter and son; and then Beth, I almost lost her so many times and our babies.

After everythin' we've built here, after everythin' and everyone we've lost, to lose the prison would be the last straw.

This prison is the only chance I have at protecting my family. Not just Beth and our kids but everyone, our family.

I was pulled away from my thoughts when I heard someone comin' up the stairs.

Beth opener the door and stood there starin' at me. She looked nervous and scared as she walked closer to me.

"Rick," she sighed, "can we please talk?"

I nodded.

"Do you love me?" she asked.

I held out my hand and she took it, "I love you, Beth and nothin's gonna change that."

"Then why did you say you couldn't be with me? Why don't you want me?"

"Bethie, I do want you but there's some things goin' on that needs to be fixed first."

"Like what? What is so damn important?"

"It's nothin' you need to worry about, baby."

* * *

**Beth** -

I groaned and felt like slappin' him but I didn't.

Why was he lyin' to me? What was goin' on that they didn't want me to know?

"Rick, I heard y'all in the library. Why won't you tell me what's goin' on?"

He looked shocked for a minute before he pulled me to him and pressed his lips to mine.

"Beth," he whispered, "you can't tell anyone what you heard or what I'm about to tell you. Okay?"

"Okay," I nodded.

It took about an hour for Rick to explain everythin' to me and when he finished, I finally understood.

"Can you play along, Bethie?"

I smiled, "Of course I can."

He smiled too and started kissin' me.

* * *

_**-Two Days Later-** _

**Rick** -

Surprisingly, Beth has been able to play along.

We had a council meeting earlier today to make plans for a run and now we're waiting.

We have members of our group on watch all around the prison.

We've all been waitin' for hours to see if anyone was gonna take the bait and sure enough, someone did.

We gathered in the tombs where Daryl and Merle had brought the suspect and had them tied to a chair.

They had caught someone sneakin' out of the prison fences and through the woods. This someone was givin' away our every move. They were tryin' to weaken us and hurt Beth.

When we saw who it was, Carl ran back to the cell block to get Beth while we tried to get some answers.

"Sarah, why?" Carol asked her but she stayed silent.

Carl and Beth stood just outside the doorway but they were both visible from inside the room.

Sarah glared at Beth and started laughin'.

"You wanna know 'why'?" Sarah asked everyone, "I did what I had to to protect my family."

She looked at Michonne, "You killed my niece and took my brothers eye out. You all should be livin' as walker bait instead of livin' here, safe. Havin' kids," she turned her gaze back to Beth, "you should be dead."

Maggie grabbed Sarah by her shirt and hit her several times. "Where is he? Where's the Governor?"

Sarah spit out blood and laughed again, "I don't know. Even if I did, I wouldn't tell you."

* * *

**Beth** -

I couldn't believe that Sarah was the one who caused all of this.

I trusted her. I thought we were friends. But hearing her now, everythin' started to make sense.

She got close to Rick, to me, to everyone really and she got close to my kids.

Oh my God! I can't believe I trusted her with my kids!

I couldn't watch what was unfolding in the tombs so I ran out.

It wasn't until much later that everyone returned to the cell block. I didn't have to ask to know that that had taken care of the problem.

Carl immediately ran to me and hugged me. He was tryin' not to cry but I could hear his voice crack as he spoke.

"Mom, I'm glad she didn't get to you. I don't wanna lose you."

"You can't lose me. I'm here to stay."

Before Carl could pull away from me, Rick walked up beside us and put his arms around us.

The next mornin', as I helped Carol fix breakfast, I noticed that everyone seemed to be in a better mood.

The threat of the Governor was still very much on all our minds but for now, we could be happy. We're all safe.

Daddy said grace before we all sat down to eat but halfway through our meal, Maggie stood up.

"Hey, everyone. Listen up. The next two days are gonna be hectic and for two weeks we're all gonna have to be pullin' doubles."

There was a collective groan but Maggie continued.

"Rick and Beth are gettin' married in two days and then after that, the council has decided to give them a two week honeymoon."

After hearing that, it was my turn to groan.

It was just like Maggie to make this kind of announcement to everyone before I knew.

Rick leaned close to my ear, "Are you alright?"

I shook my head no but didn't elaborate.

This was somethin' I needed to discuss with him and him alone. Not the whole damn prison.

 


	40. Wear My Ring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter is rated "M" for adult content, etc.

**Beth** -

After breakfast, Maggie helped Carl watch the babies while I went with Rick to the guard tower. It was his time for watch but we still needed to talk and that was the only place we could be alone.

Once we were inside I started to get really nervous.

"Bethie, are you gonna tell me what's wrong?"

I shrugged, "I don't know."

"Do you want to get married? If you don't want to, I understand."

I wrapped my arms around my stomach and looked down, "It...it's not that."

"Well, baby, what is it?"

"The...the honeymoon," I kept my eyes on the floor, "I...I don't...I'm not sure I want that."

Rick nodded and smiled, "I told you, we don't have to do anythin'. We can think of it as a break from havin' to deal with everyone and walkers."

I didn't know how to tell him that I was second guessin' everythin'. It was even harder with him starin' at me.

I turned away from him and blurted out, "I'm...I'm not ready to have sex with you."

Before I turned back around, his arms were around me.

"Beth, we don't have to have sex. I don't expect anythin' of you and that sure as hell ain't why I want to marry you. I love you, Bethie."

"I know you do and I love you but I...I just need to...after what...Shane was my first time and it was horrible," I started to cry.

"Hey, shh...," he said, "What Shane did to you was horrible. I'm sorry for that, baby. I'm never gonna hurt you like that."

"Rick, I want to be with you that way but I don't know...what to do. I mean...I'm not stupid, we've done a...a few things but...that isn't one of them."

Rick leaned down and kissed my forehead, "We're goin' at your pace, baby."

I wiped my eyes and put my head against his chest.

* * *

 **Rick** -

I held her as close to me as possible.

I knew she would be scared but I wanted her to know that that wasn't the reason I wanted to be with her.

I want to be with her because I love her. I won't lie and say there ain't a part of me that wants to make her forget about what Shane did to her and show her how good it can be, because there is, but if she's not ready, I'm not gonna force her to be.

* * *

_**-Two Days Later-** _

**Beth** -

Maggie slept in my cell with me last night in case I needed help with the babies since she made Rick sleep somewhere else.

She wanted this to be as real as it could but honestly, it was gettin' annoying.

She woke me up before the sun came up and drug me down to the showers.

Maggie and Michonne fussed over my hair while Carol and Sasha fussed over my dress.

Carol had everythin' she would need to fix the dress if it was too small in the chest.

It was a beautiful, white, strapless, knee length dress with with a baby blue ribbon around the waist.

"Well, looks like you have your somethin' new and somethin' blue," Carol laughed lightly, "all you need now is somethin' old and somethin' borrowed."

Maggie looked me over and smirked, "I'll be right back."

When she came back she had her hands behind her back. "This is just a loan, Bethie but it counts as your somethin' old and borrowed. Turn around."

I did as she said and waited for her. She stepped up behind me and looped somethin' around my neck.

"Daddy's pocket watch?"

She smiled, "Yes. It looks good as a necklace."

Carol zipped up the dress and helped me to make sure the dress wouldn't be too tight or loose.

Maggie had gotten me a pair of heels but I wasn't comfortable in them so I slipped on my cowboy boots instead.

Before I turned back around to face them, there was a knock on the bars.

Michonne pulled the curtain open enough to see outside the cell before she opened it all the way.

"Special delivery fer tha bride," Daryl said and handed me a bouquet of Cherokee roses.

Maggie thanked him before she pushed him out of the cell.

"We wanted you to have a bouquet so we all asked Daryl to find you some flowers," Sasha said.

They all looked at me and told me how beautiful I looked and how happy they were for me and Rick before they changed into their dresses.

They had all chosen blue dresses. They were just a shade or two darker than the baby blue ribbon on my dress but they looked beautiful.

There was another knock on the cell door but before anyone could reach the curtain, Carl pulled it open.

"Take of the hat," Michonne told him.

"Yeah," ya can't give your mom away with that on," Maggie said as she flicked the rim of his hat.

He groaned when he took it off.

"They're ready," he said and held out his arm.

I looped mine through his and we followed Maggie, Sasha, Carol and Michonne out of the cell and to the cell block exit.

Daddy was gonna give me away, and though I wanted him to, he decided he wanted to my face as I walked down the aisle.

* * *

 **Rick** -

I hated myself for comparing Beth and our wedding to Lori and our wedding day over the last few days but I couldn't stop it.

I had loved Lori at the time, I still love her but Beth was different. There wasn't one thing about her that reminded me of Lori and that made me love her more. She was perfect.

We had everythin' set up in the courtyard just as Maggie thought it should be.

The few tables we had were covered in white table cloths, there were chairs set up and ribbons everywhere.

It didn't look bad considering we were in a prison.

We even managed to find a radio, batteries and a few CD's with songs Maggie said would be perfect. Two of the songs she had picked out were songs she said Beth always wanted to use in her wedding.

I didn't think I was nervous 'til Daryl and Glenn started laughin'.

"C'mon man. You need to stand still and quit fidgeting," Glenn laughed.

I quit until I heard the music starting and Maggie, Sasha, Carol and Michonne started walkin' towards us.

My heart was racin' but it felt like it stopped when I saw her.

She was beautiful. More beautiful than I could've imagined.

Carl looked at her and smiled before they started walkin' down the aisle.

Everythin' around us and all the be shit in this world seemed to disappear.

* * *

 **Beth** -

I was so nervous I couldn't stand still.

Maggie had gotten on to me a couple times already sayin' that all my movin' around would cause my hair to lose the curls but I didn't care.

"Mom, seriously," Carl did his best to sound annoyed, "chill out."

My nervousness disappeared when the music began and we all started walkin' towards Rick.

* * *

 **Rick** -

Hershel had agreed to keep things short and simple. We would say our vows and anythin' else that needed to be said would be said after the ceremony. He started off by askin' me to recite my vows

"I, Rick, take you, Beth, to be my wife, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live."

"I, Beth, take you, Rick, to be my husband, to have and to hold you, to honor you, to treasure you, to be at your side in sorrow and in joy, in the good times, and in the bad, and to love and cherish you always. I promise you this from my heart, for all the days of my life."

After we exchanged rings, Hershel smiled, "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Our kiss was interrupted by all three of our babies cryin'.

This definitely wasn't a traditional wedding but that didn't make it any less special.

* * *

 **Beth** -

All the guys moved things around to make room for us to dance.

Tyreese stood on one of the tables, "This first dance is for Mr. and Mrs. Rick Grimes. Congratulations Rick, Beth."

Rick put took my hand and wrapped one arm around my waist as the music started playin' for our first dance as husband and wife.

I like the way that sounds! Husband and wife.

_"Our love is unconditional, we knew it from the start. I see it in your eyes, you can feel it from my heart. From here on after let's stay the way we are right now, And share all the love and laughter that a lifetime will allow._

_I cross my heart and promise to Give all I've got to give to make all your dreams come true. In all the world you'll never find a love as true as mine._

_You will always be the miracle that makes my life complete, And as long as there's a breath in me, I'll make yours just as sweet. As we look into the future, it's as far as we can see, So let's make each tomorrow be the best that it can be._

_I cross my heart and promise to Give all I've got to give to make all your dreams come true. In all the world you'll never find a love as true as mine._

_And if along the way we find a day it starts to storm, You've got the promise of my love to keep you warm. In all the world you'll never find a love as true as mine, A love as true as mine."_

Rick kissed me when the song was over and held me close to him, "I love you, Bethie. I love you more than anythin'."

"Excuse me, son," daddy was standin' next to us, "I do believe it's my turn to dance with the bride."

Daddy took my hand in one of his.

_"Gotta hold on easy as I let you go Gonna tell you how much I love you Though you think you already know_

_I remember I thought you looked like an angel Wrapped in pink, so soft and warm You've had me wrapped around your finger Since the day you were born_

_You beautiful baby from the outside in Chase your dreams but always know the road That'll lead you home again Go on, take on this whole world But to me you know you'll always be, my little girl_

_When you were in trouble that crooked little smile Could melt my heart of stone Now look at you, I've turned around And you've almost grown_

_Sometimes you're asleep I whisper 'I love you' In the moonlight at your door As I walk away, I hear you say "Daddy, love you more"_

_You beautiful baby from the outside in Chase your dreams but always know the road That'll lead you home again Go on, take on this whole world But to me you know you'll always be, my little girl_

_Someday, some boy will come And ask me for your hand But I won't say yes to him unless I know He's the half that makes you whole_

_He has a poet's soul, and the heart of a man's man I know he'll say that he's in love But between you and me He won't be good enough_

_You beautiful baby from the outside in Chase your dreams but always know the road That'll lead you home again Go on, take on this whole world But to me you know you'll always be, my little girl."_

After I danced with daddy, he hugged me and we all sat down to eat.

We had fried deer meat and kabobs with veggies.

To my surprise, Carol and Sasha had made a wedding cake.

"It was nothin' really," Carol said, "all we had to do was mix a can of pineapples with an angel food cake mix ad we put the pan on the grill."

I had never had that kind of cake before but it was good.

We all ate and laughed and a few people gave speeches.

I had to leave for a little while to feed the babies but when I returned, Rick grabbed me for another dance.

"Why don't you sing somethin', Bethie?" Daddy said and everyone agreed.

I put my arms around Rick's neck and he put his around my waist.

It took me a little bit while I thought of a song.

My eyes didn't leave Rick's as I sang to him.

_"Well I, I still can remember times When the night seemed to surround me I was sure the sun would never shine on me And I, I thought it my destiny To walk this world alone But now you're here with me Now you're here with me_

_And I don't regret the rain Or the nights I felt the pain Or the tears I had to cry Some of those times along the way Every road I had to take Every time my heart would break It was just something that I had to get through To get me to you To get me to you_

_Well I, I still can recall the days When I had no love around me Makes me glad for every day I have with you And I, I look in your eyes and know I'm right where I belong And I belong with you Always belonged with you_

_And I don't regret the rain Or the nights I felt the pain Or the tears I had to cry Some of those times along the way Every road I had to take Every time my heart would break It was just something that I had to go through To get me to you To get me to you_

_And if I could I wouldn't change a thing Wouldn't change a thing baby Because your love was waiting there for me Waiting there for me baby_

_And I don't regret the rain Or the nights I felt the pain Or the tears I had to cry Some of those times along the way Every road I had to take Every time my heart would break It was just something that I had to get through To get me to you, To get me to you."_

I couldn't believe how beautiful our ceremony turned out to be. I certainly wasn't expectin' it but I was kind of happy Rick and Maggie had decided to make it as real a wedding as possible.

After we celebrated with everyone, Maggie pulled me away and led me over to the administration building.

She opened the door to one of the offices and I couldn't believe what I was seein' when we stepped in.

"You deserve a proper honeymoon," she told me.

I looked around at all the candles and at the desk, which had a few bottles of wine and a bunch of junk food on it.

"Don't worry, Bethie. I know you're nursing but you can drink the wine. Just not too much. Whenever it's time for them to nurse, we'll bring them to you but this is your honeymoon. Enjoy it!"

I didn't notice the bed until she walked over to it and picked up a bag.

"This isn't a sleeper sofa, it's an actual bed," she said and handed me the bag.

I looked inside and pulled out a red lace bra and matching panties.

Maggie didn't say anythin' else to me, she simply left.

That's when I started to get really nervous.

Though we are technically married now and we have kids together, we haven't actually had sex yet. He's touched me but the only time he's ever actually seen my body was when he found Shane hurtin' me and when I had the twins.

When he came into the room, I decided that I would at least try to get over my fears and nervousness.

I smiled and put my arms around his neck, "I know you said we could wait but I...I want to be with you in every way I can."

He smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "We don't have to do anythin', Bethie but if you're sure you wanna try, we can."

I nodded nervously and kissed him, "I want to try."

He kissed me and slid one of his hands around my waist, pulling me even closer to him, while the other slowly unzipped my dress.

He pulled away and stared into my eyes.

"It's okay," I told him.

He kissed me again as my dress fell to the floor.

This time I broke the kiss and took his hand, leading him to the bed.

I toed off my boots and laid back while he removed his.

I took a deep breath when he leaned over me and started kissin' down my neck.

My eyes were closed, when I felt his fingers start to roam and he began to stroke my breasts and tease my nipples with his tongue. His mouth moved down my body and he began to tease my swollen lips with his fingers.

"Please stop," I whispered.

"Bethie? Are you okay?"

I shook my head vigorously, "No. I...I can't do this, Rick. I'm sorry."

He moved up the bed and pulled me into his arms. "Don't ever be sorry, baby."

* * *

 **Rick** -

I held Beth until she went to sleep.

I shouldn't have tried anythin' with her tonight. I knew she probably wasn't ready even if she said she was.

The way her voice cracked when she asked me to stop and the fear in her eyes makes me wonder if she'll ever be ready for anythin'. She wasn't a virgin but she sure as hell didn't deserve what happened to her. She had no clue how good it could be, she's only known the bad.

It just pissed me off to know how badly she had been hurt and despite everyone thinkin' she had moved past it, she clearly hadn't.

The next mornin' when I woke up, she wasn't in the room.

I figured she'd gone to see the kids so I just laid there a while before I went to check on them.

* * *

 **Beth** -

I left early this mornin' so I could talk to Maggie about last night.

She and Daryl were the only ones who knew about Shane so I thought maybe she'd be able to help me.

"I really don't know how I can help you, Bethie. I've never been in your situation before," Maggie said, "but have you tried talkin' to Rick?"

"Yeah and he told me that we could wait until I'm ready."

"But?"

"But I want to be ready. I want to be with him that way."

Maggie thought for a minute while she bounced Judith and I tried to feed the twins.

"Get drunk," she blurted out.

"What? No."

"Beth, I don't mean get so drunk you won't be able to do anythin'. Just drink a little."

"I'll try it tonight."

"No, don't try it tonight. There's gonna be a run today so I'll see if Glenn and Daryl can keep an eye out for somethin' stronger. If they can't find anythin' then you'll just have to drink wine."

* * *

_**-Later the next night-** _

**Beth-**

Thankfully they had been able to find somethin' on their run but I didn't really have the courage to drink any until now. I'd been wanting to but I couldn't.

I had put on the things that were in the bag Maggie had given me and I poured myself a drink. It tasted bad but I had to do it. I couldn't be scared anymore. I knew Rick wouldn't hurt me but I had to try somethin'.

I stood there for a little bit tryin' to decide if I could go through with it or not.

Before I could pour another drink, behind me I heard, "Wow!"

Not wanting to believe what I heard, I slowly turned my head and saw Rick in the doorway. I quickly grabbed the blanket off the bed to cover my exposed body. I hadn't made up my mind yet.

By the time I was done fumbling with the covers, Rick had sat down on the bed and was pulling me into his lap.

"I love you, Beth."

I was so nervous I couldn't say it back.

He leaned forward and kissed me then unclasped my bra and pulled it away. He moved to help me lay down and kissed my collar bone. Trailing kisses up my neck, my jaw, my ear, my cheek and finally my lips.

He pulled away and smiled down at me.

"We don't have to do this. I don't wanna rush you into anythin'. So if you're not ready for somethin', just stop me, okay?"

I nodded then he placed a hand behind my neck and raised my head towards him. He brought his lips to mine and kissed me, softly. His tongue caressed my lips, trying to slip in my mouth. His other hand, which was on my breast, pinched my nipple. I gasped and in that brief interlude his tongue slipped into my mouth. It didn't take long for me to respond. He started to pull away, but my arm wrapped around him and pulled his mouth back into mine. I was on fire. I started kissing him with the same passion he kissed me.

The hand that was on my breast drifted down. My breath stopped as he slid his hand into my panties. My thoughts of kissing vanished and my arms loosened from around his neck.

He kissed my nose, my chin, my collar bone and between my breasts. Everywhere he kissed new and more goosebumps appeared. He looked up at me, his chin resting between my breasts, but did nothing until I looked at him. Then he smiled, licked his lips and began sucking my tits. I moaned, quietly and closed my eyes.

He got off the bed and took his clothes off then he climbed back onto the bed and slid his body between my legs, positioning himself.

"Are you ready?"

I nodded and bit my lip. I was scared but it felt right at the same time.

He placed himself against me. I closed my eyes and tried not to tense up. The whiskey had worked a little but not enough. As he slowly pressed inside, he leaned forward to kiss me.

Once he was inside, he didn't move until I opened my eyes again and gave him a slight nod, then he began to slide in and out.

Before I knew it, my whole body shuttered and I gripped his arms tightly.

He rolled onto his back and pulled me to him. When I had caught my breath, I let out a deep, contented sigh and put my head on his chest. It was so much better than I thought it would be.

* * *

_**-Four days later-** _

**Rick-**

We were supposed to be on our honeymoon still but we weren't stayin' locked away in our room.

Beth had missed the kids and since she had to nurse the twins, they were stayin' with us. During the day she spent time with them, Carl and Judith as well as everyone else.

I let her sleep late this mornin' since we were gonna have a council meeting.

Most of us were in the library and ready to start the meeting but there were a few people missin'.

Maggie and Glenn searched for Hershel; Carol looked for Michonne; and Daryl and I looked for Tyreese.

We looked everywhere we thought he'd be before we headed down to the tombs.

"Tyreese? You down here?" I called out.

"Rick? Is that you?"

We continued to walk until we met up with him.

"You guys gotta see this," he said.

"We have a meetin' to attend."

"It can wait. C'mon," he turned around and we followed him.

"Look," he said, directing his flashlight to a piece of board with a rat cut open and nailed to it.

"Tha hell?" Daryl mumbled as moved to take a closer look.

"Remember the rats at the fence," Tyreese said, "we got a psychopath livin' with us. We gotta find 'em, Rick and I'm not gonna sleep until we do."

Before I could say anythin', an explosion shook the prison.

We all rushed out to the fence to the Governor with more tham a few vehicles and a tank.

"Rick, come down here. We need to talk," he shouted.

I felt like I had just been kicked in the gut by a horse.

"It's not up to me. There's a council now. They run this place."

"Hershel on the council?"

We all stared in disbelief as they pulled Hershel from a car.

I felt Beth's shakin' hand on my arm. She was so close I could hear her tryin' to breathe.

"What bout Michonne? She on the council too?" He shouted and then she was pulled from another car.

'I don't make decisions anymore!"

"You're gonna make decisions today, Rick. Come down here and let's...let's have that talk."

I listened to what he had to say and I tried to reason with him.

If he wanted the prison, maybe we could've worked somethin' out. Maybe find a way to coexist.

I didn't like the idea of him bein' so close to my family but we could find a way.

* * *

 **Beth** -

I clung to Maggie as we all watched Rick and the Governor talk. We couldn't hear exactly what as bein' said but we all knew it wasn't gonna end well. That's why Daryl started passin' out guns.

Maggie grabbed my arm. "It's alright, Bethie. Rick will fix things and daddy..."

She stopped when the Governor jumped down off the tank and placed Michonne's sword at daddy's neck.

I quit breathin'.

The Governor slowly moved the sword away from daddy while Rick talked to him. I prayed that whatever Rick was sayin' would make the Governor change his mind and let daddy and Michonne go.

It looked like it was workin' until he swung the sword and it connected with daddy's neck.

I screamed over and over again as bullets began to fly.

Everythin' was hazy until Maggie pushed me back and told me to make sure the kids were on the bus.

I ran to my cell but Judith, Annie and shawn we gone. Someone had already taken them.

I ran back outside towards the bus just as it was leavin'. I looked around but all I could see was smoke and walkers.

I was frozen there when someone grabbed my arm.

"We gotta go, Beth," Daryl said, "we gotta go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This may end up being the final chapter y'all.
> 
> I have really enjoyed writing this story and I'm thinking about writing a sequel, though that could take awhile. So let me know of y'all would be interested in that.
> 
> Also, how bad was the smut? Lol
> 
> The songs used in this chapter are:
> 
> "I cross my heart" by George Strait
> 
> "My little girl" by Tim McGraw
> 
> "To get me to you" by Lila McCann


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